When I lived on Long Island, I applied to
teach a class at the local community college. During my interview, the dean
expressed a concern:
“Would your religious background make you
rigid?”ť
Disregarding the fact that this was not
only an improper question, but probably also an illegal one in a job
interview, I replied,
“No, I believe that my religious
background makes me less rigid.”
But yes, some Christians are indeed rigid,
and, beyond rigid, even harsh toward those who disagree with them. This is a
puzzle to me, for the spiritual journey leads us nowhere if not into the
broad graciousness of God. Consequently the most deeply spiritual
people I know are also some of the most open-minded, loving, and welcoming
of heart.
On the other hand, I have encountered
unbelievers who, while priding themselves on being open-minded, seem to be
closed to anything pointing toward the reality of God.
“Josh,” the ex-Christian with whom I
have been having an on-again, off-again e-mail correspondence (see “Answered
Prayer” and “Heroic
Faith“), provides an illustration. A recent message sent out to
his mailing list concerns the end of brain activity, bringing about, as he
sees it, the end of human awareness and existence. He concludes by
expressing sorrow for us poor benighted Christians who need to believe in
life after death. But with a magnanimous flourish he adds:
If they need it, then I suppose it
doesn’t hurt for them to believe it. It is like children who need to
believe in the Easter Bunny. It does give them a certain amount of
comfort.
I decide to overlook the condescension.
I write back:
On the question of the difference between
brain activity and mind activity, you might want to read The Spiritual
Brain by the neuroscientist Mario Beauregard.
Josh responds,
I suppose the author believes in the
spiritual, so what he writes is influenced by that.
Never one to give up a good argument
easily, I reply:
If you reject the intelligence and
knowledge of everyone who believes in God, your sources of information
will be very limited. I wouldn’t refuse a knowledgeable resource just
because the author is an atheist.
Now granted, I would not rely on a
confirmed atheist for wisdom concerning experience of God, any more than I
would rely on someone who had never been out of Florida to describe for me
the experience of walking through fresh snow. But I do respect the knowledge
of anyone who is an expert in his or her field.
And in his own way, Josh has taught me a
great deal:
- about the failure of Christians to
witness adequately to the beauty and love of Christ
- about how mysterious faith is: why do
some believe and not others?
- about the hold religion can have on a
person, as it does on Josh, even when it has been renounced.
Whether or not he has learned anything from
me, I can’t say. But I remember the words of Jesus:
Do not judge, so that you may not be
judged. (Matthew 7:1)
…and of Paul:
Welcome one another, therefore, just as
Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God. (Romans 14:4; 15:7)
So I pray to be led with the saints into
God’s broad graciousness.
. . . . . . . . . .
P.S. During the interview mentioned above,
the dean posed another unusual question.
“Looking at my office,” he said,
“what do you notice about me?”
I paused for a moment.
“That you are organizationally
challenged,” I answered.
He laughed. I got the job.
April 2008
After the Resurrection, Jesus appeared to his disciples with his wounds, not with his body miraculously restored, as if he had never been wounded (which of course is the way we would usually like our own wounds to be healed – in such a way that we have no bodily or spiritual scars).
I would like to share with you a few thoughts on the Resurrection from James Alison’s book
Raising Abel*; for Alison finds it crucial that Jesus was “risen as crucified.” The risen Jesus, he says “didn’t appear to his disciples just as someone who had been dead, but was now better and risen….In contrast to this, the risen Jesus was dead.”
The risen Jesus was dead? Doesn’t this contradict everything we have been taught about the Resurrection? Then we remember that unlike Jesus, the raised Lazarus was not dead. He had been returned to life – and so would have to die again.
Alison continues,
But that death is nothing but a vacant form for God, something whose reality has been utterly emptied out, which can only be detected in the form of its traces in the human story of someone who has overcome death.
The marks, then, of Jesus’ death were something like trophies: it was his whole human life, including his death, which was made alive and presented before the disciples as a sign that he had in fact conquered death.
The risen Jesus was dead, but this death no longer had substance – it was “nothing but a vacant form for God.” It was empty of any death-reality and filled with God.
“Whatever death is,” says Alison,” it is not something which has to structure every human life from within (as in fact it does), but rather it is an empty shell, a bark without a bite. None of us has any reason to fear being dead, something which will unquestionably happen to all of us, since that state cannot separate us effectively from the real source of life.”
“Peace be with you,” says Jesus to the disciples hidden and trembling behind locked doors on the first day of the week. Then he shows them his wounds and says once again, “Peace be with you” (John 20:19-21).
For the message about the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing,
but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.
For God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength.
(1 Corinthians 1:18,25)
__________
*
Raising Abel: The Recovery of the Eschatological
Imagination, 28-31.
March
2008
“I suppose she’s intelligent enough...”
The voice I overheard was talking about me.
“…but she couldn’t even find St. John’s Mercy Hospital.”
I recognized the speaker, as I had given her an ill-fated ride the day before. And yes, it’s true, I have what seems to be a genetic propensity for getting lost. At least I call it genetic. (Anne Tyler, in
The Accidental Tourist, called the condition “geographical dyslexia.”) On the other hand, some people think that if I just concentrated, I wouldn’t have the problem at all. And others, like the owner of the voice speaking above, simply take my inability to navigate as a sign of mental deficiency.
Symptoms:
-
I have been known to drive for a half hour on the interstate in the wrong direction.
-
The words, “You can’t miss it,” send me into quivers.
-
After giving up searching and telephoning for directions, I have had to admit that I had no idea where I was calling from (seriously hindering the direction-giver).
-
I find highway signs woefully inadequate, disappearing just when I need
them.
On the spiritual journey, however, there is a sense in which most of us, left to our own devices, are directionally challenged. The way is fraught with puzzling intersections and foggy back roads and trackless wastelands where we long for a GPS or a printout from Mapquest.
But happily, and often in spite of ourselves, we are being led, even when the haze appears so dense or the night so obscure that we can’t see our hands before our faces. And amazingly enough, we are being guided not just to where we ought to be, but to where we want to be.
The beautiful Latin verses of St. Thomas Aquinas, which we know as “Panis Angelicus,” end with this prayer:
Per tuas semitas
Duc nos quo tendimus,
Ad lucem quam inhabitas.
"Lead us," we pray, "along your paths…" —
Lead us through everything:
-
through interior struggles, through joy and pain, through knowledge and unknowing…
-
through prayer, in the body and blood of Christ (panis angelicus: bread of angels), to the divine life of Christ that we receive and are called to live…
-
from indifference to love, from judging to compassion, from violence to peace...
Lead us along your paths, because our own roads tend to get us lost.
"Lead us where we want to go," continues the prayer, in the direction we are already leaning, if we are paying attention to our heart's longing.
