State of the Site Report, May 7, 2006:Where the hell have I been, you ask? None of your beeswax, I reply.

... Okay, okay. I have this amazing idea for a Web site redesign. I've been working on it off and on since even before my last update. Seriously, you guys are gonna plotz (in a good way). I wanted to get that new design up and out there before I resumed updating this site with whatever the heck it is I usually type here. Canning recipes or something. I forget.

Of course, the best laid plans of mice and men often prevent you from getting Web sites finished in a timely manner. To be honest, the jay-oh-bee has a siphon attached directly to my enthusiasm-for-Web-stuff glands, so when I come home all I want to do is crack open some sitcoms and drool gently on the upholstery. New Web design? Oh yeah yeah I'll get to that not much left won't take any time to finish up. placating hand gestures

Three-hundred-odd days of hand gestures later, here we are. I really don't have much left to go on that Web design (honest!) but you'll just have to bear with me. I'm easily distracted and none too bright. You know, a typical webizen.

Um. Not like you guys, of course. You guys are cool.

Anyway, new site's a-comin' one of these days. It's based on a blogging engine but it's not a blog ... exactly. No more than this page is a blog. Well, maybe a little more. Aww, just wait until you see it, okay?

Here's my Web site as it stands now (as if you care):

• This page, newly updated whenever I do anything (like now!)
• An intro and four chapters of 2100: The New World
• Same old Mortal Konquest Tournament Edition RPG pages
• A single lonely solitary Sporks cartoon
• One Off Center humor column
• What little is left of the System DL RPG apocrypha
• ... and Links! Though I prefer Mario Golf.

All right, enough about the site already: My particulars, you ask? Well, I'm a 40-year-old graphic designer / Web developer / writer / artist / game designer hybrid. Not necessarily in that order. On August 1, 1998, I took the biggest step in my life and married a wonderful high school band director named Donna, who is of course the most wonderful woman ever to stride the face of the planet.

I have a degree in English, which should explain how I can talk so frickin' much without saying anything. Somehow, I've managed to parley that ivory-tower, artsy-fartsy degree into a name for myself in the high-paying field of Web design. I've been a professional w3b d00d since 1995, but before that I was a scriptwriter for an advertising agency, a news tracker, a newspaper editor, a library step'n'fetch, a peon, a serf, a scion, the world's largest manufacturer of men's briefs, the groove that makes your booty move, and a man trapped on an orbiting satellite by mad scientists and forced to watch bad movies with my robot pals. ("I guess the director forgot to have anything happen in this movie!") I also have a slight tendency to exaggerate.