Q: What is a Jury?
A: 12 people who aren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
To most, jury duty is at best a huge inconvenience, at worst, a loss of income for a indeterminate period of time. Not many really want to perform their civic duty to serve on a jury, but should they ever find themselves on trial, I'm sure they'd want the best and brightest sitting in the jurors' box, not 12 people who don't want to be there, but aren't smart enough to find a way out.
No one really thinks about who they would want to have as jurors should they ever be on trial. While I've never been on trial, personally I'd prefer informed jurors that want to be there than apathetic ignorants ruling on the direction the court will send my life. To that end I've created this list to help those who don't want to be on a jury to get out of it.
There are legitimate excuses you can use to get out of juror duty, but there are also certain methods you can employ that will make you an undesirable juror to the lawyers of each side. If your excuse sounds like a ploy to get out of jury duty, the judge may make you serve anyway.
Each lawyer gets "challenges" where they can request the removal of potential jurors. The lawyers want sheep that they can direct with their impassioned speeches. If you aren't a sheep, they don't want you. Here are 10 methods that can help you get "challenged."
- Educate yourself. Lawyers don't like informed jurors who know about such important things as jury nullification.
- Dress down. If you come in to jury duty looking like a slob, most lawyers will want you removed. If you appear to be an individualist (wear a beard, have multiple piercings, etc.) they'll be happy to show you the door.
- Wear political clothing. Shirts that proclaim a specific freedom, like the right to bear arms, show you have a predetermined mindset, and will be hard to direct.
- Tell the truth. In many cases the judge will ask if you can render a fair verdict on the case at hand. Since you are opposed to being there in the first place and resent the defendent for causing this ruckus, you really can't give a fair verdict.
- Become friends with a police officer. Most lawyers don't want police officers or their friends on a jury because they are typically prejudiced.
- Become friends with a lawyer. Attorneys don't want someone who is even partially famililar with the law, so if you count a lawyer in your circle of friends they'll be afraid of your prior exposure to the system.
- Explain to the judge that if either lawyer tries to limit or restrict any evidence from being presented, you will be unable to remain objective since it is obvious they are trying to hide the truth.
- Play stupid. Ask all sorts of annoying, yet simple, questions.
- Become a volunteer firefighter or emergency medical response team member. This will typically get you excused before even having to go before the judge.
- Create a website titled "How to Get Out of Jury Duty." I've not been called to serve since I posted this site.
Get yourself a copy of the Citizens Rule Book from the American Patriot Friends Network. If you ever do have to serve as a juror, or are charged in court, it is smart to know what your actual rights are.