Lead us "to the light wherein you dwell."
Where we are being led is indeed where we want to be. The goodness of God leads us, not to some desolate wasteland where we will still be wandering around hunting for a highway marker, nor even to a faraway or foreign land, but to the very place for which we were made and for which our hearts long: to the Light that is God’s dwelling and our home.
_____
P.S. There are many renditions of Cesar Franck's "Panis Angelicus" on YouTube, performed by the likes of Luciano Pavarotti, Leontyne Price, and Placido Domingo. Unfortunately, Franck's version uses only one verse of Aquinas' hymn, omitting the words cited above.
March 2008
“Oh, Mercy! … Wherever I turn my thoughts,
I find nothing but mercy.”
(St. Catherine of Siena, Dialogues 30)
Dear God,
Your mercy is like the air to me. I breathe mercy, I walk through mercy, I get up in the morning and go to bed at night wrapped in your mercy.
While my own hold on you is tenuous, your hold on me is solid and unbreakable. You are merciful when I am unmindful of you. You are merciful when I am clinging, not to you, but to past wrongdoing. You are merciful, even when my heart is filled with violence and vengeance.
Yet if I am unmerciful, does that not mean that I have refused to welcome your divine mercy, which is life to me? When I am unmerciful, am I not then making my own air less breathable? Am in not in danger of asphyxiation?
And so in your presence I breathe deeply, and I continue to pray, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”
The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he keep his anger for ever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as the heavens are high above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love towards those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far he removes our transgressions from us.
(Psalm 103:8-12)
February
2008
When I was a small child, our milk was
delivered in real glass bottles — a fact which divulges my olden-days’ origins. These bottles were recycled by the dairy, and were useful in many ways.
When at the age of four or five I would indulge in a bout of inconsolable weeping – sometimes because I had skinned a knee, other times because my feelings were hurt, but more often because something had made me mad – my father would say, “Wait a minute! Let me get a milk bottle to catch those tears.”
And off he would go to the kitchen.
Have you ever tried to have a satisfying cry while someone is holding a bottle under your chin? This is especially frustrating if you are hoping to elicit sympathy.
At the time I didn’t know about Psalm 56, where the psalmist complains to God that “people trample on me.” The situation causes him not only distress, but tears. He finds comfort, however, in God's attentiveness:
You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your record?
(56:8)
While the purpose of the milk bottle was to get me laughing or at least to distract me from whatever had made me sad or angry, the bottle in this psalm, I believe, assures us that our tears are important to God. Our sorrow is engraved in the divine heart. We can be confident that we are neither forgotten nor abandoned in our pain. I don't believe it is too strong to say that our tears are mingled with God’s own tears – for us, for the poor, for the oppressed, for the hungry and the abused – tears that will flow until that day when “mourning and crying and pain will be no more” (Revelation 21:4).
January
2008
The astronomers of centuries past – Ptolemaeus, Copernicus, Kepler, and Galileo, not to mention those Persian or Babylonian sky-watchers we call the Magi – would be astonished and awed by what modern science shows us of the cosmos. (If you haven’t done it already, you might want to browse through NASA’s Image Gallery.) What a boon the Hubble Telescope has proven to be, after its rocky beginnings.
Between Sept. 24, 2003, and January 16, 2004, the Hubble focused on a patch of largely “empty” space. What appeared is known as the “Hubble Ultra Deep Field,” and it is something the mind strains to grasp – around 10,000 galaxies heretofore invisible to the human eye.
Coming back to earth, I ask what it would be like to turn our attention toward our own “empty” space — not for several months, but for a few minutes at a time, and not with a view toward analysis, but simply with a loving gaze?
It is unfortunately true, however, that our society does not encourage the honoring of our empty space. It is both easier and more acceptable to fill up every vacant nook, every idle moment, with purposeful activity, or (still easier) with television or surfing the internet.
Are we afraid of being swallowed up in the void? Perhaps. I believe this is a natural fear. Blaise Pascal, in his Pensées, expressed succinctly what we may feel:
The eternal silence of these infinite spaces frightens me.
(Le silence éternel de ces espaces infinis m'effraie.)
The Hubble directed its focus toward the vastness of outer space and revealed thousands of galaxies. Is it possible that as we gaze peacefully into our interior space, we will find that the silence and the emptiness are filled, not with galaxies, but with God?
When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars that you have established;
what are human beings that you are mindful of them,
mortals that you care for them?...
O Lord, our Sovereign,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
(Psalm 8:3-4, 9)
January 2008
During breakfast, I learn from the morning paper:
• that there are about 118,000 vacancies for registered nurses in the United States;
• that the baby of a pregnant woman has died after his mother was kidnapped and set on fire;
• that soldiers in the army of former Liberian President Charles Taylor, had been known to eat the hearts of enemies they had killed;
• that the world food supply is dwindling.
Then I remember that on Christmas we going to hear that the angels proclaimed, some 2000 years ago: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace.” We might well wonder what happened.
Standing boldly against the daily news reports is the testimony of some of our wise Christian thinkers and mystics, for example:
Josef Pieper (a 20th century follower of Saint Thomas Aquinas), writes in Happiness and Contemplation.
How splendid is water, a rose, a tree, an apple, a human face—such exclamations can scarcely be spoken without also giving tongue to an assent and affirmation which extends beyond the object praised and touches upon the origin of the universe. Who among us has not suddenly looked into his child’s face, in the midst of the toils and troubles of everyday life, and at that moment “seen” that everything which is good, is loved and lovable, loved by God! Such certainties all mean, at bottom, one and the same thing: that the world is plumb and sound; that everything comes to its appointed goal; that in spite of all appearances, underlying all things is—peace, salvation, gloria; that nothing and no one is lost; that “God holds in his hand the beginning, middle, and end of all that is.” [Plato, Laws,
715e.]
In the 14th century, Julian of Norwich hears the consoling and mysterious words:
Sin is behovely [fitting, useful], but all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.
And surpassing all other testimony is that of our own beloved Scriptures:
We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me. (Psalm 138:8)
Which is true?
Is the world an irredeemable mess where sin and sorrow are the ultimate truth?
Or is the promise of peace and goodwill on earth true? Can I believe that God will fulfill the divine purpose for me and that everything comes to its appointed goal?
We read in the gospel that the kingdom of God is among us. But we are also told to pray for the coming of the kingdom of God. We know that Jesus is here with us — and yet we still call out, “Come, Lord Jesus.”
The problem is that we live in the mystery of the already and the not yet; and this is so both in our own personal lives and in the world around us.
Nevertheless, I believe that at times God gives us the grace to glimpse the already through the not yet. We may glimpse it in terms of goodness, like the Cenacle co-founder Saint Therese Couderc — or as love, for example, or beauty, or the perfection of all things.
