Tuesday, April 14, 1992
4:00 PM

Last night I decided to go to the center alone to see the Semana Santa processions. I ran into Joop, Katherine and others from Miramar. We wandered around for a while, then went to a few bars. Several, actually. A few discos, too. Then to Salsa and finally Havana. I had been ready to go home at 2:00, but we didn't. Katherine knew the bartender, Estefan, at Havana, so he gave us free drinks! Then it started to pick up, so we danced and danced - until 7:00. Then we went out for chocolate y churros. It was really quite fun! I stopped by Gitte and Barbara's as they were leaving for school at 8:30 am. I love when I have unexpected adventures like that! I met several new people, too. Yea! I'm thinking of going again tonight. Coming home early, of course. Actually, I can't afford to drink every night. I do enjoy partying with Joop, though. I saw Dave and Gitta Sunday night. They're such nice people. I hope things work out for them.

Tuesday, April 21, 1992
10:45 PM

Tengo un trabajo!! Estoy tan exitado! No puedo creerlo. I talked to the second socio of this new video production company. He speaks English - yea! He's German. They already have all this work lined up. Weddings, First Communions. Starting May 1st! We didn't talk sueldo yet because he wants all three partners to be there. But he said he hasn't found anyone else with video experience. Cha-Ching! They need me! I don't know how many hours I'll be working, either, but he sounded like they have a lot of work already waiting. It will be perfect. So this means I'm not going to Detroit next week. Maybe at the end of June. Again, things change so quickly! Talk about flexibility! Shit! My life is a dream - come true! I kept thinking that I need to be cautious. Don't be too excited yet. But now, si! How much money I can make is the remaining question. But, of course, there are possibilities at Alhambra todavia. Yo puedo trabajar dos trabajos. Hay tantas posibilidades! Now Joop can move in here, too. Life is a peach.

Saturday, April 25, 1992
1:15 PM

Sevilla - una maravilla. Jane and I (a friend from Michigan) had a riot in Sevilla at the Expo. It was so fantastic! So many things to do, places to see, cultures to learn about. What a shame we had only one day. Bob and I will have to go back for at least 2 days. So many fantastic multi-media presentations, too. Now I'm thinking I should have tried to get a job there. It would have been an incredible six months! I'll have to be content to visit several times. We stayed out fairly late Wednesday night at a cafe near the cathedral - my favorite spot in Sevilla. Then Thursday was Expo. We spent 12 hours at the pavilions, but only saw a few - Australia, France, Japan, Saudi Arabia, Hungary, Spain, Valencia and Telecommunications. At night, we met Bek and partied at the Kangaroo Pub - lot of fun. Jane slam-dancing with shopping bags in hand. On Friday we came to Malaga and spent the day along the beach front, meeting many of my friends I do have here. Never did find Joop, though. Last night, Jane was sick, so I didn't get to show her my town. Oh well. We had a pretty good time together, nonetheless. I hope she hooked up with her tour in Granada all right. I love visitors, but I hate to see them leave. That's hard. I need to get Bob to seriously think about moving here. I was supposed to see Mitchell yesterday, but couldn't get ahold of him. Frustrating delays again. I'll call him today. And Maria Jose. I need to get together with her, too. I really need Joop to move in here. I get so lonely by myself, even if it's not for long. I got the greatest letter from Dianne. She talked about living life as a frolicking otter. She is so fun. I love my friends.

Friday, May 1, 1992
10:30 PM

Work went well today. It was exhausting. It felt good. We did three Communions. Pretty boring, really, but it all seemed to come out well. You know, if Mitchell didn't speak English, I'd be totally lost. As it is, I don't understand most of what Bernardo says. Very frustrating. But am I studying? Am I speaking with Spanish friends or neighbors? Of course not. I came home and slept for 4 hours this afternoon. I'm staying in tonight. I have to be up at 7:15 tomorrow. Only 2 Communions, though. I'm making money in Spain! A great day! I'm frustrated again by lack of information. There were riots in Los Angeles, a matador was killed in the Feria de Sevilla. I'm buying a television when I come back in July.

Sunday, May 3, 1992
2:15 PM

I had a really nice time last night. Gitte came over and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner. I had wanted to - but I thought that she and Barbara were gone, so I hadn't asked. We went to La Paloma. It had been almost a month! We got pretty drunk. Then we went to Donde. I met several new people. Guys from Switzerland, Sweden and Holland. I love to meet interesting people! We danced quite a bit, too. Went to Bar Mesalina for a while, too. Before I knew it, it was 5 AM! And I had to be up at 7:15!! Oh well. It wasn't so bad today - only one First Communion. I feel so good to be working again. I played with the editor a bit today, and will do more tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to it. It's pretty nice equipment. Mitchell is so nice to me. He's been picking me up and dropping me off every day. He gave me the keys, so I can go in any time tomorrow! I love it! Y'know, Gitte and I talked last night about how everyone else around us is having sex. She's like me in that she's not getting involved with anyone here. Well, she doesn't want to. I just haven't had the opportunity! It made me realize (again) that I shouldn't get freaked out about these things.

