Késsinnimek - Roots - Racines

Sundance's Corner
   by
   Louise-Andrée Éthier aka Sundance Aquero Sharp

Le Voyage d'une Québecoise
Skamonkos-September Corn Harvest Month

Kwai My cousins and friends

Preface

Writing these articles for Késsinnimek has made me think from a different perspective. It appears that my life has been one long journey away from my ancestral and birth place. In fact, my journey started as early as twelve years old when my Mother and I had to go live in Mexico for a while due to my father's illness which was very complicated. In order to get away from it all, my mother was advised by her doctor to leave the country for a while. So she did; and she took me along with her. I had many experiences in Mexico which I'd like to write about very soon. Memories that have been joyful and lasting for me. Prior to that, at six years old I had travelled as far as -Québec City and lived in St. Gabriel de Brandon for a spell with all the ravens and crows which I remember vividly. However, in my travels, I came across many interesting things and people about which I'd like to share stories with you if you will permit me. I hope that you can go back in time with me and join me as I walk on Mother Earth in different parts of North and South America. Will you join me? If you do, I would like that very much.

My friends, you will not need to carry any suitcases, no baggage and you won't even get tired as the magic carpet of time takes you with me. A few months ago, I wrote about a friend Lillibeth who is courageously facing cancer and preparing to go home. This month, I'd like to share yet another friend before we embark on greater journies who is also courageously facing the aging process and how she has found her shangrilla or fountain of youth and preparing to live on earth for a very long time. It is an inspiring story for me and I hope also for anyone who might be facing depression or adversity.

We all advance in age no matter how old we are. They key to life is held somewhere in our hearts and consiousness, inscripted by the creator for us to find and open as time comes along at least from my perception, that's how it is. All we have to do is open the door and walk through a certain liberation of life's adversities. A little patience, a little effort and some deep thnking is all one needs to open these doors; what Aldos Huxley called the "Doors of Perception" So, hang in there friends and cousins and let's go!

Katrina

Having left my ancestral nest with my Mother many years ago, when I was eighteen years old, I have been traveling ever since. Therefore, I have decided to write my stories from the perspective of a voyager. Since it was not my idea to leave my ancestral home, displacement came from the destiny of my Mother's own experience in journeying. It is never easy to leave one's ancestral nest, I would imagine, it was difficult for my Mother but she did it and when she passed away, she passed away in Arizona where I live far from the original nest. She had been living in Florida as a snowbird until she became very ill and could not care for herself anymore. I flew to Sarasota one day after receiving a call from a social worker indicating my mother was no longer able to care for herself after a grave illness which weakened her, and brought her back home to Arizona to live with me and my family. My Mother and I enjoyed those last months of her life together, especially speaking French, from June 1994 to January 1995. We had been separated for over thirty years and had seen each other perhaps five or six times during that space of time. We spoke every Sunday on the phone however and wrote letters.

