RHODE ISLAND MEN OF ST JOSEPH

AN ASSOCIATION OF CATHOLIC MEN COMMITTED TO JESUS CHRIST

R.I. MEN OF ST. JOSEPH
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                                    February 23, 2005                   

                         RIMOSJ - Where a man can be a man and pray

 


MEETING OF STATE LEADERS - Parish leaders of the Rhode Island Men of St. Joseph discuss the programs in their parishes at their monthly meeting in January. (Visitor photo courtesy of the Rhode Island Men of St. Joseph)

By Michael Brown

Editor

PROVIDENCE - The Rhode Island Men of St. Joseph is sponsoring a Lenten day of reflection at the Cathedral of SS. Peter & Paul March 19, open to all men in the diocese. The theme of the conference, the fourth in a series of annual Lenten gatherings, is "The Eucharist - Source and Summit of Our Christian Faith Life."
Who are the Rhode Island Men of St. Joseph?


"We don't do anything," Father John C. Codega, chaplain at Salve Regina University in Newport and state chaplain of RIMOSJ, said modestly.
To say they "don't do anything" understates the impact that RIMOSJ has had on men in the diocese since its inception in the late 1990s. According to the group's Web site (www.members.cox.net/rimosjweb), there are currently eight parishes with active RIMOSJ groups, with an average of two or three new parish groups forming each year.

The difficulty in starting new parish groups comes from trying to explain how RIMOSJ is different, yet complementary, to other men's groups in the parish, Father Codega said. Mention St. Vincent de Paul or the Knights of Columbus and people usually think of social ministry, he noted. Think of Cursillo or a First Friday men's group, and people think of retreats and prayer.

"RIMOSJ doesn't sponsor anything," Father Codega added. "There's really nothing to compare it to."

The closest comparison might be the Protestant Promise Keepers movement, he noted. Promise Keepers was a popular movement in the 1990s in which men gathered in large forums to recommit themselves to their responsibilities as husbands and fathers. RIMOSJ, however, is more focused on parish-level gatherings, and Father Codega likened them to Renew groups that were popular here during the 1980s.

Men wishing to join RIMOSJ are asked to commit to the "five promises":

Father Codega noted that the need for a renewed spiritual grounding for men is obvious to anyone attending Mass in most parishes in the diocese: women predominate by an almost 4-1 margin.

"We need to get the men back into church," the priest said.

To do that, RIMOSJ usually holds monthly breakfasts and invites any man willing to attend. Usually, during breakfast, a member will stand up and talk about how his faith plays out in his life, allowing others the opportunity to relate their stories. Then, a featured speaker will discuss a topic having to do with church, usually explaining why the church teaches what it does in language geared to adults. In many situations, these breakfasts are held early on Saturday mornings so that by the time the program ends, it's about 9:30 a.m. and the men can go back to their families and take on the rest of the day.

The idea is simple: Men just need to be allowed to meet in a safe "manly" environment, to develop a sense of their own spiritual needs and to find a way to meet those needs, Father Codega said.

If that means getting involved in social ministry, then that's what St. Vincent de Paul or Knights of Columbus ministries are for; if it leads some to find more meaning in their lives, then men are encouraged to join parish retreats, the priest said. For some members, it means getting more involved in parish ministry as lectors or ushers, he added, even though RIMOSJ is not a recruiter for parish ministries.

Pastors and groups within the parishes are beginning to understand that membership in the RIMOSJ and activity in other areas are not mutually exclusive, Father Codega said. When parish leaders understand this, they have come to enthusiastically encourage RIMOSJ groups in their community.

RIMOSJ leaders also meet regularly to discuss their parish's progress, the priest said. When one group recently wanted to sponsor a parish Bible study, they were persuaded against it, although individual RIMOSJ members were encouraged to go forward with the plan. Avoiding a pull in one direction or another is the challenge, Father Codega said.