Thursday, May 7, 1992
8:30 PM

Allow me to whine a bit. I'm enjoying going into work every day, although I am getting a bit tired of the Communions and I'd rather be lazy and stay in bed or go to the beach. I'm frustrated by not understanding the language better. I keep getting phone calls at work and I can't understand what people are saying! I start to think that I should give up on the dream. But then I listen to the "Chariots of Fire" soundtrack and I get inspired. And I meet someone new - in this case a Scottish friend of French Frank's - and I bounce back again. I did really well with money in April. Only spent $800, including $100 at Expo. Gives me hope. May will be at least $1500, I'm sure, with Bob visiting and $400 rent. But I've earned almost $400 this past week. Cool! I hope Mitchell will pay me more than $10/hour for editing. We had talked of $20/hour, but I don't think he'll go for that much. At $15/hour it would be almost $500. Still nothing settled. Always up in the air. Always something to whine about. Like the lack of permanent friends here. I get so worried about the future! Can't I just enjoy the present? I booked my flight home. I'll be there June 17th. I wish I could've been back before school's out, but it's not possible. I need to find a place to live for July. And beyond. I haven't seen Joop or the Dutch girls in a while. I need to write Andre. It'll be nice having a phone (at work.) People can call me! I have a TV now - everything's green, but I watched ABC News yesterday. Civilization! I think I need to work hard and earn a lot of money and then travel for a year. Yes! It must be done! It's truly what I enjoy. Oh! Yesterday, Mitchell told me about his idea of producing promo videos for travel agencies. Exactly my idea! And he has a friend in the business who wants to do it. Yes, I think I need to stay with this job. Just get through the bumpy times. Write down your thoughts and it will become clearer. This is where you belong right now.

Saturday, May 9,1992
4:00 PM

Gitte's gone. Another one bites the dust. One by one. Alton and Sune are gone in 2 weeks, Barbara in 3, Antonella in four. A friend of a friend of Elke's going to stay here for 10 days. And I've talked to a few other people who will need a place beginning in July. In a way, I'd like to live alone, but I think I need someone else to do things with once in a while. Otherwise, it could be a long, boring summer. I continue to work every day, and work is still piling up. I think I'll try to work 6 hours/day the next two weeks. Already making plans to spend the money. I was frustrated at the church again this morning because I can't speak the language. I got a letter from Barb in Michigan. Everyone who writes is usually complaining about something. Then I guess it's okay for me to whine, too. Hang in there. The future looks brilliant!

Sunday, May 10, 1992
9:30 PM

It was really hard to get up for work this morning. I only stayed out until 2:30. I went to Bar Mesalina with French Frank. We talked quite a bit. He's a nice guy. I talked more with his Scottish house guest, George, too. But I'm still feeling that I don't have many friends. Annelies came over this evening. Mitchell said he'd ask a real estate friend if he can find an apartment for me. Cool. We have a lot of work to do in the next two weeks. I'll work at least 6 hours/day. Money! Whoever says it's not important ... lies! I talked more Spanish today with Daniel, the guy who's helping us videotape. It's still frustrating not knowing Spanish better. But I'm looking forward to work this week. I think the next 5 weeks will fly by. I'll be very busy working, then Bob will be here. Then I'll be in Detroit! Yea! Then I'll come back to a permanent job and apartment. Rosy.

Thursday, June 11, 1992
1:00 AM

I went to see Los Reyes del Mambo with Elisabeth. She took me on her motorcycle. It was fun. Maybe I should buy one! Andrés and Bernardo came in to talk to me today. They said they have had a lot of complaints about the communions. But they want me to "take over the business." They want me to do everything. Hire people, tell them what to do. Arrange jobs. Edit. Basically, they want to be the Board of Directors with little involvement. And they want me to be in charge of production. I told them I'm a little concerned with my lack of Spanish, but they said not to worry. I think I'll be more nervous when I return to Spain in July than when I came the first time! I really don't want this to turn into a high-pressure job! But I feel pressure already. They want creativity! They have a contract pending with the department store, El Corte Inglés. Pretty major stuff. They want me to be in charge of buying new equipment, too. Ay, yi, yi! This could really be something BIG! Life is SO FUNNY! I just wanted to come to Spain to lay on the beach! I could've stayed until May, not finding a job, and gone back to the States. But no! I had to fall into an incredible opportunity!

