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Archives February, 2004February 27, 2004 A serious entry for once: Lent... Now this may sound rather strange coming from a guy who teaches a Japanese film course in which the vast majority of students do not know Japanese or at least not enough to understand it without the subtitles. The course is very popular but, given my feelings, I often look at my many students and wonder--What the heck are you guys doing here? Hahahah! What an attitude for a teacher. I think the movies are great, and they have a lot to offer, but they can be appreciated so much more by knowing the language. I guess that's why I don't like watching movies in languages I don't know, cuz I always suspect there is something I'm not getting... I am such the pharisee. Which brings me back to my original thought: The Passion of Christ. The movie is about the final hours of Christ's life as man, when he died for out sins. And not coincidentally, the film was released to coincide with Lent. As a Catholic who no longer goes to church and rarely follows the "rules" of being a Christian (I am so excommunicated), I was surprised to find myself pondering about the Bible, Lent, and my own set of beliefs. I believe the Bible is a book that provides easy to understand stories and guidelines for conduct that can be intepreted by any changing society; it is not a collection of fast and unbendable rules--which is true of any text but that's another topic. Did God creat the universe in six days? I don't think so. I'm an evolutionist, not a creationist--although I am inclined to think he took Sunday off (now I'm really excommunicated). So is the Bible lying? Of course not! The Bible presented ideas--God created all life and it's an amazing feat--in a manner that was easy to understand for people back in the day. Given this attitude toward the Bible, I often questioned the practice of giving things up for Lent. Lent, which starts on Ash Wednesday, and ends on Easter, is 40 days long and is considered a time of sacrifice, of self-denial, a reminder of the ultimate sacrifice Christ made for our sins.And while I'm not sure if Lent is based on the following passage, reference is often made to it during this time. Matthew: 1 Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2 And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. (NKJ) As a child, I had heard this passage countless of times, reminding me of the suffering Christ went through, how Satan had tempted him with food, riches, power, and yet he never gave in. Oooooo. He was SO cool. He was SO strong--God knows, as does everyone else I know, that I would give in in a second. So how were we to apply this passage to our lives? Go out into the wilderness and fast? Ok, ok, more realistically, we were supposed to be strong, too, and give up something for Lent. For the adults around me it was chocolate or coffee or *shudder* TV. So we gave up one or--for the stronger among us--even three of our creature comforts. But what did we learn from this? Anything? Hmm, I didn't... So, many years ago when I began to move away from my church, I decided to focus on, among other things, why did Jesus go into the wilderness. Well, for me, Jesus went to reflect on what he was supposed to do. Indeed, his 40 days is preceded by being baptized by John and followed by his inexorable journey to his death, starting with the gathering of his apostles. So he went into the wilderness alone to focus on his purpose, his raison d'etre. His self-denial reflected a seriousness of purpose more than anything else, I think. So how do I apply my own interpretation to my own life? Do deny myself, as the priests and sisters of my youth told me? What happens to my life if I give up chocolate--dark chocolate!--for Lent? Or maybe a beer? Right, like that's gonna happen. How about my absolutley most favorite sport, football? The fact that its not season makes it rather convenient. I mean anything I give up, will ultimately do nothing for me if I just go back to it after Lent. I mean, what's the result of giving up chocolate, if you're going to gorge yourself on chocolate bunnies and eggs on Easter? No, I will not give up anything for Lent. It is, to me, a practice that has no point. (So excommunicate me already.) Instead, I will reflect on my life, as I always do during Lent. I will consdier what I need to do to better myself, and in the process provide a better environment around me. How can I be a better husband or teacher? Colleague or friend? I have to believe that giving serious thought to these things will do much more than giving up CSI or kettle-cooked extra-crunchy potato chips. Yes, I will reflect on my purpose in life... over an ice cold brew. February 25, 2004 Holding Hands: THE Response...
