1 February 2000

Had to take some Ambien to get to sleep.  Went to a support group meeting.  After the meeting, I was standing outside chatting.  When I went to leave, I had a hard time getting my right leg to cooperate.

2 February 1999

Took a little more Ambien to sleep last night.  Saw the neurologist today.  He said to go ahead and take the Ambien when I'm on the road.  At home I should not even read in bed.  I have to try and train my body to think of the bed as a place to sleep.  Asked him about my back breaking out in acne (seems to be a reaction to the Avonex).  He said to skip the Avonex for a week and see if my back still breaks out.  Don't know if I want to do that.

3 February 1999

After trying for an hour, I took a little more Ambien (less than 1/3 of a pill) to sleep last night.  The spasticity in my stomach was especially bad today.  I took a Baclofen but no matter how I sat, I couldn't get rid of the sore, tight feeling.

4 February 1999

I'm doing what the doctor said, not reading in bed.  Last night I hardly slept at all.  I thought about taking some Ambien around 12, but didn't take it.  Needless to say, I'm very tired.

5 February 1999

Even though I was tired I had trouble sleeping.  About 12, I finally gave up and took some a small piece of Ambien.  Avonex # 27 tonight.

6 February 1999

Tried to sleep for 3 hours, gave up, and took about 1/3 of a pill of Ambien.  It's so damn frustrating.  I want to sleep so much and can't.  Have to keep trying, otherwise I'll get addicted.  No bad effects from the Avonex.

7 February 1999

Took 1/3 tablet of Ambien before I went to sleep.  I woke about 1 and was awake the rest of the night.  Work today was very busy and was stressed more than normal.  The spasicity  was worse than usual today.

8 February 1999

Even though I was exhausted, I still could not fall asleep.  Ended up taking 1/3 tablet of Ambien about two hours after going to bed.  So damn frustrating.

9 February 1999

Still a hard time falling asleep.  Took 1/3 of a tablet of Ambien.  Thinking of taking some time off work to try and beat this sleep thing.

10 February 1999

Took 1/3 of a tablet of Ambien before I tried to sleep.  Fell asleep fast and slept until the alarm went off.  I really didn't want to get up.  The spasticity  in my stomach is bad every day now.  Still taking the three Baclofen every day.

11 February 1999

Took 1/3 of a tablet of Ambien before I tried to sleep.  Slept till 4. 

12 February 1999

Didn't sleep all night.  Thought about taking some Ambien, but refused.  Avonex # 28 tonight.

13 February 1999

Didn't sleep all night again.  I'm so tired.   Really thought about taking some Ambien, but didn't want to.  I'm so worried about getting addicted, if not physically than mentally.  I might be mentally addicted already.  A 4-day weekend coming up, so I'll try again.  During the week, I'll take 1/3 of a tablet so I can get some sleep before I have to work.  I'm trying what the doctor said about training my body for the bed (no reading, just sleeping).  It doesn't seem to be working.  Must take a lot longer.  No bad effects from the Avonex.

14 February 1999

Fell asleep, but woke two hours later.  I gave up and took 1/3 of a tablet of Ambien.  Slept till almost time to get up.  My right thigh muscles are especially sore today.

15 February 1999

Took 1/3 of a tablet of Ambien before I went to bed.  It still me two hours to get to sleep.  I woke an hour early.  I wonder if being so tired makes the spasticity worse.  I think so.

16 February 1999

Took 1/2 tablet of Ambien.  It still took me 2 hours to get to sleep and woke about an hour early.  Fatigue is really taking its toll.  Have 5 days off during which I'll work on the sleep thing.

17 February 1999

Went to bed around 9 (normal time) and laid there until about 11.  I used the rest room and went back to bed and laid there until around 12.  I got up and read (not in bed) for about an hour.  I fell asleep (without taking anything).  I woke about 7.

18 February 1999

Went to bed about 10 (didn't take anything to help me sleep).  I think I didn't fall asleep for some time, but I don't remember.  I did wake at 2 to use the restroom, but laid there/slept until 5.  Finally got up at 6.  I don't know if  I slept or not.  I think so because I'm tired, but not that tired.  However, my head has that fatigue feeling (kind of like a constant buzzing).

19 February 1999

Had another bloody nose when I went to bed. Laid there a while to let the blood stop.   I can remember having a bloody nose four times in my life.  Three after the MS kicked in.  Slept (without taking anything).  Woke at 3 to use the rest room, but I didn't feel like getting up so I just laid there until 5.  Still feel somewhat refreshed. The buzzing in my ears is still there.  I think I can use the buzzing as an indicator of whether or not I'm getting enough sleep.  Avonex # 29 tonight.

20 February 1999

Went to bed at about 10 (without taking anything).  I didn't look at the clock, but it felt like it took a couple of hours to fall asleep.  Woke at 4.  The buzzing is still in my head.  No bad effects from the Avonex.

21 February 1999

Hardly slept at all.  Went to bed about 9:30 (without taking anything) and woke at 11.  Couldn't get back to sleep all night.  I'm so tired!  No way I can go to work like this.

22 February 1999

Went to bed at 9.  Gave up trying to go to sleep after about an hour (had to work in the morning) and took 1/3 of a tablet of Ambien.  Just felt poorly most of the day.  Legs felt weaker, spasticity  was worse, my right arm was sore (may be getting carpal tunnel syndrome).  To top it off I had another nose bleed today.

23 February 1999

Went to bed at 9.  Gave up trying to go to sleep after about an hour (really stressed) and took 1/2 of a tablet of Ambien.  About an hour later took the other half.  Woke really hung over.

24 February 1999

Went to bed at 9 and took 1/3 of a tablet of Ambien before bed.  Woke up early.  

25 February 1999

Went to bed at 9 and took 1/3 of a tablet of Ambien before bed.  Woke up about 1 and again about 4.  I am exhausted but went to work anyway.  Will try to sleep without anything tonight.

26 February 1999

Went to bed at 9 and fell right asleep without taking anything (exhaustion is a good sleeping pill).  Woke at 1 and again at 5.  Stayed in bed until 6.  The loud buzzing in my ears is very annoying.  Developed another killer head ache.  Avonex # 29 tonight.

27 February 1999

Went to bed at 9 and fell asleep without taking anything.  Woke at 1 and again at 5.   Stayed in bed until 6.  The buzzing in my ears is still there.  Also, I can feel another killer head ache coming on.  No bad effects from the Avonex.  Picked up some branches laying in the yard.  After one wheel-barrel full  I had to stop.  My legs were so worn out, I felt like I couldn't take another step.

28 February 1999

Went to bed at 9.  After about an hour I took some Ambien.  Slept until the alarm went off at 5.  My legs feel very, very weak.

29 February 1999

Took some Ambien before going to sleep and some more about an hour later.  My legs felt a little better this morning.  I walked too much this afternoon.  Now my legs feel very tired.