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Top:
the person participating in a short term scene who for the duration of the
scene assumes control of the bottom and takes the active role in the scene
such as flogging, administering hot wax to the bottom, fisting him/her or
fucking him/her -- the giver.
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bottom:
person participating in a short term scene who for the duration is the
recipient of negotiated activities such as being flogged, having hot wax
administered, being fisted or fucked -- the recipient.
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Dominant:
the person who accepts control from and of and takes responsibility for
another person, the submissive; (s)he maintains that power and control for
the agreed upon duration. The Dominant (Dom) has an innate desire to lead
and may take the role of Master, Mistress, Daddy. Or Mommy, and usually
takes the Top role sexually and/or in SM play.
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submissive:
the person who voluntarily surrenders control of themselves to another
person, the Dominant, and trusts that person for their care and being
during an agreed upon duration. The submissive (sub) is the follower with
an innate desire to serve and may take the role of slave, boy, girl or
even dog or pig and usually takes the bottom role sexually and/or in SM
play.
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Sadist:
is the person who likes to consensually deliver pain and sensations to
another in many varying ways from physical to mental. Their enjoyment is
derived from the recipient’s positive or even negative reactions to the
sensations delivered.
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masochist:
is the person who consensually receives pain and sensations, and their
enjoyment and turn on is in receiving and processing the various
sensations delivered.
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Play:
a term used to refer to the activities that take place between consenting
individuals and may encompass SM or sex or SM/sex.
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Scene:
a scene is a short term activity of negotiated play between two or more
individuals usually based around some form of SM play
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Negotiations:
the interaction between individuals to determine agreed upon activities
and may take place to set a scene or play session or for longer periods of
time such as for events or weekends or months or years. Each party
involved begins on equal grounds and lays out for discussion any and all
items to include or exclude for consideration and agreement .
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Limits:
the activities or place an individual has determined that they are not
willing to do, have done or to go beyond. The physical or mental
conditions that have been set as a stopping point for the pre-agreed upon
activities taking place in life, SM play and/or sexual play.
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24/7:
is a reference to a relationship being usually a live-in or live together
relationship.
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Safe Words:
is a pre-agreed to word or phrase to be used when a scene or play needs to
either slow down, i.e. yellow or needs to stop, i.e. red. It is usually
not recommended to use no, stop or
don’t as these terms are often part of the scene or play and
add to the titillation of all parties involved.
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Time-out:
similar to a safe word, but usually used as part of the dialogue process
in an extended scene or relationship, and means the role play ends
temporarily while parties involved can clarify actions or problems, let
actions and/or emotions cool down, and often a time to open up
negotiations again.
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Protocol:
The rules
or standards of behavior around which an activity such as
Dominant/submissive interchanges take place. Etiquette in behavior toward
others from the simple interchange between two subs or two Doms to
individual rules a Dom may set down for his/her sub to expected behavior
of one toward others from individual behavior to group behavior
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Collar:
A collar
may consist of something as simple as a necklace (maybe with a small
decorative padlock) to a lock and chain to leather locked in place with a
padlock. The Collar is the property of the Dom and when worn by another
person indicates that person has consented to submitting him(her)self to
the owner of the Collar. Uncommitted/unowned submissives should not wear a
Collar. No one except the Owner and the submissive (if allowed) should
touch a Collar worn by another.
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Collaring:
The Act
of a Dominant marking His/Her property - the submissive. Usually this
includes some form of agreement between the involved parties that may be
as informal as a discussion or as complicated as a (14 page) contract
signed by those involved and witnessed by others. It may be a private act
or a formal ceremony
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Presenting of the submissive:
A form of
introduction of a submissive to others. Traditionally a submissive is not
recognized by others until his/her Dominant as
presented them or recognized
them allowing others to meet and possibly interact with the submissive.
This can take many forms from the very informal nod and handshake to the
more formal kneeling of the submissive when introduced.
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Boot Service or Worship:
In the D/s realm two aspects come into play. It can be a method by which
the submissive shows his/her appreciation and/or a way of saying thank you
to a Dom. It can also be an integral part of the presenting of a
submissive by one Dom to another Dom - a gift - showing respect for rank
or position in the community. Male to male it usually consists of licking
the boot or boots of the Dom by the submissive; if the Dom is a female and
wearing pumps instead of boots it may be as simple as a kiss rather than a
licking.
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Earning one's Leathers:
the
concept that leathers being part of a leatherman's uniform are to be
earned just as a soldier earns stripes, decorations and even promotions
that include upgrades in uniform. With many Dom's today not having worked
their way to their Dom-ness (and, thus, earning their leathers) as many
did in the Old Guard days, some have chosen certain symbols or leather
items that they feel they should earn and be given before having or
wearing them. The MC Trooper hat or Master's Hat, an all leather
hard-brimmed hat similar to the dress hats of officers in the military, is
an example of one of these leather items. Per history for many in the Old
Guard the title of Master was earned after months or years at being
trained possibly in certain play aspects or in learned skills of
Dominating and directing submissives. More prevalent today is the concept
of the submissive earning his/her leathers. This may include undertaking
and carrying out aspects of community service or learning skills and
techniques that will improve his service. An example would be earning
one's boots upon successfully (in the eyes of his Sir) learning proper
boot blacking and possibly keeping his Sir's boots cared for a specific
period of time.
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Being in Service to … or being under collar to …:
these two terms indicate
very similar concepts. A submissive can be in service to a Dom without
being under Collar to them. The submissive is committed for whatever
reason or agreement to serve a specific Dom or Doms. he/she is at their
beck and call fulfilling their every need as though he/she were serving
their own Dom. When a sub is under
Collar (see Collar/Collaring above) they are
in service to the Owner of the
Collar they are wearing. Being in
service means the sub is fulfilling the needs, wants or desires
of a Dom or Doms
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