Happy Holidays to all from Bogart, back again to bring you the 2005 news (from a dog’s-eye view) here at the Roesler household!  And just for the record:  I’m getting a little old and arthritic, so I cannot possibly be guilty of everything of which I’ve been accused this year.  That sheepskin for example, atomized itself---clearly one of Dad’s weird science experiments gone awry, which he then in desperation attempted to blame on me.  Here’s a photo of me so you can see how thin and malnourished I am---they almost never feed me. I’m practically starving, all the time.  You should send me a care package of food. 

               First of all, my humans want you to know that they are very blessed:  healthy, happy, well-provisioned.  They’ve been working really hard this year to pare down on stuff, so they humbly ask that if you’re thinking of getting them more stuff for Christmas that you rethink this and make a donation to your favorite charity instead.  (In order to reduce the use of trees and save costs of postage, you are probably receiving this annual “State of the Household” report by email.  The cost of postage saved will be donated to Mercy Ships.)  Our favorite charities include Mercy Ships (http://www.mercyships.org) for Dad, American Cancer Society (www.cancer.org) and Food for the Poor (www.foodforthepoor.org)  for Mom, animal causes such as Equine Savior (www.equinesavior.org) for me, Bogart….and of course mom’s own charity, the Simple Gifts Foundation (www.simplegifts.us).  For those of you who can’t resist and absolutely have to get them something, think “small or consumable” (like dog biscuits….errr, I mean like wine!).  

               It’s been a robot-filled year for Gordon, but the highlight of it all had to be the DARPA Grand Challenge!  Robot cars had to navigate through over 130 miles of tough desert terrain with no human help. Although at the 2004 Challenge no robotic car made it more than 7 miles, this year five cars finished!  Here’s a photo of Stanley, the winner (the blue VW Tuareg) along with two other entries.  (The writing above the wheel well says “Drivers not required.”)  I wonder if these unmanned cars will be easier or harder for us dogs to chase?

            Dad’s “robotic space tug”, SUMO, received a huge boost in funding this year and so some day will be the first satellite tow truck in space!

OK, let’s get this year’s milestones out of the way.  Mom and Dad have been married 10 years as of December 20, 2005.  Gordon was accepted for membership this year in the Alexandria Woodlawn Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers). Mom is still studying whirling.  And, as a result of her work with her 501.c.3 prison charity, the Simple Gifts Foundation (http://www.simplegifts.us), Stacia was asked to sit on the Quaker’s Restorative Justice Committee (even though she’s not a Quaker).  By the way, Simple Gifts always needs sponsors, so please consider making a fully tax-deductible donation: a great last minute holiday gift (especially for someone who is already blessed with everything s/he needs) is a sponsorship contribution in his or her name.

            In April mom and dad went to the Burch family reunion in Las Vegas, and then on to the Grand Canyon with Stacia’s brother Mike and nephew Tyler ---first time there for all of them!

Because my humans travel so much on business, and I’m such a spoiled, high-maintenance dog, they ran out of friends to impose upon in caring for me while they were away. I’m too spoiled to be kenneled, of course, so in April I got my very own live-in dog nanny!   Her name is Amanda.  She’s really good to me, and I love her as much as I love mom and dad.

The big vacation this year was Hawaii---it was mom’s first time there, but Dad lived there for a year when he was a kid.  They snorkeled and even took surfing lessons!   And Mom learned to make leis. Here’s a photo she took of Diamond Head, when they were out on a catamaran.  (I hate cats!  Woof!)  I didn’t get to go.

          For 4th of July mom and dad went to Austin, Texas to   check  it out as a possible retirement spot, but it was TOO HOT.  They had a lot of fun going to a rodeo and a local county fair though!  (Or so they tell me----I didn’t get to go.)            

            Then Satacia spent a week in August at Pennsic, the Medieval camp of the Society for Creative Anachronism. 

Dad was traveling so mom went with her friend Jeannie.  They dressed up and pretended to be pirates with Jeannie’s  crew, the Tygersharks.   I didn’t get to go to that, either---have you noticed how mistreated I am? (Did I mention that they never even feed me?)   Instead I was forced to stay home alone with the ravishing Amanda.  

               Many of you have probably heard that Dad will be taking a year off when his DARPA job ends in February.  My humans aren’t sure what they’ll be doing during this time (Mom says she has to keep working to keep Dad in single malt Scotch and me in dog food) but they’re planning a trip around the country to look for retirement spots.  Mom works from home so she can work from anywhere, as long as there’s an airport nearby in case she has to travel.  They even said I’d get to go along most of the time!  So maybe we’ll stop in and see YOU next year---but only if dogs are welcome!  (If you have a cat infestation problem, I can clear that up for you while I’m there.)

            Mom is still really busy at IBM.  She got rid of that account she had in Denver, but in exchange she got the Philip Morris account.  At least it’s closer to home, since they’re headquartered in Richmond and New York City.  She also still has the accounts for Sheraton Hotels, AXA Financial, and Maersk Shipping  (two international accounts and two domestic). She says she loves her job, there’s just too much of it---it would be much more comfortable if she had one less account.

            As for my boy and girl, Ben is still in Richmond and will be doing a 5th year at Virginia Commonwealth to finish up his degree in English.  He transferred there from RIT, and VC wouldn’t accept a lot of his credits from there (when he was majoring in photography).   Hope and Stephen are still happily married and living nearby in Lorton. 

             Dad just got back from the Army/Navy game and is very pleased that the Mids trounced Army so soundly, winning the Commander in Chief trophy and leading the series against Army (50 USN, 49 USA).  This year was Dad’s 30th college reunion at USNA, so we attended Homecoming and got to see many of the guys from his class of 1975.  The Navy does pageantry really well, so the Homecoming game featured skydivers and a jet flyover. 

               

Mom also took several trips to California again this year.  Most of them were to try to help her elderly dad, age 87.  Although he’s still living alone (and adamant that he’ll never ever go into assisted living), it’s dicey as to how much longer he’ll be able to care for himself.   He was scheduled twice this year for a surgery that he needs in order to repair a hernia, and both times it got called off at the last minute because his blood pressure was too high.  But one very special trip to California was to meet her brother Don at the gates when he was released from prison in August.  He’s on parole in San Diego, has gotten a job and a car, and is slowly piecing his life back together. His wife filed for divorce while he was in prison.

                 I know what you’ve been waiting for!  Well, in order not to disappoint my loyal fan club, here are this year’s doggie haikus:

                                                               

My feelings are hurt….                                                   Good thing I’m so cute!

don’t know where your pork chop went!                          Long ears and sad eyes excuse     

(Are you buying this?)                                                         Multitudes of sins.

 

 

Basset musk?  No bath---                                                 Staring at the sky

I’m supposed to smell like this!                                       I see that Canis Major

Your guests will not mind.                                                                 Is a Basset Hound.

 

 

                                                                                               

    I’ve got this nuke and

                    I’m tired of begging, pal….

                    Give me all your food!

 

 

 

 

Christmas Greetings from Bogart (“I am NOT a bad dog!”) Roesler