Orange County, CA Adult Children Of Alcoholics (ACAs)
ACA Common Characteristics
Adult children of alcoholics:
Guess at what normal is.
Have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end.
Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
Judge themselves without mercy.
Have difficulty having fun.
Take themselves very seriously.
Have difficulty with intimate relationships.
Over-react to changes over which they have no control.
Constantly seek approval and affirmation.
Feel that they are different from other people.
Are either super responsible or super irresponsible.
Are extremely loyal even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.
Look for immediate rather than deferred gratification.
Lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternate behaviors or possible consequences.
Seek tension and crisis and then complain about the results.
Avoid conflict or aggravate it; rarely do they deal with it.
Fear rejection and abandonment, yet are rejecting of others.
Fear failure, but sabotage their success.
Fear criticism and judgment, yet criticize and judge others.
Manage time poorly and do not set priorities in a way that works well for them.
In order to change, adult children of alcoholics cannot use history as an excuse for continuing their behaviors. They have no regrets for what might have been, for their experiences have shaped their talents as well as their defects of character.
It is their responsibility to discover these talents, to build their self-esteem and to repair any damage done. They will allow themselves to feel their feelings, to accept them, and learn to express them appropriately. When they have begun those tasks, they will try to let go of their past and get on with the business of their life.
LINKS:
The new ACA Blog site
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Common Characteristics
Does this sound like you?
The Problem
This is a description, not an indictment
The Solution
The healing begins when we risk moving out of isolation
12 Steps
The pathway to change
The 12 Traditions
ACA policies and guidelines
Other ACA Meetings
Links to Online Recovery Resources, Information, Message Boards, Chat Rooms.
The Serenity Prayer
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference."
ACA is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity or institution and does not engage in any controversy; neither endorses or opposes any cause. ACA uses the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions adopted from AA as the principles of our Program of Discovery/Recovery and our guide to living One Day At A Time.
This page is not endorsed by, under the direction of, or affiliated with Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization, Inc., AdultChildren.org, Prince Of Peace Church or any official organization.