"We don't do meat pie dinners or rosary nights," he noted, adding that individuals within the group are encouraged to support those kinds of endeavors either on their own or with other groups in the parish. "We find there's a lot of overlap with other parish groups."

"This is just a way to encourage men to live their faith," he said.

The problem is that men who are 40 or older may not have been taught to have strong prayer lives when they were younger. At that time in the church, there was cultural turmoil following the Second Vatican Council. RIMOSJ provides men, especially that age group, an opportunity to gradually begin to learn how to foster a healthy prayer life, while encouraging them to be good role models and, even, to bring their sons to meetings.

"We want to have father and son praying together. It's all right that they pray together," Father Codega said. "If you are the church, how else do you teach your people how to pray?"

The priest noted that RIMOSJ might be resonating with a cultural shift in America, to place greater emphasis on faith and family values. "Perhaps the time now is ripe," he said. "It's always a good time to continue the growth of the church."

He noted, however, that the gatherings are non-political, although discussions that focus on ways to live out faith can have political side effects.

One anecdote underscored the sense of alienation men feel sometimes when they attend week-end Mass. During a Mass offered for RIMOSJ members, the timbre of the music was suddenly deeper and lower, the priest said. "The men started looking at each other as if they had never heard music like this before."

Father Codega noted that in most churches, "you have women playing the organ in an octave that's too high for men to sing." Although women have "brought many wonderful gifts to the church," very few recognized or realized that men's voices were being lost.

The priest encourages any man interested to attend a RIMOSJ meeting at a nearby parish. If he likes it, he should return again with a friend. After a few meetings, the man may want to approach his pastor to seek permission to set up a RIMOSJ group in his own parish. The good thing about RIMOSJ is that it places virtually no onus upon the parish priests or staff for support.

"We don't ask anything of the pastors," Father Codega said. "Just give us four or five guys and you don't have to do a thing."

RIMOSJ meetings around the state are as follows:


Woonsocket Call,  Woonsocket, RI

Sunday, May 25th 2003
http://www.woonsocketcall.com
 
 Men’s group follows path of St. Joseph
 BRYCE WITNER, Faith correspondent May 25, 2003
  
WOONSOCKET -- The firefighter says he was driven to his knees. 
"My wife had multiple sclerosis; my father was put in the hospital given little time to live; I’d lost money that I’d invested in my home and stock market."

Looking for answers, the firefighter went to a prayer meeting at one of his local parishes, but he was very skeptical. Walking into the prayer meeting for the first time, he saw a room, the majority of which was filled with women, and he began to question whether or not he should even be there. Just then, a man at the back of the room said, "I gave up my major league baseball career to follow Jesus."

When the former major league pitcher spoke with the firefighter, it put the firefighter at ease. The firefighter says that without the support of that former pitcher, he may have left that prayer meeting for feeling out of place in a prayer meeting made up predominantly of women.

Thirty years later, it’s 8 a.m. Monday, and that firefighter, now retired, sits around a table with other committee members of the Rhode Island Men of St. Joseph. While others are just arriving at work, these men are planning the next Catholic men’s conference, before they will head off to work as businessmen and Catholic lay ministers themselves.

Saturday morning, 7 a.m., while many are sleeping in for the weekend, a group of 40 men attend Mass together at St. Teresa’s Church in Pawtucket. Following the Mass, they share a catered breakfast in the church hall downstairs, and then listen to speakers from within the group share personal faith testimonies. By 9:30 or 10:00 a.m., the men are home with their families and have the rest of the weekend in front of them.

These events are just two examples over the last two weeks in which the Rhode Island Men of St. Joseph, recognized by the Diocese of Providence, have lived up to "five promises" they have made to themselves, and in doing so have strengthened their spiritual lives. A card displaying the five promises, distributed at their meetings, reads:

- Dedicate your life to the Lord and put him first in every area of your life ..participate in Sunday Mass with your family.

