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THE LEATHER
SUBMISSIVE
boy
EXCERPTS #1 & #2 FROM "HEY boy!" ARTICLE BY
DEAN WALRADT
first published in NLA: Houston's
CHAINLINK newsletter, 1995
& then in INTERNATIONAL LEATHERMAN
magazine, issue #13, 1997)
EXCERPT #3 from "Ties That Bind" by Guy Baldwin, noted leather man, activist, psychologist, author & Old Guard Forefather

 

boy is a term first used in the gay leather/SM community to identify generally a male who had the innate desire to serve another man while submitting to Him physically, emotionally, sexually and considering that Man as his Master. As with many practices of the leather/SM communities as the doors have opened and the general make-up of that community has expanded, time has modified the meanings of the word boy. It is no longer necessarily gender specific as some female submissives have proudly taken up the role of boy, but most of the qualities that composed the early boys still apply: masculine in behavior and appearance while serving and submitting to another known as Master, Daddy or Mistress.

 

EXCERPT I:

Yes, there are rules and regulations in nearly every aspect of life, and if there weren't rules and regulations leave it to man or woman to make some up. Some are often fickle or mundane while others may be cutting edge. As a society there are social rules, laws, regulations. These range from traffic safety to rules of etiquette, to just plain basic manners. Rules help all of us function or have the intent to help us function successfully without hurting others.

Following are what I like to call leather sense, protocols which help all of us in the leather community intermix, socialize, pursue and function with each other. Some are written in stone while others are individually geared to the moment, the individuals and/or the region or country.

Many I learned working Saturday nights two and half years in a leather shop in a leather bar. This experience brought an intermixing of leather people from near and far. I learned that there are often variances from state to state and region to region. Whether we like it or not local and state laws often dictate typical mores within the leather community. The often thought of common practice of going to leather bars or events in chaps and jock, bare-ass, is often against laws in certain cities and/or states. And in some regions of the country where the practice is allowed Tops would never be in public at a bar bare-assed; only submissives would be out in that manner, while in other regions either Tops or bottoms may be out bare-assed. Thus, it never hurts when traveling to check and be familiar with local laws and local customs -- its never fun to be giving the wrong signals in the pokey or in a hot crowd of horny leathermen!



Following are three die-hard protocols I learned early and that are generally accepted practices in the leather community, Old and New guard:

First, be clean outside and inside, always be prepared! Shower frequently, and generally be deodorant and cologne free. For work necessities there are scent free deodorants available. The preference for the natural scent of a hot, sweaty man in or out of his leathers comes to us from the Old Guard. Colognes and deodorants mask the natural and what most leathermen consider erotic smells of his body and his leather hides. And what follows after the nose -- the tongue (at least mine does!). Nothing can turn ones stomach faster than a tongue coated with Right Guard or Calvin Klein's One.


Second, don't touch another individual. Don't tweak nipples, slap an ass, bare or otherwise, fondle a basket or jock pouch or caress the leather or muscles of someone you don't know or are passing in a crowd. It's non-consensual. Included in this topic is touching another's hat, especially the more formal motorcycleTrooper cap that should only be worn by Tops. Old Guard protocol even considered it inappropriate for the wearer to touch or remove the hat by the polished brim.


And, third, know and adhere to the New Guard credo of Safe, Sane and Consensual. Practice SAFEr sex and SM. Play SANEly, free of drugs and alcohol and clear of mind. Make sure all parties are CONSENSUALly involved in all activities taking place.

EXCERPT II:

PROTOCOLS FOR THE boy

1] Wear your keys and hankies on the right -- flag correctly and consistently or don't flag at all.

2] Are you into being dominated, a boy looking for a Daddy, a slave looking for a Master? Don't wear a collar or a lock and chain -- these indicate you are already taken. The Protocol is the Dom marks His/Her property with the lock/chain or collar, and that lock/chain or collar belongs to the Dom and is returned to Him/Her at His/Her demand or the end of the relationship.

3] If you're going to wear a cap it should preferably be a baseball cap, black or black leather. And wear it brim forward.

4] If you aren't wearing jean cut-offs, leather shorts are appropriate, but remember only black combat boots or black lace up work boots with shorts, never cowboy or roper type boots.

5] Never ever wear tennis shoes with leather anything.

6] T-shirts, sleeveless t's or tank tops work for outer wear, but avoid colors stay with black, white or red and stay with plain or leather bar/event logo shirts.

7] And once in the bar or an event don't wear a shirt over a harness.

8] Wearing a jacket, leather or levi over a bare chest or a harness is okay if it is worn correctly -- don't let it hang or droop off one shoulder. If you do you're in the wrong bar, girrrrrrlfriend!

9] New or worn black or blue jeans are regulation with or without chaps.

10] Chaps -- bare-assed or with jeans should fit as designed.

11] Never, ever wear underwear! Don't! If something must be worn under jeans or shorts wear a jock, athletic or leather. No, NOT a thong or bikini underwear either.

12] Shave your head or wear your hair in a military or buzz cut. If those are too extreme for you then the very least would be a haircut of moderate length - often described as military acceptable.

REMEMBER: these are my protocols. Each Dom may have different or additional or none of these, but these covered are generally accepted as a standard from which to operate from.