It was the fact that after my father had passed away, my Mother met and fell in love with an American man and moved me and herself to New York to be with him that my journey into the outside world began. I often remember the nuns of the Sault au Recollet where I went to school telling me about the corrupt outside world. I had an expectation of the "world outside" and whether that expectation was met or not, I was not fully prepared to meet some of the adversities I encountered nor the evil intent of some but I got through it. Having left the ancestral nest which was a small circle between Chambly, Montréal, Boucherville, LaPrairie and some of Québec's surrounding areas, Lachine and Verdun where I was born took me away from all familial ties. It separated me from my cousins of my age mainly, and all my relatives. My grandparents of course passed away before I got too far in my journey and was still traveling between Montréal and New York. I remember it cost 25 dollars on TWA Airlines for a round trip ticket. Sometimes, I took the Greyhound bus and once I took the train. I will never forget seeing the New Jersey turnpike for the first time. I was astounded. In Canada, we didn't even have a road to go cross country that was fully paved yet.!!! And here we were, like on a big roller coaster it seemed with cars whizzing all over the place seemingly in the sky. And the buildings in New York were so large! It was so impressive. And all that noise from the cars. You could hear it all night from your hotel room. Walking on the streets, like 42nd street, there were so many people and it was noticeable that many of them were brown or very dark. I had never seen so many dark people all at one time. I will never forget how that impressed me. I found people friendly in New York for the most part but New Yorkers can be very vocal if you get in their way. It's all a matter of culture for them; they mean no harm from it; it's their way of expressing themselves to others without much reserve. True New Yorkers have big open hearts and in the midst of turmoil, one will always find a friend. At least, that has been my experience. Montréal had been such a different city. A much more polite one I thought and in comparison, quaint. While we had Eaton's, Morgan's, Simpson's and one other whose name I forget as major department stores, ah yes, Dupuis, I think on Ste-Catherine Street, New York had Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Kleins and scores and scores of department stores that one cannot go to all of them. There were just too many. There was no comparison with Eaton's and Macy's ground floor. Macy's was just so large and so full of people everywhere. Eaton's was like a little boutique in comparison. So, an adjustment had to be made when living in a new city, especially one like New York. I did grow to love New York very much and now I consider it my adoptive Mother City next to Montréal. It is where I spent many of my young adult years trying to make it in show business. I worked as a secretary, typist as well to support myself but mainly, I modeled and went to acting school. It was there that I met a friend that has become a life long friend to which I wish to make the subject of my article today.

She and I had the same vocal coach and we met at one of his classes. She was Asian and had come from her Mother country on a sponsorship by Arthur Godfrey. She had studied opera in her mother country but then she was trying out as I was for Broadway plays. I also had studied opera in the beginning of my singing career.

We became very close friends and began to do all kinds of things together. The only thing that held her back is that she was married and had a three year old daughter. So, we could not go running around too much together. However, any time we did have we spent it together. We'd go for coffee after classes or auditions; and often I'd just go and stay weekends with her at her home. Her husband was considerably older than her and also a singer. He was well-to-do, had records and was working enough to keep them well supported. He never really became famous but he was known in the entertainment world and worked enough to make it his living. Not everyone gets famous, however, good careers can be had despite fame in this world of entertainment. And there is always someone there to buy your records even though they don't hit the millions. We often hear only of the ones who sell millions like J-Lo! Between 1963 and 1965, time passed very fast and my friend divorced her husband and went back to her mother country. I, on the other hand, married and became a housewife and Mother. She became famous in her country however and enjoyed a period of stardom. However, as time progressed, she became very depressed and suffered from deep depression. Eventually, she remarried a young man who was enamored of her and wanted to help take care of her in her depression. Here lies the mystery of my story.

I was nineteen years old in 1963 when I met her. She however would not tell me her age and despite many efforts over the years to get her to tell me, she has never told me her age. I have had to speculate. I assumed at the time that she was in her mid thirties...perhaps because of her husband, but also, she looked like she could be 30 something. She had a young three year old daughter as well. It was not unreasonable to think this. However, when she married the second time, I think she told me her new husband was almost twenty years younger than her but she would not tell me his age either. This means that if she was in her mid thirties in 1965 that she would be 75 today. I am 60 today. I cannot imagine her being 75 when she does not look a day over 40 at present. Not only that, she keeps up with her young husband and her young children, a boy of 25 and a girl of 23. She lives the life of a woman of the age of 45 or 50 when the nest is not quite empty. She gives parties and serves her husband's business associates as a young woman would and never seems to grow old at all. No one seems to ever question their age difference. I do not think they see one.

So, this is a mystery that has been haunting me. What's more is this. Recently she called me as we have kept our relationship on the phone over the years and told me she was sending me a DVD of her concert rehearsal. Can you imagine? she said she was singing opera once again and that she has had a vocal coach for the last three years. Then she confided in me and said...you know I never tell my age...and I responded with I KNOW! Then she said, "if I told my age I would not be able to do the things I do. No one would want to teach an old woman opera: she said. "They would say it's too late! She then stated rather emphatically and full of confidence "my voice has come back and it's better than it's ever been. It's strong and I can sustain the high notes." I was shocked in my chair! I will send you a DVD and tell me what you think she said. I could not believe what I was hearing. After all those years! Seriously singing opera, holding concerts and making videos! Wow I thought, this is fabulous!! Not only that, she has been writing too! She said she has written 37 poems and wants to convert them into an opera. Then she continued by saying that some people from her city had introduced her coincidentally at a social gathering to people who were connected to the opera and she is now moving in the operatic circles.

