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Tuesday, March 29, 2005
9:43 AM

Kermis?

In preparation for our trek to Germany in May, we have been studying German. Trying to jog our memories and pry from the very far reaches of our brains all the stuff we both learned back in high school and college (at least we hope it is still rattling around in there somewhere). Naturally, being the computer addicted sorts that we are, we went out and bought one of those programs that allegedly will help you learn German. It has a whole series of exercises that you do from answering questions, learning vocab, etc. It's actually pretty good. We are both fabulously fluent now (not! or should I say Nicht!).

This past weekend Mark was using the program and was doing this exercise that is like a crossword puzzle. It gives you a series of clues in English and you are supposed to type in the German synonym for the word in the appropriate space. Pretty simple really. Or so we thought. Most of the time it gives you words you have come across earlier in the program. Piece of cake. But every now and then it comes at you way out of left field. Way way out. Like it did to Mark.

I'm doing laundry and I hear some not so happy sounds from the study. Seems that Mark was stumped on one of the clues. So he asked me jokingly: "How do you say "kermis" in German." Yes, kermis. That was the clue. In English. Actually it was:

fair; kermis (U.S.)

In other words, the word the program is looking for is the German version of a word that means "fair" or, for those of us in the U.S., "kermis". Kermis. Just keep looking at the word long enough and you'll start to laugh. Try saying it a few times just for giggles.

You know you are in trouble when you don't even know the English word.

Who in the world has ever heard of the word kermis?? (If you have, more power to you, you vocabulistic master!) So, as soon as we stopped laughing and wiped the tears from our eyes, I pulled out the handy dandy Oxford English dictionary (actually it isn't very handy as it weighs like a gazillion pounds, but this was a kermis emergency after all). But it was pretty dandy as, sure enough, "kermis" is in there. Means something like a carnival or festival. Then I ran the word on the internet. And virtually every website is in German! I'm still trying to figure out why the makers of this program thinks that "kermis" is a term specifically used in the U.S.

Does anyone care to guess what the German word for kermis is?? Come one, someone. Just shout it out. Yep, it's "kermis".

Notwithstanding the fact that I am now quite concerned about the makers of the German language program, I have to admit that neither Mark nor I will ever forget what "kermis" means so the program is a resounding success. And we intend to use the word kermis at least once a day on those unsuspecting Germans. They will rue the day they ever came up with such a silly word.

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