- Grow in the grace of Christian discipleship ..develop a personal prayer life and attend a weekday Mass once a month.

- Live with integrity and honesty ..experience the Sacrament of Reconciliation twice a year.

- Be faithful to your Christian vocation ..pray and spend time with your family and establish priorities and balance in your life.

- Meet together with brothers for support ..gather together with men for an annual conference and seasonal meetings.

Following the walk of St. Joseph, these men are part of a movement not only across Rhode Island, but across the entire Northeast. The committee for the Rhode Island Men of St. Joseph (RIMOSJ) seeks to build a men’s faith group in every Catholic parish in Rhode Island, and they have made consistent headway in reaching their goal since the organization first started five years ago. Eleven parishes in Rhode Island have men’s faith groups associated with the RIMOSJ; and men from all over the state attend the organization’s bi-annual weekend conferences.

The demand for such men’s faith groups is something the Catholic church recognized in a 1999 report at the National Conference of Catholic Bishops. "From Los Angeles to Chicago, from Manchester to Miami there is a growing hunger for God among Catholic men.They are meeting together in large and small groups, sharing their burdens, listening to each other’s stories, and celebrating Eucharist," said the report."Call it a revival, an awakening.Call it work of the Holy Spirit at the grassroots level. The emergence of new ministries with men is a welcome development within the Church."

It is not always easy to talk honestly about one’s own spiritual life, but the RIMOSJ stand up to the challenge in order to support and build up their faith, their families, and their community. "The ultimate goal is to get men to talk about their faith, and through that, to get them to become more involved in it," said Chaplain of the RIMOSJ, Father John Codega, who was an engineer before deciding to go back to the priesthood. "Some of the fruits have been that the guys are more involved in the church -- helping with religious education, lecturing, and ushering.It’s helped their families too.Some of the guys have been motivated to go on Cursillo retreats with their wives."

Committee member David Welsh affirms that his involvement has helped his family life: "I think it keeps me in check, so when I go home, I’m a little more relaxed.I have things in perspective, and I can share the excitement with my wife.She can see a difference when I come back from the gatherings that we have."

As a men’s group, the organization is cognizant of issues that pertain to men in ways that co-ed faith groups may not be: "Christian men need the support and affirmation of other men to become ‘men of God,’ " according to the organization’s literature. "Though we have consistently rejected the ‘macho’ stereotype and some other narrow stereotypes of the role of men, we have also denied the ‘unisex’ idea that claims that men and women are the same. Further, we also wish to state emphatically that we believe men and women have equal value and dignity, and should practice mutual complementarily in society, marriage, parish ministry, and service to the world. At the same time, we believe that men have unique gifts and needs. Although men and women can affirm and support each other as Christian disciples, men can best teach other men how to be Christian men."

It is no wonder that the group has chosen St. Joseph as a role model. "All the different roles that a man stands for in the church can be found in St. Joseph," said committee member, Anthony DeLuca."As a father, he was the chosen father of Jesus. As a husband, he was a support to the blessed mother Mary, and as a carpenter, he was a hard worker."

Having been a Providence firefighter for 21 years, and now a full-time Catholic lay minister for Renewal Ministries, the Diocesan Coordinator of the RIMOSJ, Don Turbitt, knows the importance of men’s faith groups in helping men feel comfortable at church. His experience has shown that lay meetings outside of church are 70 percent women and 30 percent men, and that the overwhelming female-to-male ratio, may make some men feel as if they have to give up some of their masculinity to attend the meetings. The RIMOSJ alleviate this male-concern through the nature of its all-male composition. "Guys are not easily evangelized, and most of them are very busy," says Turbitt. "But I do believe that if we’re going to have a strong church in the future, it has got to be built on the back of real men that can lead other men to Christ."

At the last prayer breakfast at St. Teresa’s in Pawtucket, member, Frank Crawley was a guest speaker giving his personal faith testimony in front of forty men.

