Every time we are reminded what a difference we make in someone's life, our soul is affirmed as a unique creation of God.

WHAT ABOUT ME?!

I Have Called You Each By Name

    "Mom…. MOM!" she yelled from her bed as loud as her little voice could. "Mom. Come here! What about me?I"
    I walked to the door of Rebekah's room and looked at her with my best "mom" look, the kind that says, "Don't mess with me, I'm mom." But it wasn't working tonight. She looked at me with pleading eyes and tried her best not to sound whiny, no doubt because she knows I hate whining.
    You didn't JUST sing THEM a song . . . you guys were talking for a l-o-n-g time. . . what about ME?!" her bottom lip went out. "I like to talk to you, too."
     My middle daughter was 3 years old, the age of reasons, the age of "why?" It was the age of multiple personalities, at one moment yelling in exasperation, "I want to do it myself!" and two minutes later demanding to be cuddled because, 'Tm still little, you know."
     I looked at Rebekah and said, this time in my best please-I-am-your-tired-mom-and-I-need-a-break voice: "Rebekah Elizabeth, I love you. I like to talk to you, too. But it's bedtime, and you need to go to sleep."
     Later that night, I walked back into Rebekah's room and looked at my beautiful daughter as she slept. I reached down and touched her hand, softly gliding my index finger from the tip of her pinky through every finger. I held her hand in mine, noticing the small little toddler dimples still there and how small her hand was.
     Somewhere in there, in between battles over personal rights and demands for help, this little person is just like me. And although her middle-child cry - "What about me?!" - has become somewhat of a family jest over the years, I am aware that her need to be affirmed as an individual, to be reminded how unique she really is, is a true necessity for each of us. "I have called you by name: you are mine," declared the Lord through the prophet Isaiah (see 43: 1). "See, upon the palms of my hands I have written your name" (49:16).
     Every time we are reminded what a difference we make in someone's life, our soul is affirmed as a unique creation of God. Yet I must confess that I often hold back from offering a compliment or even refrain from giving personal praise because I don't want to take the time or I'm afraid that I may seem silly.
     This is only made more difficult at home in the midst of bedtime routines and daily family demands. How often do my own children hear me callout their name in love through the words I speak? To help me remember, I keep posted on my bathroom mirror an ongoing list of phrases, of words of encouragement, that I now share with you as a starter for your own list:

• I believe you can do it.
• I really like the way you handled that.
• You're a good example to your brother/sister.
• You are so much fun to be around.
• I believe in you.
• You know, I really like you!
• I appreciate the way you help your sister/brother!
• We are proud of you.
• You're really improving!
• Don't worry about it. Just do the best you can.
• We trust you.
• I love you for who you are, not what you do.
• I'm so thankful you're my son (or daughter).

    Remember, be honest! Our children are perceptive enough to know hollow praise from the real thing. And never assume your children (or your spouse!) are too old to hear these words.