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Wednesday, June 16, 2004
10:06 AM

My name is Sarah and I am a Squirrelaholic . . .
They say that the first step is to admit that you have a problem. I am so there. First of all, let me say that I know that the problem (detailed below) is 150% my own fault. But that doesn't mean it isn't a problem. And I need help. Serious help.

Remember the cute little squirrels that I posted about so affectionately not too long ago? Remember the lengths I went to to encourage their presence in my yard? The birdseed? The corn? Well let me say that I am beginning to see the error of my ways and think it all may have been a horrible mistake. Why the sudden change of heart? How could I have turned on Ralph and his cute furry progeny so quickly? Allow me to elaborate.

1. They are eating all of the bird food. They actually get on the feeders now, stick their little paws right into the feeder holes, and gorge themselves on as much food as possible. The birds just sit on the wall and watch them for fear of being eaten also. It's kind of amusing to watch, but not when you have to refill the feeders every two seconds.

2. They are still eating our pumpkins. In fact, I now find little pumpkins with bites out of them in various places throughout the yard. It's like a twisted version of an Easter egg hunt.

3. Ditto to our zucchini.

4. Ditto to our tomatoes.

5. Ditto to our peppers.

6. Last weekend they ate all the leaves off of an entire flat of seedlings that I had started and had put outside to harden off. (Do you get the picture that they are hungry little monsters???)

7. Cute little baby squirrels become slightly less cute full-grown squirrels very quickly when eating lots of birdseed, pumpkins, corn, tomatoes, peppers and seedlings.

8. There are actually not 5 squirrels. There are 7. This is bad. Very. Very. Bad.

9. In trying to get up onto the bird feeders they climb the stems of our sunflowers. So far they have broken two stems and have managed to break off all the leaves on the bottom half of another.

10. When I try to plant new sunflower seeds to replace the plants they demolished, they dig up the seeds and eat them (shocking, I know). Hence, I only have 2 remaining sunflowers which I am sure they will break any day now.

11. When I try to start new sunflower seedlings indoors, they eat the seedlings as soon as they get the chance. (See number 6 above.)

12. They aren't at all tame and won't let us pet them.

13. They refuse to wear their name tags or do tricks. (Climbing the sunflower stems to get to the feeders and hiding vegetable carcasses around the yard do not constitute tricks. Perhaps if they would juggle the vegetables before eating them I could forgive them.)

14. They won't play with the cats.

Granted they are still cute, but I think we have a problem. But how do you get rid of a family of squirrels? (No, we won't hurt or kill them so don't even suggest it.) I don't think they will just leave if we ask. In fact, if we don't do something soon, I suspect they will be asking us to leave any day.

I'll make sure to post my forwarding address if the squirrels win.

I wonder if a hedgehog might help??

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