Questions
Humor - Questions
- After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting
out of the water?
- If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
- If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands
with soap?
- If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does he
automatically lose because he can't find himself?
- What's another word for synonym?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
- When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
- Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers
aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
- How can there be self-help groups?
- If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
- What is the speed of dark?
- Since cats always land on their feet and jelly bread always lands
jelly-side down, what happens if you tie jelly bread to the back of a cat?
- When you're sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
- Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
- If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network,
should you plan a surprise birthday party for them?
- If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of
earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
- If you take a shower, where do you put it?
- If you bear a child, why do you have a cow?
- Who tows the tow trucks when they break down?
- How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
- If God sneezes, what should you say?
- What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
- Aren't all generalizations false?
- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you
can't drink and drive?
- Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is
prohibited there?
- Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
- If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
- Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
- If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
- Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a
shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?
- Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
- How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
- If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when
you're done?
- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
- Where are Preparations A through G?
- If a tree falls in the woods, and lands on a mime, does
anyone care?
- Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
- If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
- Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience
cocoons in their stomach?
- When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed
to throw the top one away?
- When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does
he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
- When people lose weight, where does it go?
- What happened to the first 6 ups?
- If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a
lemon called a yellow?
- Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
- Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
- If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
- If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
- What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
- Why do we have hot water heaters? Isn't hot water already hot?
- Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Won't they all stop eventually?
- Does anybody ever vanish with a trace?
- If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet?
- If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic,
wouldn't they call you first?
- Why do they mark containers this end up? If you can read the
marking, isn't that end already up?
- Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
- Why is it so hard to remember how to spell mnemonic?
- Why is it called a TV set when you only get one?
- Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
- Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
- If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep
going wrong?
- Shouldn't there be a shorter word for monosyllabic?
- Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
- Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
- Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
- If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- What is another word for thesaurus?
- If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their
lights off?
- If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read
correctly?
- If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
- If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the
right to remain silent?
- What do you do when you see an endangered animal that
eats only endangered plants?
- Why is the word abbreviate so long?
- How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
- If inert is to be stationary, what is ert?
- If people from Poland are called poles, why aren't people
from Holland called holes?
- Why are there never any artist's materials in a Drawing room?
- What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?
- Why do people who only eat natural foods drink
decaffeinated coffee?
- Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?
- Why are the cabs from the Yellow Cab Company painted orange?
- Why does bottled water have an expiration date?
- If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he have armpits?
- If a jogger runs a the speed of sound can he still hear his walkman?
- There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case...coincidence?
- Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
- Why are there no B batteries?
- How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
- Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
- When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
- Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at
the Special Olympics?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- Why doesn't superglue stick to its container?
- Is it possible to be totally partial?
- Why do bars advertise live bands? What does a dead band
sound like?
- How come Luke Skywalker never told Darth Vader to
"Turn to the light side of the Force?"
- Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
- Did Adam and Eve have navels?
- Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
- Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling
"Movie! Movie!"?
- If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
- Why do they sing take me out to the ballgame, at a ballgame,
when they are already there?
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