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8:19 AM
Ingenious or Insane?
I received this link by e-mail today and decided it was time for our readers to take a pop quiz. As you will see when you click on the link, you must determine whether the person shown is a ground-breaking computer programmer or a documented serial killer (such a slight difference really). So are you a good judge of character based on appearance only? Here is your chance to find out.
Programmer or Serial Killer?
P.S. I expect everyone to report back with their scores.
P.S. Though I was off to a great start, I ended up at 70%.
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Thursday, August 26, 2004
1:39 PM
Score: Vending Machine 3; Sarah 0.
I had a hearing at 11:00 which I expected to go an hour or so. No problem. Get ready for the hearing, go to the hearing, eat lunch, come back to work. Piece of cake. Except that I was still there at 1. And then at 2. Finally got out of there at 2:30, at which point I was ready to eat my desk if need be. But I had stuff to do so I didn't stop for lunch (I'm such a good little worker). I figured I'd just hit the vending machine in our office. (The vending machine company must make a killing off of us.)
Of course once I got back I was barraged with a gazillion little things that had to be dealt with right now. So the vending machine and food waited. Until 4 pm. By then I think I had in fact eaten part of my desk. But finally I broke free, dislodged all the splinters from my teeth, and headed down to the kitchen ready for "real" food.
The Machine has a long history of being quite persnickety. Sometimes it won't take bills, sometimes it won't take change. Sometimes it won't take either and it just keeps the food while silently mocking your hunger and crushed expectations. I was prepared as could be - I had bills and change. Nothing was going to stand between me and my food. Or so I thought. Apparently the Machine was in the mood to mock.
After carefully surveying my options, I decided to keep it simple - popcorn (I figured that I might want dinner later). Besides, it was the only thing that wasn't 150% crappy. So in goes my dollar bill. I make sure that I key in the correct row and number. Lord knows I didn't want to get stuck with the pack of Juicy Fruit gum by mistake. The machine does its thing. I hear the magical whirring sound of the machine pushing my popcorn to the front, ready to drop it to the bottom for me to grab. But then tragedy strikes - it stops, and the popcorn is still stuck in its row. No!! Given how desperate I am, I figure that if I just try again, the machine will fix itself and will give me at least one popcorn, hopefully two (which I would have happily eaten at that point). So in goes my change. Whirr whirr whirr. Now there are two popcorn pouches stuck in their row, none in my hand, and one really annoyed person staring in.
I tried shaking the machine a bit and found two things: (1) the Machine is REALLY heavy, so I really just made it vibrate mildly; and (2) moving it at all makes a TON of noise. Which drew the attention of one of the staff members who came over to see what was going on. I told her and she decided to take pity on me and contribute her own 85 cents to the cause to see if we could get the machine working. Care to guess the outcome? No popcorn. By then we are both really pissed off (and out a total of $2.55), so she starts shaking the machine. She was much better at it than I, but still no popcorn. But we did manage to make enough noise to attract the attention of a partner lurking nearby. Great, I'm going to get fired for trying to break into the vending machine. Luckily that didn't happen. In fact he then insisted that he could get it loose. So he proceeds to again shake the machine. That popcorn was not budging. And the Machine was in full mock mode.
Finally, after all that commotion, another person comes in, asks what all the racket is and when she sees the problem, she tells me she has popcorn at her desk she would give me. Thank God!! Finally popcorn. But not from the evil money-eating Machine.
In short, after spending $2.55, shaking the heck out of the Machine, and making enough noise to disturb the entire office (and maybe building), I finally got my food (which was a good thing given that I ended up stuck at the office until 7:30 pm). But the Machine remains undefeated. And I have a bizarre newfound respect for the Machine. But it won't get any more of my money! (Until the next time I'm starving . . .)
P.S. I did leave a note on the Machine letting the company know that it ate my money. Funny enough the guy came to refill it this morning and I got all the money back. So I get my money and the Machine kept its popcorn. All is right in the world.
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Wednesday, August 25, 2004
3:29 PM
Not-So-Precious Medal
However, after reading the news this morning, I would submit that there is at least one other athlete who needs to return his medal way before Hamm. Specifically, I think that Dutch rower Simon Diederik should be first in line. Why you ask? Because he left his silver medal in a taxi. Yes, you read that right. In a taxi! Here's the story: Lost Silver Medal.