At the heart of things, all is in God’s hand. Christ has not only come but has died and is risen. God is sovereign; goodness triumphs.
Does this mean that we can ignore the evils we see around us? That we can say, for example, that since God is sovereign and goodness is triumphant, we don’t have to do anything about the state of our planet and our society? That we can concern ourselves with satisfying the ego, and let all else go?
Paul also struggled with this question: “What then are we to say? Should we continue in sin in order that grace may abound?”
He answers his own question: “By no means!” (Romans 6:1)
God’s plan does triumph, but just as we are called to be participants in the divine life, we also have a role in the divine mission. We pray for our own sinful and divided hearts to be purified. We work to end violence, injustice, poverty, homelessness, and pain. But we do not despair, either because of our own weakness and sinfulness or because of the state of the world, for once again, Jesus has come among us, has died and is risen. God has triumphed — in us as well as in creation as a whole.
We claim as our own the vision of Isaiah, who saw that:
The wolf shall dwell with the lamb,
the leopard shall lie down with the kid...
They will not hurt or destroy
on all my holy mountain;
for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord
as the waters cover the sea.
(Isaiah 11:6,9)
December
2007
We may think of the Liturgical Year as a circle, going round and round, from Advent to Christmas to Epiphany to ordinary time to Lent, to Easter, etcetera, etcetera, and then starting all over again. We read in the book of Ecclesiastes:
What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done;
there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there a thing of which it is said,
‘See, this is new’?
It has already been,
in the ages before us. (1:9-10)
But in truth, “there is nothing new under the sun” is a very unusual sentiment for the Bible. Some things do go round and round of course: the earth, for example, and with it the seasons. Human nature, too, seems not to change, generation after generation. But the typical biblical view of time and history is that we are going somewhere, not stuck in a never-ending circle. In Isaiah 43 we hear:
Do not remember the former things,
or consider the things of old.
I am about to do a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? (18-19)
In this light we can think of the liturgical year in another way—as a spiral, or more properly a helix: turning, yes, but moving toward the fulfillment of all things.
So as we begin Advent, we notice that we are not quite in the same place as we were last year at the same time, just as each loop of the helix brings us to a spot which looks similar to the previous loop, but is not in reality the same.
Sometimes, though, it seems easier to go round and round, all the while complaining that there is nothing new under the sun. Because if we accept that something new is beginning, we must also accept that something old is ending. In other words, we must accept the death of something familiar to us. If we hear Jesus saying, “I am coming soon,” or if we pray, “Come, Lord Jesus,” then we must accept that the life we know, the only life we know, as imperfect as it may be, must come to an end in one way or another. And whether we know it or not, this is happening to us every year, on a grand scale or on a very small one.
Beginnings imply endings, as endings imply beginnings. And beginnings always call for a move into the unknown.
We are not in the same spot as last year. We do carry the blessing of last year with us (even if it felt like anything but a blessing). But we have had to leave last year behind, perhaps with relief, or perhaps with clinched fists. And this year we are closer to glory than we were last year, as each turn of the helix of God’s time brings us nearer to the fulfillment of all things.
December
2007
Quotations
on gratitude for Thanksgiving or any season:
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice.
-
Meister Eckhart
For happiness is not what makes us grateful. It is gratefulness that makes us
happy.
-
David Steindl-Rast, A Listening Heart
I’ve gotten to the point in life where I am even grateful for my sins, because I have seen the good God has brought out of
them.
-
Sister Catherine Roberts, rc
...
where sin increased, grace abounded all the more...
-
Romans 5:20
Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.
-
Cicero
As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful.
-
Colossians 3: 12-15
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone.
The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:4-7)
November
2007
One day last week during daily Mass, just as the priest was about to begin the Eucharistic prayer, there was a clatter at the side door. This door opens onto the sidewalk and is always locked from the outside.
It happens every so often that someone tries to get in that door, figures out that it is locked, and without further ado walks around to the main entrance. This time, however, the door continued to rattle and there was a clamor of voices — or at least what sounded to me like several voices.
What was going on? Was the building on fire? Had the construction workers next door dropped a slab of concrete on a row of cars in the parking lot? Were incompetent terrorists staging an invasion?
Everything inside halted as all attention was focused on that door. Finally Father nodded to the server, who left the altar and pushed the door open, apparently undaunted by a possible invasion. And in came, not terrorists, nor a group of construction workers confessing to flattening our vehicles, but a single weary middle-aged woman using a walker. She found a nearby pew and sat down. Our priest, only slightly discombobulated, began the Eucharistic prayer.
Lord you are holy indeed,
the fountain of all holiness.
Let your Spirit come upon these gifts
to make them holy,
so that they may become for us
the body and blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Now, I ask you: was this incident a disruption of the sacred liturgy? Or was it an irruption of the sacred in the midst of the liturgy?
My first thought was that it had been a disruption. I was annoyed. The flow of the mass had been interrupted, not to mention the fact that I generally just don’t like clatter.
My second, reflective thought was that the sacred had irrupted in our midst. I remembered the words of Jesus from the book of
Revelation:
Listen! I am standing at the door, knocking; if you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to you and eat with you, and you with me.
(3:20)
Yes, I know this was not only a standing and a knocking, but also a rattling and a calling out; but sometimes Jesus has to go to extremes to get our attention. And yes, I know that the one who entered and ate with us was a woman with a walker; but we also have these words of Jesus:
Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me. (Matthew 25:40)
O Jesus,
Teach us to be mindful and awake,
Always waiting for you,
That we may not be heedless to your appearing.
November
2007
Dear God,
you don’t mind my saying so,
prayer can be boring.
I sit here, like someone waiting
in the restaurant for her date,
eyes politely averted
from the heaping plates of other diners
(okay, I do sneak a peak now and then)
while hoping that I haven’t been stood up.
If
you don’t mind my saying so,
it seems to me that you could liven things up a bit —
without, of course, livening them with
hurricanes or deaths or sickness—
I’m sure you know what I mean,
but I thought I’d make it clear just in case.
If
you don’t mind my saying so,
just a little action once in a while would be quite nice.
I’m not asking for ladders to heaven
with angels going up and down
(okay, sometimes an angel or two would be most welcome)
or wrestling until break of day like Jacob
(anyhow you know I’ve already done my share of that).
But
if you don’t mind my saying so,
although mysterious is all well and good,
and darkness is restful when I’m tired and want to sleep,
and silence a relief from the clatter of the street,
still and all, your Mystery,
your total, deep, and holy Mystery,
can overwhelm me when I’m fearful and need a little light.
Signed with love,
your sometimes-faithful, restless child,
who is still waiting
and knows you don’t mind my saying so.
