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Thursday, June 16, 2005
11:17 AM

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Bunnies But Were Afraid To Ask

1. Bunnies eat grass.
2. Left unchecked in a vegetable garden, Bunnies also eat lettuce seedlings (at least two different varieties). And carrot seedlings. And bean seedlings. And snow pea seedlings. Unfortunately, bunnies don't seem to eat weeds.
3. Bunnies can chew through bird netting. Many times. In many different places. Especially when the netting is protecting the aforementioned scrumptious vegetable seedlings.
4. Bunnies can chew through extremely think plastic mesh, even when you have expended much time and effort firmly attaching it to your fences and gates.
5. To the extent that they can't chew through plastic (or just get tired of all that chewing), they can squeeze through extremely small spaces. Extremely small.
6. Bunnies can dig. A lot.
7. Bunnies hide in your yard so that when you attach said thick plastic mesh to your fences and gates you end up fencing them into your yard instead of out. Or maybe it's just the two of us that this happens to.
8. Bunnies do not herd easily. At all. Even worse than cats.
9. Notwithstanding the size differential, when really scared, bunnies will charge at you.
10. There is no need to be ashamed if you are intimidated by a charging bunny, no matter how small and fuzzy the bunny. Anyone who has seen Monty Python's Holy Grail knows why.
11. Chicken wire is really the only effective way to fence out bunnies.
12. Chicken wire is a pain in the butt to work with and you will get scratched about a gazillion times by said wire before it is successfully attached to your fences and gates. Having rosebushes right next to the fence sure won't help either.
13. Left unchecked, bunnies will have babies in your yard.
14. Baby bunnies are very cute and once you find them, you will immediately worry that you have fenced the mother out of the yard while fencing the baby in, thereby preventing her from feeding the baby. Then the guilt sets in.
15. Removing chicken wire is nearly as difficult and painful as installing it. And seems to take about ten times longer than it should. To the extent you had any unscratched areas on your body after the first go around with the wire, those will be all scratched up in the removal process.
16. Once born in your yard, bunnies stay. And then they grow. And grow. And invite other bunnies over to hang out. Sometimes three friends at a time!
17. Bunnies also attract stray cats into your yard as well as lots of crows. Which cause you to constantly chase the invaders out of the yard waving your arms like a lunatic for the sake of the bunny's safety.
17. Things could get really bad in the Fabulous Yard if the bunny procreation continues (or if our neighbors see too much of the crazy arm waving).

In short, we have a new "pet". He's named Spot (because of a cute little white spot in the middle of his forehead). The only problem is that he is terrified of us (perhaps because of all of our fencing antics and the lunatic behavior which protects him - I'm sure he just doesn't know all we do for him!). But the cats love to watch him. And he is very very cute. Let's just hope he/she is sterile.

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