2008 GRAND PRIZE WINNERS
SPEEDY, LUCY, ROYAL AND SUNDANCE
as the
"FOUR HOUSECATS OF THE APOCALYPSE"
Freya
This entry wuz super popular and a brilliant idea.
Who thought it up?
Royal
Wenn weeze baaaad, massa cawls usts da Four Housecats of the Apocalypse.
Sow weeze desided dat watt weeze were gonna bees fur Howlerween.
Freya
Err .. ahh .. da Apoca .. thingy. Wat in da world is dat?
Lucy
Fur goodness sakes, Freya, it bees in da Bible.
It bout da end ob da whirled wenn awl kines ob bad thins gonna happin.
Da Fore Horsemen ob da Apocalypse gonna reek havoc an distrucktion on da whirled,
jes lak weeze sumthymes duz in ar haus.
Freya
{Shudder}
Oh My !!! Yu ken haff dat Apoco thingie in YUR haus? Yu boys muss be furry bad ... at times anyways.
Royal
Not us boys, Fweya!!! Lucy is dat baaad one!
Didz mew hear bout house herz braked dat vase an pulled down da hankin plant?
Lucy
Mew guyz jes jello cuz I'se kin runz faster an jumps hyer an purlay lonker.
Awl mew dew bees sleep an eet. Nose wander massa laks mees da bestest!
Royal
Jealous of yu? No way.
Hey Freya! Mew wanna nose an udder fing bout Lucy?
Sumthymes herz poop owtside ...
Freya
FANK YU !! I sure I gets dah idea. Now - puleeze ...
Lucy
Yu asked fur it now, Royal. I'se tails herz bout watt mew twy tew dew wif dat toy dawgie an yu ....
Freya
STOP !! STOPS RITE NOW. Dat is enuf bout ... err ... dat stuff. I've got offur fings to asks yu.
Freya
Wuz it hard to ride dem horsies?
Speedy
Ift mew lib in da CSRA mew hafta nose house tew ride horsies --
Sundance
CSRA meens Central Savannah Rifur Area --
Speedy
Hey I'se were tawkin hear! Enyweighs Freya, dis bees horse countree.
Dere purrlaces wear dem twains racin horsies, purrlays polo an haff steeple chases.
Freya
Sounds as if ...
Royal
Doan furget bout da Augusta Futurity wear weeze sees dem werk dem cutting horses.
Freya
Cutting horses? Du dey reelly cut ...
Lucy
An da Nashnul Barrel Horse Racin Champeenships efurry yeer.
Speedy
Yeh, weeze hadded tew stop Lucy frum ...
Freya
HELLO !! HELLO !! IT'S YUR INTERVIEWER HERE !!
ENUF BOUT HORSIES !!
Freya
Now ... I is gonna try to fink of some simple questions.
Lets' see ... hmm ... OK.
Where duz yu sleep? - and only ONE talk at a time pulleeze.
Royal
I'se gits tew sleep crost da massa laigs.
Lucy
Big deel!
I'se sleeps upside da massa haid or on top ob da massa.
Sundance
I'se purrfurrs tew bees on da mistress side ob da bed.
Butt wenn massa takeds a nap in da afurnoon I'se laks tew sleep on top ob himz.
Speedy
I'se laks tew sleep on mine rockin chare, but dat cuz Lucy farts.
Lucy
I'se dew knot fart!
Speedy
Yes yu duz, Lucy. Yu farts.
Lucy
I'm gonna gets yu, Speedy. Rite now.
{extends claws}
Freya
SPEEDY !! LUCY !! PULEEZE STOP !!!
(I bedder end dis interview soon. }
Freya
Who wuz da leader - dah boss cat - of dat galloping ride?
All Together
I'se were!
Freya
Yu ken not ALL be boss. Only one ken be da boss.
Sundance
Akfurly I'se were da leeder cuz I'se da bestest rider -
Royal
Onliest afur weeze tied mew tew mew horsie sow mew woodn't fawl ...
Sundance
Nose Weigh!
Mew keeps tailin dem fibs.
I'se gonna tails Freya bout house mew runned an hided unfur da bed
Royal
Dat is a lie, Freya. In fact, I wuz da boss
Freya
Amm .. Well den .. I guess dat is debatable - so ... err ...
I'm gonna asks anudder question
and only one cat talk at a time and no fites. Hear me?
{Silence}
Well ... Duz yu all hear me or not?
All Together
We hear yu, Freya
Freya
Dat is good. So is one of you da boss at home?
All (in unison)
I am !!!
Freya
I TOLE YU. ONE AT A TIME..
Lucy
(extends claws)
Dem bouys nose hoo bees da boss ob ar haus!
Royal, Speedy, and Sundance
Yeh, da mistress.
Lucy
Herz wish! Massa an mistress bees mine purrsonal slaves.
Akfurly Freya, I'se rools ar haus wif a arn paw.
I'se alouds da bouys tew lib hear sow lonk as dem behafes demsefs.
Sundance
Big tawk Lucy! Mew doan scares nosewon.
Mew eben afeared tew ax massa fur brekfist ifn himz knot owtta bed.
Freya
An now in conclusion, I wants each one of yu to says something nice about the others.
Rememfurs - only one talk at a time - an yu haff to be nice..
silence
silence
Freya
Well, Lucy, can you begin?
Lucy
Sure, Freya. I think dat ... err ... I knows !!
Speedy is nice cuz he's a Manx, juss like me.
Freya
OK - how bout yu Royal?
Royal
Well Lucy dew alouds meese tew git up on da bed wif herz and da massa wifowt haffin a hissy fit.
Speedy
Royal bees OK. Himz laks tew rassel wif meese an Sundance bees a arnj kitty sow I'se guests dat gud tew.
Sundance
Da guyz bees OK, but Lucy bees gud fur nuffin. Dere nose weigh I'se efur gonna sez sumthin nize bout herz.
Freya
Thank you all for being so open and honest with me. This interview
has been .... err .... fun ... hmm ... an I know I'll neffur furget it. :)
Thank you all heaps !!!