-
- - - - - -
All that is most important about us happens at a level below consciousness. So real prayer, prayer in its very essence, escapes our direct consciousness. Everything depends on our believing God is Love, utterly faithful, good and generous. Everything depends, too, on our handing ourselves over to God’s loving designs, asking for no tangible
certainties.
Ruth Burrows,
Essence of Prayer
I wait for the Lord,
my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
more than those who watch for the morning,
more than those who watch for the morning.
(Psalm 130:5-6)
October 2007
Sometimes
I feel like a spiritual beachcomber. This is not necessarily bad,
it seems to me, because small gems are there for the finding, if the
heart's eyes are open.
On my bookcase sit the following treasures picked up during a walk along the
beach not far from our Cenacle in Lantana, Florida:
-
a piece of shell edged in
burgundy
-
something white, curly, and lovely that I don’t
recognize
-
a U.S. quarter that has been tossed about by waves for so long it is almost
unrecognizable
-
and two pieces of bleached coral (is it a bad sign for the environment, I wonder, that coral is washing
ashore?)
Spiritual gifts are as abundant as seashells, begging us to pause for a moment, stoop down, and gather them as we walk through the day. But we must not expect choirs of angels hovering above to point them out to us. If we are not attentive, we risk overlooking them. According to Annie Dillard in
Pilgrim at Tinker Creek:
There are lots of things to see, unwrapped gifts and free surprises. The world is fairly studded and strewn with pennies cast broadside from a generous hand.
The world is indeed strewn with pennies (and
wave-tumbled quarters) for those who have eyes to see.
But then I recall another quotation from Annie Dillard
— a caution to those of us inclined to spend our lives combing the spiritual sands. Using the image of the ocean,
she asks:
Have we rowed out to the thick darkness, or are we all playing pinochle in the bottom of the boat?”
(Pilgrim at Tinker Creek)
From
the gifts to the Giver
God’s gifts are good and to be received with gratitude. Nevertheless, we are
not made for the gifts, but for God. The shells and pennies, literal or spiritual, are cozy gifts, more or less comprehensible to our limited minds. God the Giver of gifts, however, is beyond our human grasp, dwelling “in unapproachable light” (1 Timothy 6:16)
— and the divine light, anything but cozy, can appear to us as darkness.
Are we just "playing pinochle in the bottom of the boat"? Or are
we perhaps out of the boat, but gazing at our own feet in the sand of the
beach? According to an oft-quoted expression, “We become what we
contemplate." Are the eyes of our heart so focused on God’s gifts that we overlook God? Are we satisfied with becoming the shells and quarters, or do we recognize the deep longing implanted in us for union with
the Divine?
So I continue to pick up treasures God leaves for me in the sand of my day—and when I remember, I give thanks.
Occasionally I even let myself be reminded by these gifts (or even by their absence) that there is Mystery behind and beyond them – and that it is this Mystery who is my purpose and my destination.
Do not be deceived, my beloved.
Every generous act of giving, with
every perfect gift,
is from above, coming down from the Father of
lights,
with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
(James 1:16-17)
September
2007
On the way home from giving a day of prayer in Jacksonville, Sister Elizabeth and I pass a church. A sign outside exhorts:
Get away from yourself.
Come to church.
“Why would I want to get away from myself?” I think. “I’m the only self I
have.”
Then I remember what Huston Smith says about the early Christians. He reflects that in spite of the danger they often found themselves in, they seemed happy. They had about them a radiance that was puzzling to others. The explanation, he says, lies in the fact that “three intolerable burdens had suddenly and dramatically been lifted from believers’
shoulders”:
-
“The first of these was fear, including the fear of
death…”
-
“The second burden they had been released from was
guilt…”
-
“The third release the early Christians experienced was from the cramping confines of the ego.”
*
The “cramping confines of the ego”
The ego can not only cramp us, it can also be a tyrant. We may find ourselves trapped in a false self that is hungry for more of everything—more power, more esteem, more money, more diversion, more accomplishments, a more beautiful body, more, more, more… We can be deceived into thinking these are the things that give us joy. And no matter how much we acquire or accomplish, the tyrant is never satisfied.
Any of these "mores" can usurp the place of God in our lives. Or we can yield to the "more" of trying to make of ourselves little gods — which in reality is a twisted temptation, because as it turns out, our Christian call is already to be “participants in the divine nature” (see 2 Peter 1:3-4).
Participants in the divine nature
What an amazing thought! The false self, however, is not crazy about the idea of our being participants in the divine nature, for this wondrous gift must be accepted in a way that is alien to societal norms.
The seductive and absurd premise of the wildly popular book,
The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, is one that flatters the false self. There we are told, "You are the master of the Universe… You are the perfection of Life… your whole life and everything in it has been created by You." (Notice the capital
Y.)
Unlike
The Secret, the Bible calls us to take on the mind of Jesus, who “did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave” (Philippians 2:7). Jesus, who would have had reason, we might think, to cling to equality with God, was free from the “cramping confines of the ego.” The paradox is that the false self tries to be God, while our true self, found in God and participating in the divine nature, is the very soul of humility.
Continually turned toward God
In 1864, Saint Therese Couderc, the co-founder of the Cenacle, pondered the key to peace and joy, which she saw as surrendering oneself totally to God, as Jesus did. “In a word," she wrote, "to surrender oneself is to die to everything and to self, to be no longer concerned with self except to keep it continually turned toward God.”
Of course being “no longer concerned with self” does not mean neglecting either our bodies or our spirits, both so precious to God. We are to nourish our bodies with wholesome food and nourish our minds and our souls with knowledge and prayer. But even as we care for ourselves, we are to be “continually turned toward God,” allowing God to transform us, so that our whole being, growing in the divine compassion and mercy, reflects our union with God. This is the only way to be happy and to be free of the domination of that perfidious false
self.
For freedom Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, therefore,
and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)
* Huston
Smith, The Soul of Christianity: Restoring the Great Tradition (HarperSanFrancisco, 2005), 79-81.
September
2007
When they had entered [Jerusalem], they went up to the upper room, where they were staying, Peter and John and James and Andrew, Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew, James the son of Alphaeus and Simon the Zealot and Judas the son of James.
All these with one accord devoted themselves to prayer, together with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers.
(Acts 1:13-14 RSV)
What were Mary and the friends of Jesus doing in the Upper Room – in the Cenacle – after Jesus had ascended into heaven? We are told that they were
praying.
"Is that all?" we ask.
Most of the other New Testament mysteries are mysteries of presence and of the breaking forth of something obviously new into the world. But here nothing much seems to be happening. Perhaps this is one reason the time in the Upper Room is so hard to deal with as an event – or a non-event – and why it seems easier to skip over this mystery and move on to Pentecost.
But I propose to you that something absolutely essential for the church and the world was happening there in the Upper Room. Yes, this is an in-between time: in between the great mysteries of Cross/Resurrection/Ascension and Pentecost. But all gestation periods are in-between
times.
