In Memory Of

1/10/05

Fine, fair spirit, please talk to me.
For though I know you're gone
The memory of you lingers---
Forever holding on.

How fresh and bright you made my days
Since the first we met.
Always good for a joke, a smile
Or just to talk and sit.

I often think of times we spent
Just walking and watching tv
Seeking after wisdom
But finding only ignorance.

And now the sharing friend you are
Has left me here to wonder
If I will ever find another
Who can listen, care and understand.
Thank you for the times we had.
So long, good friend.
Good-bye.

1/22/05

I saw an old woman dressed in rags,
Carrying a well worn shopping bag.
Her grey hair frazzled, pulled back in a bun,
Glimmered like silver in the morning sun.
Her old bones creaking, her back bent low,
The years of hard living starting to show.
I asked the old woman, "Where do you go?"
Her answer was simple, she didn't know.
"The street is my home, the sidewalk my bed.
Each day it's different." to me she said.
"I make my living the best way I can.
Buy a pencil Mister, from an old womb-man?"
I reached in my pocket, pulled out a dime.
Handed it to her. The pencil was mine.
"Thank you dear sir." She said with a smile.
Turning, she walked. I watched for a while.
Then something came on me, out of the blue.
A deep kind of feeling, strange and new.
A sad sense of yearning welled up in me.
I wanted to help her. Set my soul free.
I thought about all that I had to give.
How little she needed in order to live.
I ran after her and asked her to stop.
Invited her into a clothing shop.
There I bought her a coat, winter warm,
To keep out the wind of cold winter storms.
She hugged my neck with tears in her eyes.
Called me a saint and started to cry.
My heart filled with joy for what I had done.
I knew my life's work had only begun.
Now, when I see someone in despair,
I reach out my hand and offer to share.
The feeling I get cannot be described,
Like love, once felt, cannot be denied.
Toward the future I look with something to give.
And when I look back, I will know I have lived.

The truth

1/11/05

Like some great storm
Moves over desires and dreams
Creating chaos.

Temples of hope,
Monuments of glory,
None to be achieved,
Come crashing down in shattered pieces.
The remnants of a broken soul.

This then,
The price of misplace love.
A burden endured to no great end,
Except of pain and sorrow.
 

1/15/05

A wilted
Brown-yellow leaf
Hangs wrinkled and limp
On a stiff wooden stem.
Like my spirit
It dangles
Expecting to fall,
Caught between
Joy and sorrow.
Pain and death
Are a part of existence.
As long as there's life
Beginning is easy
Yet, endings are hard to take.
From every sorrow
A new joy arises.
Each time,
A cycle completed.
Like the Spring,
And the Autumn
There cannot be one
Without the other.

1/12/05

My life, without direction leading,
Yearned for love to stop the bleeding of my lonely heart.
For I was all alone and weary, tired of life
With no one near me. Wanting something more.
My heart so full of love for giving ached in pain
That no one living seemed to even care.
Then through the crowd I heard you call me.
Standing there, you smiled so brightly, that you won my heart.
Your smile, so warm, so sweet, so lovely.
Eyes so soft that say you love me, fill my heart with joy.
A joy that makes my love grow stronger.
Hoping that our love is longer than the age of stars.
So Love, look into my eyes and see a place
Where we can grow and be, one with the other.
I Love You!
 

1/28/05

Love doesn't exist in my soul no more. I was one of the few that believed in it at such a young age but I believe ive seen enough. I don't want love. I don't need love. want all u guys want from me are all based on lust. plainly using groins to do the thinking. I don't need sugar-coated words for u to get into my pants. u don't have to say 'I love u, Eli' and shower me with gifts.. just go straight to the point la. u people tarnish what I believed so hard in. now, I just cant accept love no more... my heart has closed.