Now I know we can all be absent-minded and we have all lost things from time to time, but this is an Olympic Medal! After training presumably for years, qualifying, competing and winning, he left it in a cab. Doh! Clearly he didn't make the Olympic team based on smarts. (I know I am cursing myself to lose something really important - probably tonight!) Methinks that this Olympic competitor partook of a bit too much Ouzo after winning. I do hope that Mr. Diederik doesn't have any children.
I think that the Olympic rules need to be amended to read that if you win a medal but then misplace it in a foolish manner, you automatically forfeit the medal.
But snaps to the cab driver who actually returned it. I think he should get to keep it.
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Saturday, August 21, 2004
7:12 AM
Olympapalooza
Dana's favorite "sport" in the Olympics is "race walking." I think mine has to be the trampoline. Did you even know that the Trampoline is an actual Olympic event? Seriously. Jumping. Up. And. Down. Huh? In case you doubt me click here. I have always believed that if I just tried enough sports I would eventually find one that I am not absolutely horrible at. Little did I realize that I glossed right over the trampoline back in second grade. I see Olympic potential in my future. No one loves to jump on the bed more than me. And I'm sure it's totally the same as the trampoline. Too bad our homeowners' insurance specifically excludes coverage for injuries resulting from trampolines (that and diving boards - apparently Mercury is not a big fan of jumping in general).
Other "sports" right up there with the trampoline are necessarily badminton and (sorry Mark) ping pong (or as the Olympics calls it "Table Tennis"). Whatever. Doesn't matter what you call them, are they really Olympic sports? What's next - wait for it - juggling? But is juggling a sport or an art form? Hmmmm.
Beach volleyball is another one I don't get. Wouldn't it necessarily be limited to countries that actually have beaches?? It seems either discriminatory (to exclude countries who don't have beaches) or downright silly (to have countries play that don't actually have beaches). Not sure which is worse.
The other night we saw that fencing was on. We were intrigued. We expected lots of parrying, thrusting and whatever else fencers do. We even hoped to see someone slapping someone else across the face with a glove like in all the movies with duels (because clearly everything you see in the movies is accurate). No such luck. It really wasn't entertaining at all. Just two people sort of hopping around and then poking at each other with the sword thingy (the foil?) hoping to trigger the electronic sensors. Really disappointing. At least they could have used real swords so it was absolutely clear who was winning. Or put them on a trampoline while they fenced.
I do know that if I was going to throw my hat into the ring and compete in the Olympics (I'm sure it's not too late) I would certainly pick a sport like gymnastics or swimming where there seem to be like a gazillion medals handed out. Different swim length. Different strokes. Different apparatus. Relay. Individual medals for each apparatus and for all around performance. Team awards. They must seriously hand out thousands of medals.
That's about it for my Olympic musings. Gotta go and watch some more. . .
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Friday, August 20, 2004
9:50 AM
Retraction
First of all, it's not every sport where you have a crazy tutu-wearing Canadian interfering with the games like this guy:
Yes, that is a blue tutu. If you want the whole story
click here. I cannot believe that (1) he was sentenced to 5 months in jail for this stunt, and (2) that he was sentenced in 2 days!! Those Greeks have one heck of a justice system.
Alas, we did miss the Tutu Man at the time, but the news clips were enough to restore some interest in the swimming events. After all, you never know what might happen next in the crazy world of Olympic swimming.
The second reason for the restored interest is all about Dana. Dana is a die hard Olympic fan. And we had the pleasure of watching the Olympics (swimming and gymnastics) with her last night. Dana is not only a huge defender of the Olympics, she also knows tons about them. She knows all about the athletes. Where they are from. How old they are. Their shoe sizes, favorite foods, astrological signs (ok, maybe not quite, but give her time). Dana's enthusiasm is infectious. So I will continue to watch the unending swimming and gymnastics thanks to Dana.
The third reason can be summed up in one word: sailing. We found this Olympic event being broadcast last night. Man oh man was that not very fun to watch. I found myself hoping that one of the sailors would fall overboard so I could see swimming again.
Granted, I still think there are too many heats and rounds of the swimming and that, as a result, you can't always tell right away which race is really for a medal. But for now I won't give up on swimming (or gymnastics). However I must note for the record (and Dana can confirm it) that last night there was practically nothing on other than swimming and gymnastics. So my rant was not all wrong.
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Thursday, August 19, 2004
8:55 AM
Olympic Rant
NO MORE SWIMMING PLEASE!!
And I could also do without more gymnastics.
I don't know about the rest of you, but somehow whenever we tune in to watch the summer games, the only thing that is on is either swimming or gymnastics. Seriously. There are just too many different variations in these two sports.