A new Annunciation
Let’s go back for a moment to the Annunciation scene in the first chapter of Luke. It took me a while to notice the similarities between Gabriel’s proclamation to Mary and the words of Jesus to his disciples just before the Ascension. Remember that the Gospel of Luke and the Book of Acts were both written by Luke. Luke is a careful writer, so it is doubtful that the resemblance is accidental.
In Luke 1, in response to Mary’s question, the angel says, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you…”
In Acts 1, in response to the questioning of the apostles, Jesus says, “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you…”
This verbal resemblance is important, because it indicates that what is happening is similar in both
cases.
But there is a difference.
One of the major distinctions between the two annunciations is this: at the time of the Annunciation, the word was spoken to one person, Mary; but the promise on the day of Ascension is made, not to one person, but to the assembled disciples of Jesus. This time, the Spirit is promised to the community. In both events, the power of the Holy Spirit will bring about an embodying, an enfleshing: in the first case, the conception of the infant Jesus; in the second case, the conception of the infant church, the mystical Body of Christ.
Since this is so, the womb is to be prepared this time, not in the body of Mary, but in the body of the community. Gathered there, supporting each other, forgiving each other, a hollowing-out is taking place, an emptying, a making room or preparing a womb for the Spirit of Jesus.
(There are images in which Mary, representing the church, is depicted as
pregnant. See the alternate
version of this reflection for two of them.)
The presence of Mary the Mother of Jesus is indispensable to this little community, for Mary is the only person in the world who already knows what it is like to be emptied in such a way as to receive the mystery of Christ within herself.
A time when nothing is happening.
The group gathered in the Upper Room needs this time of prayer where nothing seems to be taking place. The friends and family of Jesus no longer have his physical presence, and what they are left with, for better or for worse, is each other. They must receive the mystery of Christ into themselves; they must be prepared to incarnate the presence of Christ for each other and for the world. Because of this wondrous process, Paul can later say:
“Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it” (1 Corinthians
12:27).
Isn’t this our own call when we pray? We wait — if not in an actual Cenacle, in the Cenacle of our hearts — and often we feel as if little or nothing is being accomplished. However, along with the whole communion of saints, those still living and those who have gone before us, we wait and pray, allowing God to pour out love on us (whether or not we are aware of it) and to begin transforming us into the loving presence of Christ for each other and for the whole world.
August
2007
One night many years ago, an employee of my extended
Alabama family came home to find his wife in bed with another man. This is a
very old story in human history, but it was a new one to Dale, who summarily
killed the usurper. Needless to say, the friends of the other man were not happy
about his death. They went hunting for Dale, determined to take vengeance.
Dale found a hiding spot under the big old house that
was our family home place. My great aunt Missie (who was in charge of pretty
much everything, including the nether regions of the house) knew he was there,
as presumably did my grandmother and the other adults in the family, but all
ignored the fact until the friends had given up looking, and Dale could be
transported safely to jail.
In the years following, my grandmother sang a new
lullaby as she rocked my little brother. The lyrics were simple and, repeated,
had a certain lulling effect:
Dale, Dale,
Get out of jail,
And take me to ride on the tractor.
Violent Acts and Stealing the Liquor
The South has probably had more than its share of
violence, some of it racially motivated, much of it not. It has affected people
of all social classes. Besides Dale, among my family’s acquaintances were a
judge killed by a member of his own family and a university professor who shot
his wife. There was also the state senator whose murderer made the mistake of
stealing not only his victim’s car, but his whiskey to boot. He was
apprehended weaving from side to side down the highway.
Although violent acts are often the stuff of legend, and
occasionally of lullabies, it remains true that violence is rarely if ever
justified. This is so whether it is a question of individual retribution, the
emotional abuse family members can inflict on each other, or the mass
destruction of war. Violence begets violence, as it did in days gone by and as
it continues to do in our country and the world today.
Direct and Indirect Consequences
Violence begets violence directly, as it did when Dale
took revenge for an act of infidelity (itself a violent act), and then when the
friends sought to avenge that death.
Violence also begets violence indirectly:
• by teaching children that might makes right and the
powerless are fair game;
• by fostering a climate where laboring for justice
does not seem worth the effort, because violence is so much easier;
• by nurturing a culture where the extraordinary
courage required to be a peacemaker is renamed cowardice.
They will not hurt or destroy
on all my holy mountain;
for the earth will be full
of the knowledge of the Lord
as the waters cover the sea.
(Isaiah 11:9)
July 2007
I’ve heard
many good sermons and homilies in my life. I’ve also heard a lot of boring and inept ones. But of them all, gripping and deadening alike, I confess that I remember almost nothing.
On the other hand, I remember countless hymns, every word of every verse of some of them. That probably has something to do with singing them over and over, whereas I only hear the homily once. However, I am convinced that there is more to it than that.
Wedding music to words imparts a power that lyrics are hard put to achieve on their own. This is a power:
-
that
encourages us, often without our realizing it, to let our guard down;
-
that has the potential
to touch us when nothing else can;
-
and that can lead us to a holy silence.
Letting down our guard
There is something about music that
encourages vulnerability — either to good (see “Thin
Places”) or to evil.
As
for the latter, the Anti-Defamation
League says that “hate music has been instrumental in the formation of a white supremacist subculture….Hate music helps bring haters together into a shared community.”
Are hymns dangerous? They can be, if they come out of a theology that
corrupts the gospel; but it is my impression that hymns may be theologically safer on average than sermons or homilies.
For one thing, hymns
are subjected to a sifting over the decades and the centuries that most homilies don’t have the
opportunity to undergo. With hymns, the weevils don’t make it through the sieve of time, because they do not resonate as truth deep in the hearts of the faithful. (There are
wily exceptions, of course, which do manage to slip through.)
Songs as recent as the late twentieth century are being submitted to this triage. Some of the worst have already been sifted out of the repertory. Thankfully, we now have fewer of the
let’s-all-believe-because-the-sun-is-shining 1970s type of song. (What about when the sun is not shining, when we are laid in the dust by sorrow or pain?)
And no longer do we hear the parish folk group singing “Puff the Magic Dragon” at Mass. (Yes, indeed, I really have heard this!)
It remains to be seen what will endure from today’s praise songs or Christian rock music.
Sometimes music can reach us when nothing else can.
Years ago, when I was preparing for a program called “Hymn-Singing and the Mystical Pilgrimage,” I ran across
the following personal reflection on a web page. (I wish I could give proper credit, but the site no longer exists, and the entry was anonymous.)
In the early hours of my ordeal with brain cancer, waves of pain and large doses of morphine scrambled my thoughts. At the time, the most gracious and well meaning message from those wise and loving counselors could not penetrate the fog. Nevertheless, the following hymn is what the Spirit brought to mind and the words of which are still my comfort and strength.
