At the Memorial Service Friday in our National Cathedral, Rev. Billy Graham said, "Tuesday September 11, 2001 was a day that will be remembered."
I turned on the television that dreadful morning at 6:00 am Pacific Time and watched the events unfold as they happened. I cannot say that I was surprised that we were experiencing a terrorist attack. My first thoughts were a smug, "I told you so." I was very detached from the events for several minutes.
It was not until the Twin Towers fell to the ground and the sky showed through the dust where the towers had stood that reality sank in. Suddenly the realities of the events ripped their way into my consciousness. Part of America was gone. Part of our lives was being changed forever. The world would never be the same. America would never be the same. We would never be the same. I would never be the same.
A sickening feeling began to form in the pit of my stomach. The suppressed demon memories of World War II and the Cold War arose from the crypts of my mind and I felt like the frightened child from long ago. For a while I became the child crying for his soldier dad. The little kid kneeling beside his bed naming every soldier friend and relative in prayer. Listening to the radio to see if we had been attacked. Wanting a bomb shelter in my backyard.
It was a day of nostalgia and disbelief. The carnage was too much to process. It was a day of shock. We hugged and clung to each other.
Wednesday was a day of anger. I wanted my M1 rifle back and an opportunity to kill the barbarians. We spoke harsh words and expressed great feelings of anger.
Thursday was the beginning of a lingering grief that will never end. We are hurting deep within our souls. The hurt goes on and on and on.
Friday I felt compelled to express my feelings in writing or burst. I cried and cried and cried. We cried. All of the days of this week were days of prayer, unending prayers. We begged the Lord to help us.
Today, we must remember the fallen and move on. We grieve for what might have been, the lives that were shattered, the dreams that were lost, the gifts they would have given to the world, and the love of which their relatives and friends have been robbed. We grieve for lost freedoms. And we grieve for the lost innocence of our children.
The fallen are all soldiers in a war for freedom. We must revere their memory and pray for their families. We must never forget what happened to them. We must learn from this experience. And build an impenetrable fortress of strength and love that will never allow it to happen again.
Those of us gathered here in our Senior Living Community have known war. We have known defeat. And we have known victory. We are concerned and we are wrestling with our memories, but we know that by the grace of God we will move on.
Our children, though, are not equipped to process what they are feeling. The situation does not compute. The world of "me" is not all there is now. War is not a video game now. War is real. It is here now. Their realities have been amplified and changed forever. We must respond to what they are feeling with love, understanding, and assurance. We must listen to them and hug them.
Ignorant people are committing hateful deeds towards people of Islamic faith. We must understand that Osama bin Laden does not represent their faith any more than Timothy McVey represented Christianity. Timothy McVey was a madman. Osama and his little band of men are madmen too. My Islamic friends are gentle peoples of faith as are my Hindu, Hebrew, Christian, and Buddhist friends. We must be careful with our anger. All people have one father. He is in heaven. He made us sisters and brothers of the earth. We must remember that as we do what we must do.
What we have to do now is not acceptable, but we have to do it. The paradoxes between love, judgment, and discipline tears our faithful and loving hearts. We may need to harm but we cannot hate. We may cause suffering but we must feel compassion. We must must protect the right of all to worship Jesus Christ in an environment of freedom.
At a prayer meeting on the evening of our Great Tragedy, our parish priest, Fr. Jon Coffey said, "At the heart of our faith is forgiveness. But, justice is consistent with forgiveness. Forgiveness simply keeps us from becoming slaves to revenge." He was right.
Now, we must have the courage and confidence to do what we must do. We must be swift and just. The demon memories must be returned to the crypts of our minds and put to sleep again forever.
Our faith and flag must rise above the dust of destruction.
O God, make speed to save us. O Lord, make haste to help us.