First they have like 20 different qualifying heats for each swimming event. 100 meter. 200 meter. Freestyle. Butterfly. Backstroke. Breaststroke. Men. Women. Dogs (ok, that I actually would like to see). An infinite number of combinations of the foregoing. Team relay, again combining the distances and strokes and genders in seemingly endless variations. Then they have the semi-finals for each (another interminable series of races). Finally, only after waiting a gazillion years, watching lap after lap after lap, and feeling waterlogged just watching, you actually see a race which results in a medal. To be honest, you are lucky to even know if the race is the medal race or not. Most of the time you just lose track (and interest).
I say that at most they should show the semi-finals and the finals. Probably just the finals. We really don't need to see dozens of qualifying rounds. I would have thought the swimmers had been significantly narrowed down before coming to the actual competition. Had I known how broad the starting group is, maybe I would have given it a shot. Better yet, just give the medals to Phelps and be done with it. Everyone repeat after me: NO MORE SWIMMING!
Gymnastics is nearly the same, much as I love it. All the apparatus. Individual and team competition. On and on it goes.
Sometimes I wonder if I am actually watching the same event being re-broadcast and am just clueless (which is entirely possible if not probable). I really have lost track at this point. And I don't really care. They could be showing footage from the Sydney Olympics and I wouldn't know it.
Maybe part of the problem is that we can generally only watch in the evenings. Maybe they show all the exciting sports like judo, archery, and rowing during the day. (Any of you day time watchers - please let us know what we are missing. We clearly must live vicariously through you.) And what happened to all the track and field? In any event, it is almost 100% guaranteed that when we get home from work, if we turn on the Olympics, it will be either swimming or gymnastics (notwithstanding the fact that we have Olympics available on at least three different channels). And we've had our fill.
Luckily for us, Lost in Translation was on one of the movie channels last night. Followed by Under the Tuscan Sun. So no Olympics for us. Maybe tonight will be different.
Please join us in hoping for something, anything, other than swimming or gymnastics tonight.
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Tuesday, August 17, 2004
12:25 PM
A Day At The Races
It was quite interesting. I've only been to the races once before so the novelty had not yet worn off. They even had someone there to explain what the information in the program and the racing forms means. Very helpful. Or so it seemed.
After carefully listening to the mini-lecture, we turned to the program which contains all the info about each race, the horses, the owners, the jockeys, the horses parents, the colors of the uniforms, the horses' favorite foods. Seriously, there is a ton of information in the program (well maybe not the part about the favorite foods, but the rest, and more, is in there), all of which is supposed to help you better understand the race and bet intelligently (talk about an oxymoron).
For example, Race 2 was described as:
"Maiden. Purse $49,000 (Plus Up To $14,700 To Cal-Breds) For Maidens, Two Year Olds. Weight, 120 lbs. Five And One Half Furlongs."
Makes sense. It's the maiden for these horses, which means they have never won a race (learned that from our racing school!). They will win $49,000 (plus $14,700 if they were bred in fabulous California). The horses are 2 years old with 120 pounds of jockey weight. Race was 5.5 furlongs long (though I have no idea how long a "furlong" is). Makes sense. I think we did ok on that race. Won a bit of money. Yay us!
But alas, Race 5 was looming.
Here is the description:
"Allowance. Purse $58,000 (plus up to $17,400 To Cal-Breds) For Three Year Olds And Upward Which Have Never Won $7,500 Other Than Maiden, Claiming, Or Starter Or Which Have Never Won Two Races. Three year olds, 118 lbs; Older, 123 lbs Non-Winners Of A Race Other Than Claiming Or Starter At A Mile Or Over Allowed 2 lbs. One mile And One Sixteenth. (Turf) Chute Start. (Rail at 0 feet)."
What???? How in the world am I supposed to figure that out? Is the $7,500 cumulative or in a single race? What's with all the "or"s in there? What if you won two Maiden races, but didn't win $7,500? Can you enter? And what's all that mumbo jumbo about horses older than 3 years old? My brained ceased functioning before I even got to the part about the rail (which also completely stumped me). We seriously have no idea what that description meant. It sounds like the Monty Python skit from the Meaning of Life:
"Will those of you who are playing in the match this afternoon move your clothes down onto the lower peg immediately after lunch, before you write your letter home, if you're not getting your hair cut, unless you've got a younger brother who is going out this weekend as the guest of another boy, in which case, collect his note before lunch, put it in your letter after you've had your hair cut, and make sure he moves your clothes down onto the lower peg for you."