The hymn was
“My Jesus I Love Thee."
And paradoxically, for some people music can lead into silence, even help create a space within
that is quieter than no sound at all, a space where we can more easily enter into the loving silence of God.
On that note, and after many words, I will myself be silent.
I will sing to the Lord
as long as I live;
I will sing praise to my
God while I have being.
May my meditation be
pleasing to him,
for I rejoice in the Lord.
(Psalm 104:33-34)
July 2007
When we emerged from Ward’s Super Market into the Florida sunshine, Sister Elizabeth discovered that she had left her sunglasses inside, next to the coffee grinder. She went back to retrieve them while I sat in the car, bored, and stared through the windshield at the backside of a row of newspaper vending boxes. Bored I remained until something caught my eye. There on the Florida Times-Union box — on the back, as I mentioned, where it would not be seen at all from the street — was a neat sticker printed with the words:
EVERYTHING WILL BE OK.
Who had put it there? Did every Times-Union vending box carry this assurance, in startling contrast to the messages found in the paper itself? Or had a hope-filled vandal struck?
Was it pure chance that I was sitting there gazing at this mystifying communication? Or was it a reminder to me of a truth that I was neglecting?
The sign on the newspaper box was one of those small mysteries that have no explanation (mysteries are not puzzles to be solved), but which nudge us into mindfulness.
I thought of the words Julian of Norwich heard from Jesus:
All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.
I thought also of Romans 8:
We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. (8:28)
Events of our own lives, however, can sometimes make it very hard to believe that all manner of things will be well. Reading the newspaper, watching CNN, or surfing the internet, we may find it even harder. What about the genocide in Darfur, the war in Iraq, or global warming with all its implications? What about the victims of Hurricane Katrina who still reside in tiny FEMA trailers? What about the homeless couple who appeared at our door the other day, eager for work that we could not offer?
Christians live in hope. We are always looking not only at what we see here and now, but toward what is promised. We live in hope of the fulfillment of all things, which in some deep sense is present to us even now through the Resurrection of Jesus. We believe that time is going somewhere, not just in circles. God is leading us beyond where we are now. Our future is good.
So we contemplate the Resurrection, and we cling to hope. We continue to hope beyond all hope. For nothing in our lives is wasted. Goodness, despite all appearances, does prevail.
. . . . . . . . . .
P.S. A friend called after reading the above reflection. She wanted to know if Sister Elizabeth found her sunglasses. So for all who feel as if you have been left hanging, I am happy to report that yes, she did find them right where she left them.
The thought of my affliction and my homelessness
is wormwood and gall!
My soul continually thinks of it
and is bowed down within me.
But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul,
‘therefore I will hope in him.’
(Lamentations 3:19-21)
A few minutes ago the sky turned gray, the wind picked up, and it looked as if we might at last get rain. Soon, however, the sun was out again.
A severe drought is oppressing Florida. Here at our house what is left of the grass (which in the spirit of conservation we don’t water) crunches underfoot. Recently planted ligustrum (which we do water occasionally) is struggling to survive. It has been many weeks since the resurrection fern on our live oaks has been green. And the trees which not so long ago were showy with fresh spring leaves now appear
dusty.
I have been praying for rain, but every day the sky is clear, except when a contrary wind brings us smoke from the gigantic wildfire in South Georgia or one of the multiple smaller fires in Florida. (Click for update.) Then people who have respiratory problems struggle to breathe, and we seal with masking tape the large space between our warped double front doors. (I can only imagine what it must be like for those closer to the fires.)
When we do have real clouds, I go outside and raise my arms toward the sky, hoping somehow to draw down their moisture.
I share with you two prayers for rain, the first from the National Catholic Rural Life Conference, and the second, for spiritual rain, from Gerard Manley Hopkins. You will find them just below the picture of the dry resurrection ferns.
Prayer for Rain
O GOD, in whom we live and move and have our being, grant us rain in due abundance, that, being sufficiently helped with temporal gifts we may seek with more confidence those that are eternal. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
-
The Rural Life Prayerbook
Thou art indeed just, Lord
Justus quidem tu es, Domine, si disputem tecum; verumtamen justa loquar ad te: Quare via impiorum properatur? &c. (Jerem. xii 1)
Thou art indeed just, Lord, if I contend
With thee; but, sir, so what I plead is just.
Why do sinners' ways prosper? and why must
Disappointment all I endeavour end?
Wert thou my enemy, O thou my friend,
How wouldst thou worse, I wonder, than thou dost
Defeat, thwart me? Oh, the sots and thralls of lust
Do in spare hours more thrive than I that spend,
Sir, life upon thy cause. See, banks and brakes
Now, leavčd how thick! lacčd they are again
With fretty chervil, look, and fresh wind shakes
Them; birds build--but not I build; no, but strain,
Time's eunuch, and not breed one work that wakes.
Mine, O thou lord of life, send my roots rain.
- Gerard Manley Hopkins
May
2007
One of the favorite themes of Josh (not his real name), an ex-Christian with whom I have been corresponding, is prayer — or rather the uselessness thereof.
Lately he wrote about a friend who has fallen on hard times, so hard, in fact, that food is scarce. He decided that it would be wrong to help him out, because as a Christian, he needs to do what Jesus instructed, namely, “go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you” (Matthew 6:6).
Josh interprets this passage to mean, “Don’t tell anyone about your need, or it won’t be secret. If you ask people for help, you are not doing what Jesus said to do.” Then he adds, “Do you think God would work a miracle and provide food if he does this?”
Now most of Josh’s rants against Christianity I ignore, especially since they arrive in my mailbox several-fold per day, but this was such a twisted understanding of what Jesus said that I felt I couldn’t let it go by unanswered.
So I replied: "It's important to realize that God often answers prayer through us, sometimes even when we are not aware of it."
He responded in a large font, to emphasize, I suppose, the justice of his point:
They ought to do what their fearless leader said to do: pray in secret and don't let people know what you need.
I wrote back, in what I hoped was a calm-sized font:
If you read it in context, you will see that in the passage from Matthew about praying in secret, Jesus is cautioning against religious ostentation for human praise. He never says we should keep our needs secret or that we shouldn't ask for help.
But are you thinking of prayer as just asking for things and then receiving them (or not receiving them)? That is one form of prayer, but that is not the essence of what prayer is.
The essence of prayer is presence.
Josh, however, did not seem interested in the concept of prayer as presence. He was too focused on disproving the validity of prayer of any kind.
God as vending machine
Like a lot of people, Josh views God as a vending machine. If you drop in your prayer and don’t get back what you asked for, then you’ve been cheated, which goes to prove that the promises of the Bible are not true, prayer is a sham, Jesus is a fraud, and God probably doesn’t exist.
