The night started off in a way too crowded bar (restaurant?) that was probably less than pleased to be hosting us, but eh, screw ’em. Screw ’em hard. Slowly, the hashers started trickling in. First there were 5. Then, there were 35 or something, and a good number of Virgins. We love Virgins!

Anyway, Chalk Talk was next, pics were taken, introductions were had, and nuts were shriveled. It was cold. The Hares were off soon after, and we stopped at the first check. Pretty sure it was Julio’s, another bar/restaurant, only they liked us. Then Cold Front came (haha, I said "came). Word.

Soon, the Hares left again. The Pack followed. They spied beer. Joy! So we drank. In the cold. "Fuck it" we said, and the Hares left the beer check to be followed by the pack. Duh.

The Pack followed the trail to a hole in the wall bar called [Insert Name Here, because I honestly can’t recall], where Flamboyatron, in his INFINITE wisdom, stated he was "prettier than Count Taintula". More details on that later, but needless to say, a Sexy-Off was announced to be held at the circle. After drinking and dancing and general fool-making, the Hares decided it was time to leave, so they did. Shortly thereafter, the Pack was off in pursuit.

Next up, a trail through McDonald’s (they must’ve been hungry, what with all that trail leavin’ and whatnot), followed by God’s Gift to Men, Hooters, where we all opted to be on a liquid diet. Fuck McDonald’s. Kinda crowded up in there, though, what with the Security Forces party goin on at the time. It was cool, though, we got to share a moment or two of awesome with them, plus drink til the beer stopped flowing, which it did. It should be noted I made a sad face at that. All would soon be better, though, when the Pack followed the Hares’ trail to the On-In at *gasp* MULDOONS!! Whee!

After being directed to the VERY back of the bar by Moley, we found ourselves in a ginormous (yes that’s a word, shut up) tent set up by the manager for us, complete with our own Port-a-Potties. How very considerate of them. We mingled for a bit, and then, it was time to circle up. Violations were pointed out, announcements were made, and then, the Sexy-Off.... Dun Dun Duuunnnn!

First up, Count Taintula, with a performance that shook.. well, it shook something, somewhere, but it didn’t shake it hard enough to beat Flamboyatron, because after the two Hashers were done shaking what their mamas gave them, it was decreed that Flamboyatron was the winner. Old ’n’ Busted: Count Taintula, New Hotness: Flamboyatron. No hard feelings, buddy. To the victor went the spoils, however, as Flamboyatron got to go home with brand new..... lingerie. It’s hanging up in my room, now.

Random: the people who came into the tent...

After the traditional "Swing Low" was sung, the circle closed, but it had to be said that there were many a teary eye amongst the group afterwards, since Fingerwave was leaving us for Idaho for a year. Many people toasted him, hugs were given out, and Flamboyatron gave him Megatron, which surprised a lot of people. Now we’re Fingerwave-less, as well as Megatron-less. Sad.

And so, to ease our sorrows, we went to the main bar and danced and drank our balls off. Happy.

And on that note, I end this recap of last week’s Hash, and wish Fingerwave the best of luck in Idaho, and I cannot wait to see him when he comes down for the Red Dress. Take care, my friend.

That’s it. Busy night, but it was amazing. Can’t wait til next year, and I can’t wait til next Hash. See ya there