by dan robling
LSD
Did you know that I am an expert on LSD? I am! Today I will teach you things about LSD that no other teacher will ever tell you. "Acid" changes the way your thought processes work. Some of the changes are temporary. Some are permanent. The amount of permanent change is not predictable. The permanent changes are accumulative. I have known people who were "fried" with one "hit." Others took twenty. Other hallucinogenic drugs work similarly.
The greatest thrill of my life was the first look at our first-born child. It was an amazing experience. There were little hands and feet moving. He was sucking his fist and trying to open his eyes. He was a miracle and we were part of the process of creating that beautiful child. Thinking about that first look at him still takes my breath away.
The next fifteen years were the happiest of my life. We did not have to make time in our lives for that lovely child. We had to make time for our lives with him in our world. He was beautiful, a genius, and very artistically talented. People paid fifty to one hundred dollars to frame his pictures. That is equal two hundred of today's dollars.
He was my best buddy. We played, prayed, cried, and laughed together. Neighbors and friends loved his pleasant and courteous nature. They wanted their children to "hang" with him hoping that he would be a good influence on them.
He was growing up in a somewhat affluent family, neighborhood, and school environment. We gave him everything possible, even our dreams. We did not have PCs, video games, or VCRs in those days. There were fewer options for amusement than we have today. One day, he and some friends thought they would be adventuresome and try something new for amusement. They tried acid (LSD). They were not being malicious. It seemed like an innocent lark to them.
He was "fried" after a few weeks. Most of his life for the following ten years was spent in mental hospitals. He spends about half of each year in mental hospitals since the first ten years. Sometimes he disappears. We could not find him for all of 1999. He was a street person in Indianapolis. It was twenty-seven degrees below zero one night the winter before we moved to Scottsdale. Can you imagine how horrible it would be to be a street person in Indianapolis?
He lives in subsidized apartments in the a large metropolitan area. He receives Disability Social Security for his mental illness. I call him every day while driving home from school. Some days we have a loving conversation. Some years he is not there to answer. During his best days, he is depressed as he thinks about the childhood decisions that permanently altered his earthly life. He is sad because it is not possible for him to ever have another happy day. He has nothing to look forward to. He has no good days...just some that are not as bad as others.
He does not remember 1999 or most of his bad days. I have not seen him during the past four years.
If you could ask him to describe one positive thing that resulted from his drug use, he would tell you that nothing good came from it.
His decision, though not malicious, not only destroyed his chances for happiness, it ripped a hole in my heart that will never heal. The pain is unbearable. Every day I visit my place of worship. I pray for my son and cry. The pain never eases. If I live to be a hundred years old, the pain and tears will never stop. His inappropriate decision permanently changed the lives of everyone who loved him. He is now forty-two years old.
His decision also changed the lives of everybody who would learn to love him in the future. Friends spent the year of 1999 searching for him, even through the chilling Indiana winter nights. They feared for his life.
I am not sharing this story to benefit the unfortunate students in this group who are already doing drugs. If you are "using," I cannot help you. You probably cannot help yourselves. I am talking to those of you whom these fools are trying to entice to join in their dangerous adventures.
I know they are telling you how "cool" it is. While you consider becoming "cool" like them, please make a promise to me. As you are tempted to take your first "hit," think about my son and the pain he endures. Think about never having another happy day. Think about the hole in my heart that will never heal. Think about everyone who loves you. Then think about everyone who may learn to love you in the future. Then decide what you want your life to be like when you are forty-two.
Dan Robling 2001