Can we ask for what we want?
So what is prayer, if it’s not just asking for something and getting it — or not getting it? Of course there is nothing wrong with asking God for what we want. Jesus says more than once in the gospels, “What do you want me to do for you?” I believe God treasures our prayer of petition, whether it is for ourselves or for other people. Indeed, God treasures whatever we do to acknowledge the divine presence and to be present to the One who loves us.
A biblical example of unanswered prayer
But let’s look at an example of "unanswered" prayer from the Bible.
Paul tells us in his second letter to the church at Corinth (12:1-10) that following an extraordinary religious experience, he was given a “thorn in the flesh.” What was this thorn in the flesh? Some people have thought it was a physical problem such as an illness; others have said it was probably something emotional; or perhaps persecution or temptations or difficult people he had to deal with. But whatever it was, he prayed for it to be taken away. And he prayed, he says, three times — which really means over and over.
Paul, saint though he was, did not get what he asked for. Nevertheless, he seems to feel that his prayer has been amply answered. Why?
The answer Paul hears is, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness" (12:9).
God has given him something more precious than what he asked for. God has given him assurance of the divine presence, assurance that he is valuable to God, assurance that God’s grace and power are at work in him, even in what Paul himself considers weakness.
Our Heart's Desire
Second, I suspect that Paul learns through this experience what is really important to him.
Psalm 37 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” The problem is that we don’t always know what we truly want in our heart of hearts.
I believe that when we persevere in prayer, the Spirit of Jesus will teach us what our heart’s desire really is. It may not take long for us to learn. It may take us a lifetime. We will learn that the deepest desire of our heart is God. That is how each one of us is made, whether we know it or not.
We will receive the desire of our heart, and we will know, like Paul, that our prayer has been answered. Whatever else we desire and pray for, we will desire and pray for it in the Spirit of Jesus who always says, your will be done.
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart…
Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him;
do not fret over those who prosper in their way,
over those who carry out evil devices.
(Psalm 37:4,7 NRSV)
April 2007
We know about the folly of the cross. In his first letter to the Corinthians, St. Paul says that “the message about the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (1:18 ).
The foolishness continues with the raising of Jesus from the dead. It seems that each year around Lent and Easter books or television shows purporting to prove the absurdity of the Christian faith — and not incidentally making their authors or producers a bundle of money as well — appear on the scene. (See Rachel Zoll’s article,
“Easter Prime Marketing Time for
Skeptics.”)
I’ve found some rather sad and bitter web pages as well, published by people mocking the Paschal mystery. A self-professed atheist named
Ed Kagin writes: Wouldn't it have been nice if the risen savior of the world had appeared in all his glory to the Roman Senate where literate rational humanists could have recorded an accurate account of this miracle?”
He seems to think politicians would have been more reliable witnesses than Mary Magdalene.
Are the witnesses credible?
That the first witnesses to the resurrection were women seemed to bother some of the disciples, too. They refused to believe until they had seen Jesus for themselves, perhaps because everybody knew you couldn’t trust the testimony of a woman.
Actually, the fact that we are told the women were there is probably an indication of the historicity of the story, because no one trying to concoct a plausible story would have put women in as witnesses. N. T. Wright, in his monumental book called The Resurrection of the Son of God (Fortress, 2003), says:
“If they could have invented stories of fine, upstanding, reliable male witnesses being first at the tomb, they would have done it” (608).
The presence of men would have been considered much more convincing. However, since there is a good chance that the Christian community already knew the women had been there, that’s the way the story had to be told. (Paul, however, does take the easy way out in writing to the Christians of Greek city of Corinth, conveniently neglecting to name the women in the otherwise magnificent fifteenth chapter of First Corinthians.)
No vengeance? No retributive justice?
So we have female witnesses, therefore not credible. And what is perhaps even more conducive to the charge of nonsense, Jesus comes back to the very people who had denied him and deserted him when he was most in need. Back to all of us sinners he comes, with no effort or desire to get even. How foolish can you get, by the standards of worldly wisdom? Why come back to them — to us — at all? Shouldn't the risen Christ have declared victory accompanied by invading troops of angels? Shouldn't he at least have demanded an apology?
Christianity's Reason for Existing
Why did Christianity arise, and why did it take the shape it did? The early Christians themselves reply: We exist because of Jesus' resurrection. … There is no evidence for a form of early Christianity in which the resurrection was not a central belief. Nor was this belief, as it were, bolted on to Christianity at the edge. It was the central driving force, informing the whole
movement.
N. T. Wright,
The Challenge of Jesus: Rediscovering Who Jesus Was and Is
It is this folly of the cross and resurrection that makes us who we are and calls us into the very life of the resurrected Christ. For as Paul says, “God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength” (1 Corinthians 1:21).
If Christ has not been raised, your
faith is futile and you are still in your sins.
Then those also who have died
in Christ have perished.
If for this life only we have hoped
in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.
But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of
those who have died.
For since death came through a human
being, the resurrection of the dead has also come through a human
being;
for as all die in Adam, so all will be made alive in Christ.
(1 Corinthians
15:17-22)
April
2007
I have just ordered a copy of Gerald Vann’s
The Pain of Christ and the Sorrow of God, a small spiritual classic published in 1947; but Amazon.com can't promise delivery for another month or month and a half. I am eager to get hold of this little book because of a sentence that has stayed with me from the first time I read it nearly thirty years ago. Whether or not I am remembering it correctly, these are the words I recall:
The cross is at the heart of God.
Does God Have a Heart?
For better or for worse, early Christian theology was strongly influenced by Greek philosophy. One (for me) infamous notion inherited from the philosophers is the impassibility of God. The belief that God is not capable of suffering was axiomatic for many Christian thinkers in the early centuries of the Church. It was later embraced by Thomas Aquinas, and it can still be found in the work of some contemporary theologians – this in spite of the biblical witness of a passionate God, a God who is afflicted in all our affliction (Isaiah 63:9, see RSV) and who grieves when we are unfaithful (Hosea 11:7-9).
If you believe that God cannot suffer, then it follows, as Thomas Aquinas says, that “Christ’s Passion did not pertain to his divinity”
(Summa Theologica, III, Q 46, A 12). In this view, Jesus did suffer on the cross, but only in his humanity. If we carry this schema a step further, we are faced with a disturbing scenario: God the Father in no distress as he witnessed the Son in agony.
Suffering was viewed as a sign of imperfection.
However, we would probably argue — we who are made in the image of God — that the inability to suffer would itself constitute a grave flaw. It would certainly be a flaw in a human being. We know from our own experience that human maturity requires not only the ability to feel our own pain, but also the capacity for compassion, a word that literally means “suffering with.”