Also, I got this random question from a basketballer named Vlade Somethingorother (I can't spell it; it's too Russian). Some of you may know him, he plays for the Sacramento Kings. He is always on the road and is apparently dying for some serious advice. I was going to direct you guys directly to his site, but he's kinda bashful and I don't want to expose him--kinda like this place actually. So if you could answer this question for him, I'll make sure he gets it in pronto. Of course, he might contact you directly. He'll likely read the responses here and may ask you for more detail... hehehehe. Come to think about it, I could ask this very same question. It is, for us guys, the age old question: Can somebody please explain to Vlade the secret to understanding a woman's heart? Man, is that a loaded question or what! February 23, 2004 Holding Hands.... We hold hands everywhere. Although, I remember distinctly that she would never hold my hands at HER place of work in Japan. She said it was too embarassing for her to get caught by co-workers and club members--she was an aerobics instructor. But, of course, she HAS to hold my hands when we're walking around MY school. I don't get this double standard crap... Anyone wanna explain it to me? At night, we will hold hands when we go to sleep. Okay, you can stop rolling your eyes, alright? In the morning, we are usually not holding hands anymore as I usually toss and turn and I guess we separate... And we're always playing! I'll sometimes lick my hands before I hold her hands to freak her out! Slobber it up real good. Hahahaha. But once she out freaked me! She grabbed my hand and licked it in the same place! Eeeeeyuuuu! Gross! I bet you're thinking. But we just laughed and laughed. Yeah, we really can play around a lot. But more, we really like each others company... Anyway, holding hands has become an issue. We now clasp hands (like we're wearing mittens). I prefer to intertwine our fingers, but I'm the fidgety sort so I have a tendancy to rub my fingers and they kinda grind my wife's knuckles which then hurts and she gets pissed off... *sighs* She claims that her knuckles are getting larger and that she is developing arthritis. So how do you hold your significant other's hand? Is there a specfic way you prefer? Or is holding hands "old school"? February 21, 2004 It's 6:30 am and I'm still awake  The image here is "borrowed" from http://www.ruutukaappaus.com/. It is taken from the large intersection northe west of Shinjuku Station, and looks east down Yasukuni Avenue, I believe. The bright buildings to the left create the border of what would be Kabuki-cho, the red light district of Shinjuku. I kick myself in the butt for never having taken cool pics when I lived in Japan. In total, I lived there for about 10 years, and the longest uninterupted stretch was from 1990-96. The following is a senryu poem my father wrote that might reflect this photo: jin'ai | no | tokai | to | mienu | yo | no | neon the dirt of the metropolis: the night neon As the poem suggests, the neon lights look beautiful at night and do not appear to represent all that might be considered the dirty, seedier side of a large city. But then, my dad never went to Kabuki-cho, I think. Hehehehe. If he had, I think he would have learned immediately that the neon signs do equal the seedier side of Tokyo... um... er... not that I'm speaking from experience, of course... February 19, 2004 Seriously now! Well later this morning, I have a lecture to give on Japanese poetry. For some reason, they think I'm an expert. Man, do i have them fooled... But i will talk about texts and contexts and intertext. Sound weird? I hope so. I want to disrupt the class by asking them: Do words have meaning? And of course the answer is, NO. Words do not have meaning. We give them meaning. But not in the way you think. For we apply meaning to words based on context. But I will explain this later. For now, I have to go to sleep. I think I'll be lucky to get 5 hours... Wish me luck... Oh, and you can leave a comment by signing my guestbook... February 16, 2004 A pleasant day...
What I rented from BLOCKBUSTER
February 14, 2004  Onigiriman and Musubi-chan February 13, 2004 Just what I feared February 12, 2004 Just how flirtatious can a Riceball be? bane_vixen: i wonder how your students (or former students) would feel if they knew you were flirting with someone who could possibly be your student (age-wise, that is)? Okay, guys. Settle down. I just know you're all rolling on the floor. Onigiriman flirt? I suppose I might have the capacity to flirt, but I'd bet Homer Simpson would get a better response from the fairer sex--even if its only because he has way more money than me.
