Communication vital in our “hidden life” with God & others
| Total Openness - Father Nick Schiro outlined the five levels of communication and prompted July 2004 retreatants to consider - among other things - at which levels the Holy Family might have communicated with each other. This devotional shrine to the Holy Family, located in the gardens near Manresa’s Xavier Hall, helps with that visualization. | |||
MANRESA RETREAT INSTRUCTION OUTLINES FIVE LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION
“We don't know much about Jesus' early life,” Father Nick Schiro begins his lecture. This is his seventh such lecture, or “instruction” as it is called here at Manresa House of Retreats. Over the course of three days, he will give a total of eleven of these thirty-minute instructions to 109 men on their annual July retreat. “Jesus’ early life is sometimes referred to as his ‘hidden life,’” he says. “We need to ask ourselves,” he subtly challenges each man listening, “how does my hidden life - those parts of my life that others don’t know much about, such as when I come home from work - compare with that of the Holy Family?” Offering a brief pause for reflection and transition, the informed priest peruses his notes. “John Powell,” he continues, “described five levels of conversation.” It seems only for a moment to be a new lecture topic. But as Father Schiro expounds upon each of the five levels (paraphrased below), the retreatants begin to see where they fall into each level in their hidden life with their families, at which levels the Holy Family might have communicated with each other, and at which level we each communicate with God.
CLICHÉ
Starting at the fifth (and lowest) level of conversation, we limit ourselves to what is called “cliché” conversation. At this level, conversation is very superficial and hardly anything is communicated. Many of our greetings, even among those close to us, are clichés. “Hey, how are you doing?” one might ask. Many times, the answer is automatic - even a person who is ill or is having a terrible day may reply, “Fine.”FACT
At the next higher level, we engage in conversation that is simply reporting information. We reveal nothing of ourselves at this level of conversation. When the information is about others, and when it is hurtful or untrue, it is known as gossip.OPINION
The third level of conversation deals with ideas and judgments. We usually only engage in this level of conversation as long as we get reactions of interest or attention. If the person we are speaking to expresses disinterest or contradicts our opinion, we usually retreat to a lower level of conversation.EMOTIONS
Stepping up to the second level of conversation, we communicate our feelings and emotions. These are the most personal things about ourselves. Whether we are Republican or Democrat, or we are for or against space exploration, there are many others that support us in our conviction. But the underlying feelings that support those convictions are uniquely mine. It is these feelings that we must share with each other if we want to tell them who we really are. In order for a relationship to be a true personal encounter, it must be based on this honest, open, gut-level communication.TOTAL OPENNESS
The top level of conversation is peak communication. It is a feeling of harmony, a complete emotional and personal communion. Just as we should strive for higher levels of communication with our families, the same thing works in our communication with God. We can achieve peak communication if we openly, honestly and humbly tell Him our gut feelings. There are certain rules that can help us attain higher levels of communication. To begin with, expressing our feelings should not include judgment or blame; these will hinder communication. And whatever our feelings are, we should express them in a way that nobody gets hurt. Father Schiro has the complete attention of the retreatants, each man now resolving to identify and improve his own method of communicating with his family. He says that the Holy Family found joy in openness and sharing their feelings with each other, and that we need to do the same with our own families. Before concluding, Father Schiro says that another aspect of our hidden life is our hidden life with God. We need to ask ourselves if we have developed spiritually. It may help to think back - when did you first go to church? What were the first prayers you learned? Think about your first Mass, your first Communion, and who taught you about your faith. How has your “hidden life” with God developed since then?