Saturday, June 13, 1992
10:30 PM

I met with this new partner today. He seems really cool. We've been having a lot of meetings lately without Mitchell. I wonder what's going on. I keep thinking they're going to give me the boot or something, but they still are very high on me. I just want to get beyond the Communions! I feel better after talking with this guy today. (I don't even know his name. Herbert or something.)

Monday, June 15, 1992
11:30 PM

Spending my last night in my home of the past four months. Feeling a bit melancholy. A lot of good times were had here. It seems so long ago.... Practicing Sevillanas in the living room, getting philosophical on the terrace. But, God knows, I'm ready to get out of España for a while. Matt called and I told him how much I was looking forward to coming home. And how fed up I've been with the job. I can't believe how much I've been working. And the weather's been shitty. And I'm sick of speaking Spanish! I was talking to Mitchell this evening. He said he hopes I return. I said of course I will, but I need to get out for a while. We talked about how hard it is to leave friends and family. He convinced me to wait until 9:00 to pick up my check. Then I was supposed to meet Andrés at a private club. They let me in with my ripped jeans and camouflage backpack and I waited 20 minutes. Then I left. I hate Spaniards sometimes! Mañana, mañana. It really didn't matter because I wasn't going to cash the check now anyway. It will be nice to have money when I return. So, tomorrow I go. I wish I didn't have to spend the night in London. I haven't been able to get ahold of Keith, either. Oh well. We'll see what happens. Another adventure awaits.

Monday, July 13, 1992
10:50 PM

God, I love it here. And I hate it here. I'm sitting on the terrace. Under the full moon. The lights of the city and the mountain towns in the distance to my right. Drinking a beer. Eating dinner. I stopped several times along the beach on my ride home tonight. Incredible, the beauty here. The colors. I wished I had had my camera, but why? It could never be captured in a picture. The mountains, the sea, the moonlight, the sunset. Indescribable, really. But what am I thinking now? Of leaving. Of how I could transport all my stuff back to the States in November. Of how disappointed Jenny would be. Herbert and I went out for a beer after work today. He told me I can't expect to earn what Mitchell told me I would. I should be lucky to make $800/month. Yes, I could live on that, but my balloon was burst. All the fantasies I had of "making it big." I guess it's not all for naught. There are still many positives. I guess what hurts is that Mitchell's not being honest with me. I suppose I can't get attached to people. He helped me out. But now, it looks like he's out of the picture. Cast him aside. Take up with the winners. Herbert is a winner. I do like his no-nonsense style. He knows how to work with people, and how to work with the system. So, now I don't know what to think. On the one hand, I'm deeply disappointed. But still, things are so much better than I had envisioned before coming here. They still want me to work there. So it might be hard work, long hours and little pay. But what the hell did I expect here in España? So chin up, mate! You don't have to retreat in November. You can stay here, making decent money if you want. If you're willing to work for it! That's just it. I so wanted it all to just happen to me. I don't want to work! I want the dream to be real!

Change subject. I loved it when I went to Torremolinos yesterday. They got new trains on the Málaga-Fuengirola run. So touristy. LED message boards that display the time, temperature and upcoming station (although it's often wrong - Spain!) in Spanish and English. Vivaldi playing on the speakers! Tinted windows! Too funny. Not at all as I remember. I do love Torremolinos. The way I love Las Vegas. So much going on. Something for everyone!

Tuesday, July 14, 1992
11:00 PM

I'm still feeling very confused about the job and all. Still haven't gotten my check. ¡Mañana! Yeah, yeah. Maybe I should still look into freelance opportunities. Somewhere I can make some real money. Maybe further down the costa. Of course, now would be the time. Tourist season. Vamos a ver. I just want things to keep falling into my lap. I didn't work this afternoon. Nothing to do! So I went to the beach instead. That would be the life. Working from 9 - 2:30. Or perhaps 3 - 9 PM. I am getting used to taking a siesta in the afternoon. It's going in to work twice a day that I don't like. Oh, I found out that basically, Mitchell and Andrés are out. Great. Maybe Mitchell and I could start a side business. There's still teaching English. Ingra, one of the Dutch girls, is teaching English! That should be easy enough. Time to diversify. I miss Annelies. She's in Holland for three weeks. I've been extremely anti-social lately. Not doing nothing with no one. I took a bike ride around town tonight. Into some really nice areas - Miramar and Limonar. Looked like Beverly Hills. I rode along the beach and saw the moon rise over the sea. How romantic. How lonely.