"My faith is simple and childlike," he said. "It’s a win-win situation with Christ; I can’t lose. If I don’t get what I pray for, then I know it’s what God doesn’t want me to have, and I know that God will give me the grace to accept that."

Crawley’s testimony outlined four principles that he thought were important in helping men build up the church.The principles: courage, preparation, team-building, and optimism, had been outlined in former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani’s recent book about leadership.

The second speaker, member, Ed Creamer, spoke about the state of Catholic education in Rhode Island, a subject that he is very familiar with, having worked for the Diocese for 14 years as a business administrator. He said roughly 20,000 primary and secondary school students attend more than 50 Catholic schools across Rhode Island, making the Catholic school system the second-largest school district in the state, the first being the Providence public school system. Creamer said that the government spends $10,000 a year per pupil in the public school system, which means that the 20,000 students in Catholic schools save the government roughly $200,000,000 a year. Creamer’s speech explored some of the financial challenges facing the Catholic school system in an effort to try to find solutions to these challenges. He also emphasized how Catholic schools develop students spiritually, as well as academically, and he encouraged the men to donate to Catholic education financially and with their time.

The RIMOSJ is different than some other men’s organizations because it is primarily interested in developing men’s prayer life, and each members personal relationship with God, more so than it is concerned with performing service projects.

"A lot of groups have a lot of activities, like painting a hall, but that’s not our intention," said Turbitt."Our intention is to get men committed to Christ, to build their prayer lives, and their sacramental life -- have them receive the Eucharist, get them going to confession, and to Mass during the week."

The RIMOSJ emphasizes that it does not intend to take away from other men’s organizations already in existence in Rhode Island, such as the Knights of Columbus, but that for some men the RIMOSJ can be a spiritual supplement. "This group is more of a spiritual group than it is a service men’s group.We’re not competing with any other groups, we’re not trying to take any men from them, but if they’re looking for a spiritual outlet for their faith, then the RIMOSJ offers them an outlet," Welsh said.

How it Started and Plans for the Future:

Five years ago, the New Hampshire Men of St. Joseph called Father John Allard, a priest here in Rhode Island, looking to extend the Men of St. Joseph all over New England. Allard approached Don Turbitt, who had been active in the Promise Keepers, an ecumenical men’s faith group, located around the country.

Turbitt is also a missionary for Renewal Ministries, and has traveled for them to 13 different countries, across Eastern and Western Europe, as well as Africa.His next trip is planned for Russia.

Turbitt joined a committee for the Men of St. Joseph that had representatives from all six New England states. The Diocese of Providence assigned Father John Codega to be the chaplain to the RIMOSJ.David Welsh, also a member of the Promise Keepers, joined the RIMOSJ committee, as well as John Dowd, Craig Cotton, and most recently Anthony DeLuca.

Over the last few years, the committee has planned annual men’s conferences. The first couple of conferences had attendance slightly over 200. From those big events, contacts were made, and men began forming smaller men’s faith groups in their respective parishes. Within the last year, the committee has segmented Rhode Island into four quadrants, and a committee member is responsible for trying to grow the men’s ministry in each quadrant. The hope is that eventually every Catholic parish in Rhode Island, 153 parishes, will have a men’s faith group.

"This is just the beginning, a stepping stone," said DeLuca. "The goal is to develop a closer relationship with Jesus, and once that starts to happen people get hungry and want to be involved with others to work for the Lord. The RIMOSJ is just a tool to bring people to God."

In response to the question about what DeLuca gets out of the RIMOSJ, DeLuca said, "As a member, it’s been one of the few opportunities for Catholic men to get together in the state.On the other end, on the committee level, we’ve been able to build our own small group -- to build each other up.I look at it more about what we’re going to get out of it, than what we get right now."

Men interested in the RIMOSJ can look at its Web site --
 
©The Call 2003 
 
 

©2006 Rhode Island Men of St Joseph

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