Here is the definitive story as to why you NEVER arrive in the Port of Departure on the same day you sail. 100 % True Story!

Princess Air Travel, Princess Shuttle and Embarkation

(Embarkation Lines? – What lines?) 

Princess air was Delta Airlines from Reagan Washington National Airport to Atlanta then on to San Juan, Puerto Rico. Here was an interesting experience with lessons learned, but I already knew them, they were just reinforced. This is a whole standup routine from I Love Lucy, that’ll be in chapter 15 of my book, entitled “...And They Ask Me Why I Drink”.

Sunday 5am

I hit the floor, do the bathroom thing, get downstairs to the kitchen and look at the outdoor weather station – Temp-77.7 degrees, Humidity-77%, wow, my lucky day, all sevens. (Gotta play that number) Coffee is up, roust the rest of the crew, Deb, Julie and Tom. It’s Cruise Day! Something to eat for all that want it, put the last items in the suitcases, lock ‘em up with TSA approved locks, assemble everything in the front hall by the door, check the list – tickets, passports for all, cash in pockets for tips, sunglasses for the Caribbean, reading glasses to pass the time away at the airport and to read the “SkyMall” magazine on the plane. Oh yeah, the cat has food, water and fresh litter. This is gonna be cool... OK, the cab was ordered last night for a 6am pickup, at 5:55am everyone is on station and ready to go, this is amazing and really great. At 6:05am I know the cab will be here at any moment, not to worry... I call the cab company and get a recording that doesn’t sound good, “We’re sorry but the person you’re calling is not available” UH-OH! So I call their competitor – Same recording... I call the old trusted one, not exactly in Alexandria and get a really nice lady and explain what’s going on – I get put on hold, but she came back and says a cab will be there in 7 minutes, OK I can do that. In 5 minutes, the cab calls and he’s there – I should have called them to begin with. Outstanding! A van with enough room for us all and the luggage, including golf clubs for Tom, who is playing in Aruba, in order to tell his friends. Off to the airport in plenty of time, check in at the Delta curb service, then to the gate with “forever” to spare. Flight is at 8:05am and it’s only 6:45am. Time to relax and watch the airport come alive. At 7:40am the announcement for the flight is on the PA system with, “There will be a slight delay, while the plane is rescanned by security” – now, this plane has been at the gate overnight - who the hell was watching it? At 8:15am, the PA says that a “used medical bag was found on-board, which prompted this procedure”. We only have about 45 minutes between flights in Atlanta, I’m doing the numbers and, HA – this is too close for comfort. OK they’ll make it up by flying under the radar at supersonic speeds – Yeah, right! We’re in the air and it’s gonna be close, but my optimism will get us there on time. Pull into the gate at 10:17am for a 10:25 am flight – NOT! People were shrieking, running and sprinting to a gate in Atlanta that was near the finish line of the 1996 summer Olympics, on the other side of “Underground Atlanta”! Being a calm person, I looked at the departure board, found our flight and it said – DEPARTED! UH-OH!... Now, the next flight to SJU is around noon-ish, that’ll get us there in plenty of time – NOT.

By now, the whole East Coast is totally screwed, the domino's are starting to fall – American Airlines and US Air’s computer system has apparently crashed, bad weather is affecting the Northeast, Philadelphia’s airport is closed, Bush and Kerry are trading barbs, the famine in the Sudan is still going on and I just want to take my #*$%& cruise.

 Now, Delta is doing all that they can and Super Kudos to the gate personnel. The next two flights are over-booked, plus all the backup in Atlanta that not even Ex-Lax can release. Looks like we’ll have to meet the ship in St. Thomas on Monday... maybe. Delta says that it’s gonna take a couple of days to straighten out this mess. Eight hours in Atlanta’s airport is not fun. We wander from gate to gate looking for a seat in the cargo hold. Oh yeah, the luggage is on it’s way to SJU, I hope it enjoys the cruise! Well, Julie hooked up with a gate supervisor that took her to heart and this lady did everything in her power to make things right. She was trying to upgrade the plane (larger airframe) to accommodate all of the stuck passengers on her watch, it didn’t work. By now there were at least a couple dozen stranded passengers. This gate supervisor was determined to get all the cruise passengers to SJU to catch their ships. Finally, we got seats on a 6:20pm flight. They basically pulled 4 seats from unchecked boarding passes and gave them to us. The gate attendant called SJU and alerted them that there were a number of Princess passengers, on-the-way and would arrive about 10:00pm. We were advised that the Princess shuttles would be there until 10:00pm. As you can imagine, the plane was late leaving Atlanta (well, duh), and we got off the plane at about 9:55pm. Tom and I ran to the baggage area for the luggage that had been there for about 6 hours, I went for the luggage and Tom went for the Princess shuttle bus rep. WE FOUND ALL OF THE LUGGAGE AND THE PRINCESS REP! Deb and Julie joined us with about 50 other Princess passengers. Roared to the dock, were met by another Princess rep and were told to that the embarkation procedure had been modified – Oh My God, now what... “Show your ID to the Security Officer at the terminal entrance, and proceed, - without stopping, waiting for the infirm, or anyone wanting to take your picture with a really stupid smile, and don’t try to buy booze to smuggle on board, -  directly to the gangway and onto the ship”. We did so, picked up our Princess cards, boarded the ship and head a noise that was really sweet... The gangway being pulled away for sailing. NOW, THAT WAS AN EMBARKATION! Lines, schmines, who needs ‘em. Stress, what stress? Lesson, GO THE DAY, WEEK, MONTH, (move to San Juan) BEFORE THE CRUISE!... and NEVER allow 45 minutes for a connecting flight.