Indeed, just last night after class--it ends near 9pm, yuck--I was trying to button the snaps of my jacket. With my gloves and other suff in my pocket, I was having a little trouble making them reach each other. One of my students--tall, slender, certainly not unattractive--says, "Sensei, maybe you should run a little more on your treadmill." I responded by doing what only I can do, and actually what my students will allow me to do. I took out a glove and threw it at her. But that is how my students and I interact. Of course, if the student was a male, I would have reacted exactly the same way. So whatever they may see me write on Xanga, they will laugh and think, Onigiriman is being Onigiriman. Hahahahha. But speaking of flirtatious texts, can we take a look at your comment? This is what you wrote the other day: you know..... there's just something sexy about the word "sensei." not teacher or instructor or professor but sensei. and no, i don't have a japanese fetish. haha, i've been watching too much anime. Now, tell me. Whose flirting with whom? Hahahahahah, just kidding. There's no way I could believe you were flirting... Just a little "what's good for the gander is good for the goose." Of course if you were, send me an e-mail. No one will be the wiser... Hahahahahhaha. JUST KIDDING! But I shouldn't make Bane out to be the Vixen; she's is actually fun to banter with. And besides, maybe I do seem to be flirtatious to people who don't know me. I hope not... NOT. hehehehe. (Gawd, I can't help myself... someone please save me!) But I think I've been kinda honest on this page. I never say I'm good looking, and I give you the chance to look at my pudgy mug in the profile pic. And, geez, my doppelganger is a freakin' ball of rice, fer cryin' out loud. Even my advanced age is no secret. 1955 in my profile is the actual year I was born. That makes me 49 this year. So since everyone and his cousin on Xanga seems to have been born AFTER 1980--except Elliott, Sammy and Paiky; sorry guys--I don't expect ANYONE to take me seriously. Just havin' fun, that's all. But now, since you brought it up, I gotta ask... February 10, 2004 Lost in Translation "Hmmm, you think?" I glanced at Musubi-chan, who just shrugged her shoulder. Well, on the shelf was the last copy for sale, just waiting for me. It was a couple of bucks more than Tower or Borders, but I had to have it NOW! Y'know what I mean? Anyway, this is a question that SammyStorm asked, but I was wondering what some of you might have thought. At the end of Lost in Translation, Bob Harris (Murray) whispers something to Charlotte (Johanssen) as he says his goodbyes to her. Musubi-chan and I are at odds. She thinks that Bob is reassuring her that they will meet again in the US. I say they don't. She looked to sad, for one thing, even though Musubi-chan thinks she looked happy--Did we watch the same scene? I think that Bob is telling her that he will always treasure their time in Tokyo--for it was precisely because they were lost in Tokyo that they were able to connect. Had they met in the US, they never would have hooked up. As such, Bob tells her to have a wonderful life and goodbye... I think. A bit melancholy I suppose, but appropriate. February 6, 2004 Nothing Stays the SameThe flow of the moving river does not cease, and moreover it is not the same water as before. The floating foam on it's pools, forms and disappears; there are no instances of it staying for long. The men and his dwelling of this world are also thus. -- Chomei This is a translation of the opening paragraph of the Hojoki by Kamo no Chomei (ca. 1220), perhaps the most influential essay in Japanese literary history. I quote this cuz I've been reading a number of blogs lately that have dealt with changing and/or differing circumstances. As Chomei expresses, water seems like a constant, even in a river where water just seems to be water. But it is always flowing, and it is never the same water that flows by. Even in the pools of standing water created by boulders or crooks in the river, the foam bubbles up and then disappears, never existing for any length of time. All these things are like us. We are constantly moving, working, playing. Even if we consider the more mundane aspects of our life--eating, sleeping, brushing our teeth--they seem to be the same action, but in reality, it is never the same. A sound sleep may affect our moods, and thus effect a pleasant day, whereas a fitful night will bring grouchiness and a short temper, affecting even those around us negatively with perhaps lasting effect. Even our houses seem to be "real"--as the term real estate suggests. But like the foam on the water, it are built but never last forever. Is this a negative approach to life? No way. It is the way of things. Things change regardless, and there is nothing that is absolute. But this is a good thing, isn't it? Do you want to be the same person you were ten years ago? Or ten years in the future? If you go abroad for an extended time, returning to a home that is unchanged provides a sense of security, but this is unreallistic, because your home is actually always changing. It just doesn't seem to be changing if you are changing with it. It is your absence that makes it appear so different. Relationships are also the same. As humans, we are all dynamic. Perhaps the most boring among us change at a slower rate, but we all change nonetheless. When a single unit involves two dynamic--always changing, always evolving--people, there are times when these people grow in different directions, often the result of external stimuli as we are affected by others as much as we affect them. I could go on, but I don't want to bore anyone. Just keep in mind that change IS the standard. Change IS the constant thing in life. Without it we would be bores. Next time, I'll talk a bit more on absolutes--or lack thereof--especially with reagard to texts. Are texts absolute to you? Does the "meaning" of a word remain constant? Can a person or group of people "reinterpret" the meaning of a word? Ask and ye shall be heard.
