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Friday, January 21, 2005
8:07 AM

Ignorance is Bliss

We love where we live - the neighborhood, our house, our neighbors. It's a great location, great weather, all that and more. In an effort to be good little homeowners we have started attending meetings of the Homeowners' Association (and by we, I mean Mark). Big mistake. Now we know all sorts of things (weird, sad, disturbing, and downright scary) that we wish we didn't know. Trust, me, ignorance is bliss.

Weird:
None of our houses have addresses with the number 4 in them. No 4, 14, 24, etc. Period. Why, you ask?? Because apparently the number 4 is a big no-no in the world of Feng-Shui. Yes, Feng-Shui dictated our addresses. The builder wanted to make sure not to scare off any potential buyers, so all addresses are non-4 numbers. Let me say it again, our builder designed the entire scheme of street numbering based on principles of Feng-Shui!!!

We don't think there are any 13s either, but at least that makes sense!

Sad:
Right before you get to our houses, there is an assisted living facility. One of our neighbors near the front of our complex had an Alzheimer's patient wander into her house not knowing where he was. Very sad. Apparently a bit more assistance is needed in some cases.

Disturbing:
2-3 cars parked in driveways or on the street have been broken into. (Ok, one actually wasn't locked so the thief just opened the door and took her purse. Perhaps that's not hugely surprising. Not sure why she left her purse in an unlocked car overnight.) But it has happened to others (cars broken into, not purses stolen). One guy had a bunch of travelers checks stolen out of his car (but, again, you have to wonder why in the world he left them in his car.)

Downright scary:
One Friday evening, the woman who lives in the house closest to the entry to the complex was home with her young kids (hubby was at a sporting event). She was expecting friends, so had left the front door unlocked. She was upstairs and heard someone come in and start yelling. She looked down from the top of the stairs and saw a guy dressed only in a pair of pants (no shirt, shoes, etc.), who was covered in tatoos and, more importantly, blood, standing in her entry way. He insisted that she call his brother for him. She told him that if he left the house she would call (Good thinking on her part). He did and she did, but when she reached his brother, the brother said "Hang up and call 911. You might be in danger." (Like she hadn't already figured that out from the mostly unclothed, bloody stranger standing in her house). Bloody guy flees, which results in a several hour police search for him with helicopters and dogs. Ultimately they found him. He apparently has serious mental problems and had, immediately prior to coming into our neighborhood, tried to see his ex-girlfriend who works at the aforementioned assisted living facility.

Doesn't our neighborhood sound great? Again, we wish we didn't know. But there are some valuable lessons everyone can learn from:

1. Keep your house locked (duh)
2. Keep your car locked (duh again).
3. Keep your purse (and travelers checks) in the house.
5. Don't leave your wife at home alone to go to sporting events.
6. Try not to buy a home near an assisted living facility, especially if the employees have crazy ex-boyfriends who cut themselves (ok, that one is a bit esoteric, but still applicable).

Doesn't it sound great?? Come visit!

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