Actually I think that the Monty Python skit makes more sense than the program from the races.
You would think that with such a bizarre and confusing description, there would be two, maybe three, horses that meet the indecipherable requirements (or that had the nerve to pretend to know what the requirements actually were). But no. There were nine!! I think that the race officials just didn't understand the description either and had to let them all in.
Needless to say, we didn't do too well on Race 5. All in all, we lost a bit of money, but not too much. Good fun for all.
I encourage everyone to try the races at least once. Just don't expect to have a clue what you are doing.
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Sunday, August 15, 2004
6:17 PM
New Website Design
Hope you all Enjoy!
P.S. Many thanks to Dana for all of her help with the new site. I was completely stumped before asking the master . . .
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Monday, August 09, 2004
2:40 PM
The Canadian Car Curse Continues
On Saturday, while Mark was driving the BMW, a chiming noise went off and an indicator light on the dash came on. It was a little red exclamation point, which can't be good. Generally something you look into. So we grabbed the owner's manual, which is roughly the size of the Encyclopedia Britannica. After muddling through it for a while, I find something that looks sort of like the indicator - something to do with a flat tire (I guess the car senses pressure levels in the tires and lets you know when one drops). So we go into the garage and stare at the tires. They look fine. We look some more. Still fine. Granted, it has low profile tires, but I would expect to see something if there was a flat. Nope. Nothing. Maybe we should have kicked them, but that seemed perhaps counter-productive if we had a flat.
At this point, after reading up on how to add washer fluid, what size the engine is, and how to operate the seat heaters, we realize the the manual just isn't helping (although we now know much more about the car than before). So we decide to call the dealer.
After several attempts to speak to someone in service, Mark finally reaches someone this morning. The problem is that you first have to speak to the service receptionist and explain your problem to her. Like she knows anything about the actual cars (I am supremely confident that she was hired for one reason and one reason only, ok, maybe two reasons, but I won't comment on them here). But this is the system we were given. So he explains to her what the problem is. And she grabs a copy of the manual. I kid you not. After flipping for a few minutes, she has the solution: "That indicator means that your car was made in Canada." Huh?? Double huh?? If only I had found that in the manual!
As I said before, there is no way she knows anything about cars (point proven), and yet we have to talk to her before actually making any progress. After all, it makes perfect sense to receive a sudden "warning", now that you have had a car for going on two years and 25,000 miles, that your car was made in Canada. That really is crucial information justifying not only a chime but a bright red exclamation mark which is constantly lit. Thank God it turned out we didn't have a real problem, or it would have been "So, flames are shooting out of the hood. Yah, that happens, Today is no good to bring the car in. How about never, does never work for you?"
At that point, Mark asked to be transferred to an actual service person. Luckily she agreed (maybe she realized just how ridiculous her suggestion sounded - probably not). But the service guy didn't know what the indicator meant either. So he put Mark on hold and asked a technician. Still no dice. Very confidence inspiring. But they agreed to look at it right away, which was a small form of progress given that the Canadian-hating receptionist said there were no appointments until Friday the 13th (obviously not a good option).
Turns out we had a nail in the tire and - surprise!! - as I surmised from the manual, it was a tire pressure issue.
So as of right now, while Lexus searches for our Canadian part, BMW is fixing the tire on our allegedly Canadian Z4. And we have no cars of our own.
The good news is that allegedly the part has been located and the Lexus will be ready today. If all goes well, we will be back up to a two car home this evening. But perhaps not if Canada keeps butting in.
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Friday, August 06, 2004
11:52 AM
Lessons for the Week
1. Webcams Rock!!
Ok, I already knew this, but every day I am amazed to re-learn that I love love love to watch what is going on at home, even when there really is nothing going on at home (which is about 99% of the time). I constantly have our site up so I can check on the happenings. For example, right now two cats are sleeping on the couch. For those of you that missed it, LG did wake up a while ago and gave herself a thorough cleaning. Tired from her exertions, she promptly went back to sleep.
2. I Want To Be One Of Our Cats
If you need any explanation, refer to Number 1, above.
3. Ontario California and Ontario Canada Are Two Completely Different Places
Actually, we already knew this too. But the Lexus dealer apparently didn't. We took in the Fabulous Lexus a full week ago. They needed a part. Said it was coming from Ontario and would arrive the next day. Fast forward to the next day - no part. Turns out they thought it was coming from Ontario California when in reality it is coming from Ontario CANADA. Slightly different seeing as Ontario California is only an hour or so away. Not so with the other Ontario. Who knew?? They missed the Wednesday projection too. New date was supposed to be today. Let's just say I'm not holding my breath as I type this. We're starting to suspect that they have actually lost our car and are stalling. At least we have a loaner Lexus, which is must less fabulous, but will do for now. We really are lucky given that poor Skinny B has been carless for over a week and they can't even figure out what is wrong with her car.
