Concept of the Month -- June 2009

Identifying Thinking Errors in Child Custody Cases

Previous concepts of the month have focused on errors of thinking that offenders/victimizers make. However, in some adversarial child custody cases, these same errors in thinking are present.

For example, both parents will claim to want whatever is in the "best interest" of the child. However, their behavior toward each other clearly puts the child in the middle as he becomes a pawn during their battle to control each other. The parents' objective becomes "winning" at any cost. Their offspring are in the crosshair of what may become a ruthless battle to defeat each other. The emotional price their sons and daughters pay is often steep.

The parents may see "winning" as a referendum on their own self-worth. Child custody becomes a trophy. Each warring parent builds himself up by putting down the other. These parents are quick to dish out offensive comments but become enraged when an insult is directed at them.

Conscience may be shut off as the parents unscrupulously use any means to achieve their ends. They may pride themselves as moral, law-abiding citizens. But they are anything but moral as they commit unconscionable acts in their attempt to prevail as the parent deserving custody of the child. They force their children into a position of having to choose when all these boys and girls desire is to have a good relationship with both of them.

Parents locked in such struggles fail to put themselves in the place of each other and fail to consider the needs of the children. Everything centers around them and what they want, not what will benefit their offspring.

Unfortunately, some of these wars never end. Even after the ink is dry on the final custody order, these parents are unrelenting. They periodically take each other to court continuing to wage what is a perpetual battle to destroy their spouse who then becomes their ex-spouse. Even if they remarry, the battle continues.


Past Concepts of the Month

2009

May: Narcissism and the Antisocial Personality Disorder -- a Lot in Common
April:
Lies- "A Taint of Death"
March:
The Criminal Who Wants To Change -- Where's the Excitement?
January/February:
The "Conscience" of the Perpetrator of Fraud or, How a Beloved and Trusted Person Preys Upon Friends, Closest Associates, and Long Time Acquaintances


2008

December: A "Non-concept" but Information, Nonetheless, for December...
November:
The All or Nothing Thinking of the Criminal
October:
The Argument that there is "Larceny in Every Soul" is Hollow
September:
When "Rehab" and Alcoholics Anonymous is Not Enough
August:
The Alleged Relationship Between Attention Deficit Disorder and Criminality
July:
Peer Pressure as a Causal Factor in Criminal Behavior?
May/June:
"Errors in Thinking" Apply to the Alcoholic or Problem Drinker
April:
Early Identification of Antisocial Behavior - Part I
March:
Does the Criminal "Burn Out" with Age?
February:
More on the Role of the Social Environment
January:
Does Prison Make a Person a "Worse Criminal"?

2007

November/December: The Male Criminal's Choice of Women
October:
An Alternative View of "Compulsive" Gambling
September:
The Primacy of Thinking
August:
Dick Diver from F. Scott Fitzgerald's "Tender Is the Night": A comment on a 1920's narcissist and today's celebrity narcissists
July:
Another "Addiction"?
June:
Musings about City Safety - USA and Spain
May:
Virginia Tech: Can a Future School Shooter be Identified?
April:
White Collar Crime and Street Crime: Similar Thought Processes
March:
More on "Addiction" as a "Disease"
February:
The Criminal and Suicidal Thinking
January:
"I think, therefore I feel": The Primacy of Thinking

2006

December: The Overuse and Misuse of the Word "Addiction"
November:
The Social Environment Does Not "Cause" Crime
October:
"Anna Karenina" -- A Study in Character
September:
The Concept of "Nonarrestable" Criminality
August:
A Note on "Copycat" Violent Crimes
July:
How "Errors in Thinking" Apply to Pedophiles
June:
Suggestibility and the Juvenile Offender
May:
Part I: Anger and the Criminal

April:
An Expanded Concept of "Criminality"
March:
Neurotic Features in the Individual with an Antisocial Personality Disorder
February:
Sporadic Remorse Elevates the Criminal's View of Himself as a Good Person
December05/January:
Can A Criminal Learn to be Empathic? -- Parts I and II

2005

November:
"Compulsive" Gambling: Mental Disorder or Irresponsibile Choices?
September/October:
Opportunistic Looting as in the Aftermath of Hurricane Katrina
August:
"Kleptomania": A Reality or a Psychiatric Invention?
July:
"Love" -- The Criminal's Experience is Extremely Limited
June:
The Problem with "Anger Management"
May:
Religion in the Criminal's Good Opinion of Himself/Herself
April:
From Maudlin Sentiment to Savage Brutality
March:
The Use of the Offender's Language is Counterproductive in Interviewing and Counseling
February:
The Concept of "Confrontation" in Helping Offenders Change
January:
"I think, therefore it is so": A Costly Error of Thinking

2004
2003
2002

December 2004 - A Clarification about the Alleged Causal Connection between the Larger Social Environment and Criminal Behavior

November 2004 - Does the Criminal Experience Remorse?

October 2004 - Thinking in Extremes

September 2004 - Peer Pressure

August 2004--Reading and Poetry Do Not a Reformed Criminal Make

July 2004 -- What the Drug-Using Criminal Really Means by a "High"

June 2004 -- The Criminal's Anger Results from Fear

May 2004 -- Typing Offenders by the Crime for Which They Are Arrested -- Concealing More than Revealed?

April 2004 -- The Criminal Does Learn from Experience

March 2004 -- The Criminal's Shutting off Conscience

February 2004 -- The Criminal's Lack of a Concept of Interdependence

January 2004 -- The Criminal and "Low Self-Esteem"

January 2003 -- Control: For a worthy aim or for its own sake?

March 2003 -- Bipolar Disease or the Ups and Downs of the Antisocial Person's Unrealistic Expectations?

April 2003 -- "Out of Character Crime" is Not Out of Character

May 2003 -- The Armed Bank Robber and the Corporate Crook are One and the Same

June 2003 -- Drug Addiction: A Caution about the Disease Concept

July 2003 -- Dependence versus Exploitation

August 2003 -- Drugs as Escape or as Facilitators?

September 2003 -- Criminality and Suggestibility

October 2003 -- The Futility of Focusing on Causes of Criminal Behavior When Evaluating and Counseling Adult or Juvenile Offenders

November 2003 -- The Criminal Knows Right From Wrong

December 2003 -- Can A Criminal Learn From Experience?

May 2002 -- Working to Eliminate Anger

June 2002 -- Self Esteem: What is it?

July 2002 -- Can An Agent of Change be Both a Counselor and a "Cop"?

August 2002 -- Chronic Drug Abuse -- For "Escape" or  Excitement?

September 2002 -- "Respect" in the Street Sense versus Respect in the Responsible World

October 2002 -- Power and Control -- Legitimate or Not?

November 2002 -- "Addiction" -- the disease concept in treating criminals

December 2002 -- Does the Criminal Have a Conscience?


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