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Tuesday, June 29, 2004
9:31 AM

Patriot Squirrels?
Run for you lives!! Squirrels are taking over the country! Seriously. I thought it was just confined to our little slice of heaven in Dana Point (who could blame them for wanting to live there after all?). But now I realize that I was horribly mistaken. I have grossly underestimated the power and tenacity of the squirrels. The squirrels are slowly but surely implementing their plan to seize control of the country (maybe even the world - we'll have to keep an eye on that).

Watching the news this morning, I learned that we are far from alone in our squirrel woes. In fact, our problems have pretty much disappeared since we stopped filling the bird feeders. We see a squirrel or two every now and then, but the squirrel frenzy has definitely declined. Silly me thought that the squirrels had learned their lesson and would henceforth live in harmony with humans. Bad baaad Sarah. Apparently the squirrels just moved to Iowa.

Squirrels cannot be so easily thwarted. They have an extremely broad and organized network that advances the squirrel agenda. And they have very strange taste. See for example: Thieving Squirrel.

A family in Iowa was repeatedly tying yellow ribbons to the trees in their yard in support of their soldier son and other troops in Iraq. Problem was that the ribbons kept disappearing. Over and over and over. For months and months, they kept hanging new ones which, in turn, disappeared. When the family noticed that only the ribbons in their yard were disappearing, they asked their neighbors if anyone had seen any kids, ruffians, hooligans, etc. taking the ribbons. No one saw anything.

So the family did what any self-respecting family would do: set up a camera. Yes, you read that right. They aimed their video camera at the tree and taped to see what would happen. Lo and behold, they caught a squirrel shimmying up the tree, stealing the ribbon and running away with it. Yay for the squirrel cam!!

I'm not sure what the squirrel(s) were doing with all those ribbons. Maybe the squirrels wanted to show support for their squirrel counter-parts in Iraq. Or maybe they just wanted to look pretty. Who knows.

The problem is that now I want a squirrel cam too.

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