February 3, 2004 Another day of inspiring students But I'll talk about it more at a later date. But I did want to share with you the sense of satisfaction I enjoy whe I realize that I affect others in a positive way. I like to think I influence my students here at school, but I recently learned that my reach goes beyond DC/Virginia. This is what a new subscriber, Omega01, wrote on his own blog: The quest for new xangas has indeed been going well. Onigiriman's is at the top of the list though. It is...hmm...Inspiring... The recent stuff he posted makes me question the amount of work I put into school, and into learning the stuff I want to learn. Maybe I should be making strait A's (I can, no problem...it's just...hmm... "discipline," as someone I spoke to once put it) Maybe I should be putting more working into studying on the side. I should be learning Japanese with a more furious pace, I should be building web sites and doing graphic artwork. I should be fixing my computer...I know I can fix it, everyone knows I can fix it. I need to stop being such a lazy bum and get some crap done. You only get to have this life once...make it count. Well, as you might imagine, this truly gives me a sense of satisfaction. Thanks Omega81. You made my week! February 2, 2004 Self-referential epithets Please tell me I'm not the only one out there who thinks the word chink is offensive. KrazyChinkFreak is on featured content - I could care less about featured content; I'm just more concerned that her visitors find this acceptable. On the other hand, the author of the blog is born in 1991 - perhaps too early to know how it feels to be the only Asian-american in school (well maybe one out of four) and taunted with racial slurs day after day? Another thing I don't understand is that her page states "Chinese Pride" - if so, then why call yourself "chink"? That's the term non-Asians use to put you down! No wonder that restaurant in Philly that blogged about won't change it's name. Racial slurs are certainly a problem, and its use is not easily condoned. But within certains contexts, I think it is acceptable. Among friends--and certainly here on Xanga, I consider you guys my friends, virtual or not--I have thrown the word Jap around on more than a few occasions. Anyone who knows me knows that I am as proud of being a JA as anyone. I despite constant trashing of things Japanese, I doubt there are many JAs who have invested as much time and energy into understanding their own heritage as I have. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to cast a "holier-than-thou" gaze at anyone. I just want to say that I am as interested and proud of who I am as anyone can be. That said, I also admit to using the racial epithet, jap, as a term of familiarity and of pride. I will use it when I am among friends in reference to myself usually, and occasionally to other JA friends, and of course the Japanese as a cultural group. I have never used it toward a Japanese citizen who is not a friend, and I have never used it derisively...well, maybe sarcastically, or cynically. but in all its permutations, it is, in a way, a term that reflects my familiarity and intimacy with the people I associate with. It is also a term of pride, in a way. African Americans call each other "nigger" as a term of empowerment. That is, Blacks empower themselves by taking a word that was used against them and making it their own. Now, some believe this is not true power, but a type of psuedo-empowerment. It is perhaps delusional to think that a word can have power-giving qualities. Well, anyone who knows me knows how much I believe in the power of words. IMO, by taking back the term "nigger", Blacks accomplish two things: They turn the term into an ordinary word, one that will ultimately lose its derogatory affect over time. Just look at the term "Black". Once upon a time, the appropriate term was "Colored", and to call a man Black was condescending or demeaning. But not anymore. Men like Mohamed Ali and Bill Russell and of course Jackie Robinson referred to themseslves as Black men and gave the term a sense of pride. Will the term "nigger" reach the same status? Probably not soon--at least I doubt I will ever be able to refer to an African American as a "nigger" without some kind of repercussion. But no one can deny its use amongst Blacks and its use is often imubued with a sense of affection and pride. I'm no specialist in African American society, and my comments are considered if not perfectly researched. But I bring their example up to highlight our own situation, Asian in general, and Japanese in particular. I don't promote the use of the term jap--or chink or gook or flip--as a term to advertise yourself to the world, as KrazyChinkFreak does. But as a term of familiarity or intimacy between friends and family, I have no problem with its use. I just don't want anyone else using it: The term belongs to us. |
Valentine's Day has come and gone. I was afraid it was going to be a disaster. After I gave her a dozen roses, Belgian choclates and a Pooh balloon, I told Musubichan that we should get those ears pierced. All of a sudden she got cold feet... I was so confident of this present that I did not have a Plan B to fall back on... Fortunately, she had a change of heart, and she now has two gold studs, one in each ear. Apparently, she needs to wear these things for 6 weeks as she keeps it clean by sterilizing it three times a day. She told me to get one to: "It didn't hurt at all!" Like I said, I have all the holes God intended me to have. Don't need extra. Besides, I have what is known in Japanese as fuku-mimi 福耳, which roughly translated into "fortune ears". Basically, it's an ear with big lobes like those old Chinese gods of fortune. Not that I'm superstitious or anything, but I get the feeling that if I put a hole in my ear, the fortune will pour out. Not that I have a fortune, but I want to keep what little I have. Anyway, we wrapped up the day at our favorite watering hole. Now I have a hangover... How am I gonna grade?
Secondhand Lions 
I mean, this is sooooooo embarassing. Would a young lady actually think I was flirting? Here on Xanga? Oh my.... Now, I'm very flattered... *ahem* I think.... But to me, flirting involves a modicum of expectation. When I was younger, I flirted quite a bit, but always with the expectation that I would get a positive reaction. And you know where mutual flirting can sometimes lead. [Will Robinson. Danger! Danger!] However, at my advanced age, I have absolutely no expectation of a positive reaction, although I must admit my choice of diction may suggest I am flirting in an environment sans intonation, facial expression and body language. But believe me, if you ever meet me and get to know me like my students. You'd KNOW that I was not flirting. Fooling around certainly, but never flirting. I have told many of my students how good looking they are--male and female--from a strapping young man to a doe-eyed young girl. They laugh or giggle, and say "oh, sensei, cut it out." And we laugh. They know that an overweight, old teacher like me wouldn't even pretend to have a chance with these cute, nubile, young things... hehehehhe. Just kidding. Gotta watch my diction...
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