 

So what is a leather submissive boy?

he is a man with the predisposition or desire to serve another - a Dominate. That service may entail anything from keeping & maintaining the Dominate's home, to finances to SM and/or sexual service. That submissive might have what could be referred to as an undescribable desire (or need) to serve another.
The submissive leather boy has in some shape or form given or desires to consensually give control of some, many or even all aspects of his life to a Dominate - someone who will consensually take that control and make and act in the best interest of that submissive boy.
The boy can be and usually is a dedicated bottom SM & sexually, but this is not a prerequisite either.
The Dominate in the case of a boy-type relationship often is a care-giver, mentor or even sometimes a lover. That care-giving may include guidance to and assistance in educational or employment/career opportunities as well as in the leather/SM world.
There are even levels of submissiveness that often cross-over in substance and style. Keeping that break-down simple categories may fall something like this: Daddy (or Master)/boy, Master/slave, Master/pet (such as dog or pig). Each Dominate may develop His submissive in a variety of ways and to a variety of task - that is His/Her prerogative. The main common ingredient in the Dominate/submissive relationship is some or many aspects of POWER EXCHANGE between consenting adults. There may be two or three or more; there are no limits as long as all agree, all are consensual in what they are doing and how they act.


Much of what we who are working to rekindle and build new interest in the Dominant/submissive lifestyle have drawn their knowledge from the experiences of Old Guard survivors and authorities. Following is an excerpt (reprinted with permission) from Guy Baldwin's "Ties That Bind," published by Daedalus Publishing Co.

EXCERPT #3:


"So, what exactly were the (unspoken) "Old Guard" rules? Here are a few of the more important ones that had come into force by 1970. About Attire:

  • Always wear boots, butch ones, and preferably black. *
  • Always wear a wide leather belt - plain, not fancy.
  • Never mix brown leather with black leather. *
  • Never mix chrome or silver trim with gold or brass trim. *
  • Long pants only, Levis or leather, and no shorts.
  • Chaps indicate more commitment than levis, and leather pants indicate more commitment than chaps, especially when worn consistently.
  • Leather jackets must have epaulets (bike riders excepted). *
  • Head gear is reserved for Tops or experienced or heavy bottoms only.
  • Bottoms may not own collars unless a particular Top has allowed that bottom to be the custodian of the Top's collar. *
  • A bottom wearing a collar is a slave, and belongs to the owner of the collar who, presumably, has the keys. *
  • Other Tops are not to engage a collared bottom in conversation, but other bottoms may do so. *
  • Should such a relationship end, the collar must be returned to the Top. *
  • Never touch the bill of a bike cap, including your own. *
  • Never touch another man's, cap (or head gear) unless you are very intimate friends or lovers. *
  • Keep studs and other decorations to a tasteful minimum unless they happen to be club insignia.
  • Never wear another man's leather unless he puts it on you. *
  • Leather other than boots and belt must be "earned" through the achievement of successively challenging scenes.
  • Wearing gloves is reserved for heavy players, glove fetishists or bike riders.
  • Always indicate S/M preference, only with keys left for Top, or right for bottom. *
  • If you are cruising seriously, wear the keys out; if not seriously, tuck them in a back pocket.
  • Always indicate strictly leather sex or "rough sex" interest by wearing no keys at all.
  • Those who "switch" are second class players and not to be taken as seriously because they haven't made their minds up.
  • If you must switch, do so in another town.
  • "Full" leather is reserved for after 10:00 P.M. only and only with "our own kind". Respect the public by wearing less of it during the day.
  • Don't frighten old ladies, or anyone else for that matter. *
  • About Socializing & Cruising:
  • Experience in the scene determines social seniority (Top or bottom), not age, not size, not amount of leather worn, and not offices held in organizations, awards received or titles won. *
  • Tops and experienced bottoms should be accorded higher respect and deference unless and until they behave rudely - all are expected to observe rules of social courtesy - bad manners are inexcusable and can lower one's status in the scene (thereby reducing access to the Knowledgeable People for information or play). *

 

  • Real leathermen keep their word. *
  • They do not borrow or lend money.
  • They conduct their affairs with honor and integrity. *
  • They don't lie. *
  • Preliminary social contact should be on the formal side. *
  • "Senior Persons" (Top or bottom) are not to be interrupted when in conversation. *
  • Experience being equal, Tops lead the conversation, Junior Tops defer to Senior Tops and Senior bottoms in social situations. Junior bottoms defer to all others in the scene but not to outsiders. *
  • When walking together, bottoms walk half-a-step behind and to the left of Tops with whom they are involved or playing. *
  • It is up to the Top or the experienced bottom to extend a hand to invite a handshake. (All touching is highly restricted during initial contact between strangers.) *
  • Never over-indulge in drugs or alcohol in public, or otherwise attract scornful attention to one's self - to do so brings dishonor on the men in the scene. *
  • Tops should always have the first two opportunities to make verbal or physical contact.
  • The more submissive one is, the less direct eye contact one makes - glance frequently at or stare at a man's boots only when cruising, less so in non-sexual conversation.
  • The more dominant one is, the more direct the eye contact is unless there is no erotic interest (cruising only).
  • Men in the scene do not discuss (or write about!) the scene with outsiders.
  • All men in the scene must be able to spot outsiders with the "right stuff', and be ready to facilitate them into the scene after they indicate sincere interest.



General Rules: None of these rules are taught or explained to anyone except by innuendo, inference, or example. Erotic technical information is only shared among peers. Maintain formal and non-committal relationships with those outside the scene; avoid contact with feminine men. Women are not allowed, although Senior People may occasionally have intellectual or brief social relationships with a qualified kinky woman, but only rarely and only in private.

Very few men maintained full compliance with all these rules all the time, some flatly refused to follow rules they personally objected to. But, to be included, one was expected to follow at least most of these rules most of the time. Also, confusingly, there was some variation in some of the rules depending on what city you happened to be in at the time. The list above is not complete although it conveys the sense of the style."

("*" indicates protocols generally practiced by most in today’s D/s lifestyle)

 

~~courtesy of Guy Baldwin



REMEMBER: this is only a small facet of a much bigger picture; this is only the tip of the ice berg. As with almost all aspects of any lifestyle, growth and knowledge are a never-ending process. This is only the beginning!

 

 

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