COW FLOP QUESTIONNAIRE
First of all, what were you doing walking down the street?
(check as many as apply)
Going to the store ||
Observing cow behavior ||
Going to the Fall Carnival ||
Minding my own business ||
Beats me! ||
None of your business ||
Thinking about how I needed a new pair of shoes, socks and pants
Second - what type of cow was it, and what color?
(check as many as apply)
Holstein ||
Brahma ||
Large ||
Brown ||
Black ||
White ||
Red ||
poor visibility at the time ||
Beats me! ||
Didn't notice, was busy thinking about how I needed a new pair of shoes, socks and pants ||
Other
Third - how deep, and how fresh, was the pile of "flop" in question?
(check as many as apply)
just hit the edge ||
mid-shoe ||
ankle ||
"calf" ||
knee ||
thigh ||
UGH! ||
crusty ||
firm ||
slightly loose ||
fresh this morning ||
still smokin' ||
Didn't notice, was busy thinking about how I needed a new pair of shoes, socks and pants ||
Other
Fourth - what articles of clothing were damaged or destroyed as a result of your inadvertent "step"? (check as many as apply)
shoes ||
socks ||
trousers ||
lady's hosiery ||
lady's slacks ||
dress/skirt ||
other stuff that is really kinda embarrassing to talk about
Last, please describe fully any and all emotional damage you may have (surely have) suffered as a result of this degrading and humiliating experience. Be sure to indicate any specific problems you may have (surely have) had as a result of the total disregard for human dignity and decency that the fat cat cattle barons have caused you due to their total negligence and abrigation of responsibility to the members of this community - - including, but not limited to: loss of sleep, feelings of worthlessness, problems at home and/or at work, impotence, incontinence, suicidal thoughts, loss of marital accomodations, uncontrollable fear of cows, fear of high pressure car washes, blurred vision, headaches, stomach aches, sudden allergies to meat and/or dairy products, fear of walking down the street, belief that cows are following you and saying things about you behind your back, or other.
THAT'S ABOUT IT, my friend. All we need to know other than that is:
Your name and email address:
Name -
Email Address -
Many thanks and we'll be in touch!
<<<<< ===== >>>>>
Back to:
Cow Flop Damage Control
||
Table of Contents