She had her old piano taken out and brought in a beautiful grand piano to practice with. Well, needless to say that I was actually delighted with what she was telling me because in my opinion, she has found Shangrila or whatver one wants to call the fountain of youth. A way to keep her life at a maximum push toward her destiny and out of depression!. She is creating a future for herself and her family. I do not think even her husband and children know her age. Her secret has kept her from growing old as far as I can see and she has been able to reinvent her whole life to make it work for her. Because she was telling me that if she did not have this, she would probably die! I realized just how important the future is for all of us in this world. That we all need something substantial to anchor our lives to have something to look forward to. I received her DVD in the mail and there she was in beautiful form singing her little heart out! I cried with joy, I tell you my friends and cousins. She was beautiful and her voice better than I had ever heard it before. She really was hitting the high notes and sustaining them. Nor did she look tired at the end. At the end, of a lenghty operatic study, she bowed reverently and glided off the stage. It was like magic. It brought back many memories of our youth together and it was a great joy to see and hear her sing again.

Cousins, I know that we are aware of age and aging and what that does to us mentally, psychologically and physically. Our culture in fact brainwashes us to feel old starting forty, useless, worthless and with nowhere to go but to be old senior citizens, a term I abhor like many of you. Today, grandmothers are young! We are beating this myth that we are no longer useful. And one thing leads to another especially with women. We are threatened with the loss of our beauty in the midst of this; our lives, our future, everything is threatened. However, some of us these days are surviving aging. Look at Cher, Joan Rivers. Yoko Ono herself is 70 years old, and like my friend looks thirty five and has a hit record for the first time in her life. Now, that is amazing! It's very hopeful for all of us to know that we can do something about aging today without cosmetic surgery. Even the men are caught up in ageism, although it does not show in them as much. We call them distinguished when they get old. There is no equivalent for us. There is a movement amongst us today that tells us we can live a long, good life and do not have to retire to a rigid life of old age and abandon as we age by keeping active and hopefully productive.

As a painter, I now understand the meaning of the saying "Art Saves" remember that one? We live in what some say are in the end times... Sometimes, I wonder about that the way things are going in the world. Perhaps it's all on how we perceive it or decide to view the world. Certainly, something is going on.

I wanted to share with you my friend's brave and courageous step into the future which is unknown for all of us so we might be able to have one more model for our lives as we grow older. The key here I think is to go for what we love. To go for our passion no matter what it is and realize one's potential no matter how old we are and never give up and never give in to prejudices. We began our lives as young people with Elders telling us to go out and make the world happen...well, I do not think that stops at 39, do you? I realize that the icing on the cake does not start till at least age 50! The only sure thing we know about is that one day we will meet our Maker...but not today eh? Nor are we guaranteed any time by our Maker; so we have to utilize the time we have right now and that goes for the young people too because we never know how long we have and it is my opinion that we must live it fully. Even if it's from the side off a sick bed. Meaning can be had in one's life. It may be a challenge but who is not without a challenge? We are all challenged and that is one of the purposes of life to meet that challenge head on and do the right thing. We do not always succeed but we can always pick ourselves up again and try. We do not know the future. There are many ways of believing and many ways to view the world but there is only one way to meet the world and that's with the rising sun.

Many good blessings to all my relatives. Until the next time, I wish you all peace and happiness.
Zôbi widôbaid & Métañdossañtz8añgan,
Sundance Aquero Sharp AKA: Louise-Andrée Éthier. Yuma, Arizona.

Késsinnimek - Roots - Racines
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