And from where does the ability to be compassionate come? Human beings receive this gift, like all good gifts, from God, whose own "compassion is over all that he has made" (Psalm 145:9).
If Jesus who died and was raised reveals God to us, who is the God whom he makes known?
Jesus reveals a God who is compassionate toward us like the best of fathers (Psalm 103:13), who loves us even more than a mother loves her child (Isaiah 49:15). Karl Rahner, speaking of the Incarnation, says that God's Word who is Christ says to us:
I am there. I am with you… I weep your tears. I am your joy… I am in your fear, because I have suffered it myself. I am in your death… I am your
life.
Kleines Kirchenjahr (Muenchen: Ars sacra, 1954).
We dwell in God. We are infused throughout our being with God who permeates every atom and electron and quark of our being.
The divine compassion assures us that whatever we do and experience, whether joyful or sorrowful, all is held and valued in the heart of God.
The divine omnipotence assures us that just as the pain and sorrow of Jesus were not wasted, neither will our own pain and sorrow be wasted.
The cross of Christ is at the heart of God. Our human life is in the heart of God.
+
+ +
Then the Lord
said [to Moses], ‘I have observed the misery of my people who are in
Egypt; I have heard their cry on account of their taskmasters.
Indeed, I know their sufferings, and
I have come down to deliver them from the Egyptians, and to bring them
up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk
and honey
(Exodus 3:7-8)
March
2007
I went outside the other day to uncover the plants after the latest freeze. In case you don’t know, when a drastic dip in the temperature is predicted, residents of the deep South are warned about protecting the four p’s. That means people, pets, plants, and pipes. Protecting plants usually involves running out the night of the freeze and draping cloths over vulnerable vegetation, with the result that the yard and the neighborhood are filled with ghostly shapes.
Anyhow, as I was piling the cloths one by one over my arm, a man on a bicycle stopped. He had a plastic crate strapped to the back of the bike and the indefinable look about him that those who have been homeless for a long time seem to acquire. We began chatting amiably about the plants and the weather. Then the conversation shifted.
“Night before last I went over to Butler Plaza,” he began.
Butler Plaza is a huge strip mall emblematic of urban sprawl.
“About two o’clock,” he continued, “I went to sleep under a bush.”
That was the night it stormed and turned frigid.
“Now I have this cold.”
“No wonder,” I said.
“I’m on my way to get some cough medicine."
There was a pause.
"I live in a tent in the woods, and I have blankets there.”
“But you didn’t have any at Butler Plaza,” I added reasonably. Perhaps I did him an injustice, but I imagined him not so much deciding it would be convenient to spend the night under a bush, but passing out there, dead drunk, with a storm coming on and no cover.
Once more he turned the conversation to the plants. “Maybe you should leave them covered tonight,” he suggested.
“It’s not supposed to freeze tonight. But,” I added, “take care of yourself. You’re more important than the plants.”
“I’m just a bum.”
“No, no, no,” I stammered, not knowing what else to say.
The conversation soon drew to a close, and off he rode.
When I told Sr. Elizabeth about his saying he was just a bum, she replied, without a moment's hesitation, “Beloved of God.”
That is what I should have said to him, of course. I should have told him the truth. You are not a bum. You are beloved of God.
When you stop to pass the time of day with someone working in the garden, you are beloved of God. When you show concern for the living things in the garden, you are beloved of God. And when you drink yourself blind and pass out under a bush at the mall, you are, still and always, beloved of God.
See what love the Father has given us,
that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are.
(1 John 3:1)
March 2007
How Shall I Go to God?
It is with our sins that we go to God, for we have nothing else to go with that we can call our own. This is one of the lessons that we are so slow to learn; yet without learning this we cannot take one right step in that which we call a religious life...
Yes; pardon, peace, life, are all of them gifts, Divine gifts, brought down from heaven by the Son of God, presented personally to each needy sinner by the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. They are not to be bought, but received; as
[people] receive the sunshine, complete and sure and free… They are not to be claimed on the ground of fitness or goodness, but of need and unworthiness, of poverty and emptiness.
Horatius Bonar (1808-1889), “How Shall I Go to God?”
Mercy
“Oh, Mercy! … Wherever I turn my thoughts, I find nothing but
mercy.”
(St. Catherine of Siena,
Dialogues 30).
And in this life mercy and forgiveness are our path and keep leading us on to grace.…
[F]or through the working of grace our fearful failing is transformed into abundant, eternal comfort, and through the working of grace our shameful falling is transformed into high, noble rising, and through the working of grace our sorrowful dying is transformed into holy, blessed life.
Julian of Norwich,
Revelations of Divine Love,
translated by Elizabeth Spearing
(London: Penguin, 1998), LT, 50, 48.
Now I find myself quite devoid of virtues, I can even say that I see none in me, and it seems to me that if the Good God called me to give an account of my deeds to him, I would find myself with empty hands, having no other recourse than his great Mercy. And with that I hope, I have confidence, and I abandon myself to his good pleasure with a calmness and a peace which nothing disturbs and which it seems to me that he alone can give.
Saint Thérčse
Couderc, Letter to Mother de Larochenégly, August 7, 1867
My Weakness
My own failures are many. My capacity for weakness on days seems undiminished. I am an embarrassment to myself and yet I am loved so wonderfully. There is perhaps one difference that my experiences with God have given me. I no longer weep tears of shame. I cry tears of joy and wonder. I am amazed by God and His power to love me. He makes all things work together for good. I'm not much of a challenge to His genius and creativity.
Graham Cooke,
“Making the Most of
Failure”
February
2007
One day a number of years ago, I fell asleep during my prayer. As I was sleeping, I heard a voice. Now wait… I want to be very clear that I don’t “hear voices” or see visions or anything extraordinary like that. I knew this was a dream voice. It spoke only two words:
“Enoch choices.”
I immediately woke up.
“Enoch choices?” I repeated. “What on earth does that mean?”
So, remembering that Enoch was mentioned in the Bible, I decided to look him up, and what I found was not one, but two
Enochs. The first was the son of Cain
(that child of Adam and Eve who committed the first murder), and the second was the descendant of
Abel (the son who was murdered).
Concerning the first Enoch Genesis says that his father “built a city, and named it Enoch after his son Enoch” (4:17).
So Enoch had a city named after him, a sure way, you would think, to have your name remembered. The possibilities boggle the mind. There could be an Enoch City Hall, Enoch Theater, Enoch Public Library, Enoch Post Office, and on and on.
However, there is a second Enoch who appears briefly in the next chapter of Genesis. This Enoch figures in the genealogy beginning with Adam and ending with the sons of Noah. He was the father of Methuselah, known for longevity. But what is most remarkable about this Enoch is stated in one verse:
“Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him” (5:24).
What happened to Enoch? The verse is very mysterious. Unl