4. Everything Gets Smaller As You Get Older
Or perhaps you get bigger. I'm not 100% sure which. I went up to Colleen & Terry's house in Fountain Valley which they are settling into as we speak. It was pretty much how I remembered it but seemed smaller. Especially the cul de sac. I remember the street being muuuch l o n g e r. I guess that is what happens in 26 years - things shrink.
5. Working On Fridays Sucks
Ooops. Knew that too.
6. Our Cats Are Not Phased Even Slightly By The Phone
Ok, I confess. I have tried calling the house to see if I can see them move on the webcam when the phone rings. They don't. But I did manage to prove just how pathetic I am. Yay me!
7. I Absolutely Have to Revamp This Website
Dana has posted in the past about how sick she gets of her site at times that she just HAS to redo it. Now I understand. I am at that point. I need to completely re-vamp, which I hope to work on this weekend. So keep your eyes peeled for great things.
That's about it for me. Hope everyone has a great weekend!
P.S. I think LG just moved!
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Wednesday, August 04, 2004
5:08 PM
Dana Mocks My Pain
Recent Moblog Pics From Dana.
But at least now you can all experience just how fabulous said glasses are and can more fully appreciate (a) why I absolutely had to buy them and (b) am extremely bummed that I managed to break one within minutes of having them out of the box.
I wonder if the glasses jumped into their cart too. . .
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Monday, August 02, 2004
1:12 PM
That Foul Temptress Costco
The problem is that Costco has sooo many fun things from computers and games, to a decent selection of wine, to books and kitchenwares. The kitchenwares were what got me this past weekend.
The good thing about Costco is that if you can resist the lure to buy whatever really cool item jumps into your cart on any given day, you are usually ok, because that item (if it was, in fact, really cool) will no doubt be gone the next time you shop there. Problem solved. The problems arise when the item is there time after time. Pleading to be bought. Mocking you. Again, you readers know exactly what I mean.
My latest tormenter was a set of glasses. Glasses for drinks that is (ones for vision would never be even remotely tempting). Like I need any more glassware. We have just about every type of glassware known to man - wine glasses (red, white and champagne), beer mugs, Irish coffee glasses, not to mention about 4 types of regular ol' water glasses. But there was a set at Costco of these very nifty footed glass cooler thingys (I note for the record that I also already have a set of footed coolers, but the Costco ones were taller and just different enough to tempt me). And I coveted those glasses. But reason prevailed. After all, I certainly didn't need them. So I escaped my first Costco run-in with the glasses. And I felt safe in the knowledge that the glasses would be gone soon, probably to much more needy homes than ours. In fact I escaped at least two more times. Every time I was drawn to the glasses. I looked at them. Picked one up. Imagined them in my kitchen. Pictured myself drinking iced tea from them. But I managed to overcome the urge three whole times.
The fourth trip did me in.
We went to Costco on Sunday and the glasses were still there. Mocking me. Begging to come home with me. Leaping into my cart and refusing to get out. And, after watching me covet the glasses so many times, Mark told me to just buy them already (what a great hubby). His justification was that because we break glasses it never hurts to buy more as we will need them at some point anyway (because, after all, I am a major klutz and I am supremely confident that we do not have a complete set of any glasses). What's better than a husband who more or less makes you buy something you want and then gives you what sounds like a perfectly reasonable and logical reason for doing so??
So I finally took the glasses home where they belong. And I carefully unpacked them all. Removed all the annoying tags on all eight glasses. Hand washed them all (dishwasher was full and I couldn't wait to use them). After washing them, I set them on a towel on the counter to drain before I dried them. I waited a few minutes and decided to start drying. I reached for a glass. And I have no idea how, but I managed to knock its neighbor right onto the floor. Seriously. I cannot believe what a clod I am. So I am back to square one with my incomplete sets of glasses. After weeks of torment, I now have seven beautiful footed coolers.
But I did use one yesterday afternoon for iced tea. And I really do think it tasted better than when I drink it out of a "regular" glass.
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Welcome Back!!
Work in Process
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Bananarama
Yes, We Have LOTS of Bananas!!
The Three Stooges
Thing You Can't Learn From Food TV
New Job, Day 22
