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Tuesday, February 10, 2004
4:13 PM

Fun In The Kitchen
With both of us working full time, you can imagine that we don't really do a formal sit down dinner each and every night. (Ok, so we don't do it much at all, unless you consider eating take out in front of the TV formal!) I am truly boggled by those who can work a full day, every day (like Skinny B for example) and then go home and cook a meal that involves more than about 3 ingredients (In my world salt and pepper count as ingredients, which severely limits the field). I can usually manage to do this a couple of times a week, but every day? No way. However, last night was one of those exceptional days when I actually cooked. I decided to be a good little wife and make my hard working hubby dinner. We had even planned for this possibility and had bought the makings for homemade chili (perhaps not the most glamorous, romantic, or complicated, but it has a lot more than 3 ingredients, so it counts). So I arrive home from work, ready to assume my role as a domestic goddess.

Remind me to get takeout next time.

Being the type "A" person that I am, I must first gather and organize all my ingredients. Meat, beans, tomatoes and tomato sauce, seasonings, green chilis, onion, garlic. Wait a moment! I can't find any garlic. Check the bowl with the onions, nope. Check the pantry, nope. Oh well, I guess I'll have to use the quasi-fresh lazy-man's garlic that they sell in jars which you keep in the refrigerator. Or at least, used to keep in the refrigerator. I can't find that either! So I start the Quest For Garlic in earnest, knowing that there must be some somewhere in the kitchen. How could I possibly be out of garlic? How in the world have I been keeping the vampires away?

Pantry Shelf Number 1: No garlic, but I do have a can of artichoke hearts for artichoke dip. I'm sure that you have all heard the story of The Great Christmas Oven Fire of 2003, and are well aware that I'll never be using that can. Anyone need any artichoke hearts?

Shelf number 2: Again, no garlic. But I do have an unopened jar of capers. Very useful. How could I have capers but no garlic? I also have a package of ground semolina back from when I bought my pasta machine and envisioned myself cranking out tons of fabulous fresh pasta. Anyone care to guess how many times I've used the pasta machine?

Shelf number 3: Guess what? No garlic. But I do have about 4 different kinds of flour (white, bread, rye, wheat and another one I can't remember now) back from when I insisted I HAD to have a bread machine. Again, I envisioned myself baking loaf after loaf of wonderful fresh bread (yes, I know that you don't have to have a bread machine to make bread). I did use the bread machine more regularly. However, I quickly learned that they sell bread machine bread mixes which come out much better than anything I could concoct. So now I have much flour and no use for it (I'll have to check with Nicole on this). By they way, I also have at least half a dozen of the bread mixes too. I really need to make bread more often. Just as soon as I find the garlic. . .

Shelf Number 4: (Sigh). Still no garlic. But there are many bottles of wine that could make the looking more tolerable.

On to Re-Check the Refrigerator.

Top Shelf: Marinated Sun-Dried Tomatoes. What's up with that? I really really am a yuppie, what with the capers and Sun-Dried Tomatoes. If only I had a portabella mushroom I think I could make one heck of a meal! No garlic though. But I do have the box of baking soda to fight any garlic odor.

Second shelf: Blah blah blah. Still no garlic. Or on any other shelves for that matter.

Finally, I give up. The chili will have no garlic.

At this point, I look at the recipe I'm using. Guess which ingredient is not on the list??

This is why I love takeout.

P.S. I did make the chili and it came out fabulously, even without garlic. But I made enough for most of the troops in Iraq. Anyone want some?

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