05/28/05
01. Chinese (Japanese?) Kimba the White Lion (maybe?) LP
Two dollars at Red White & Blue thrift store. As I've mentioned, RW&B's vinyl section always seems to be a cut above the other thrift stores in the area. One reason for this is because they often get strange foreign language records in stock. Okay, so Kimba the White Lion isn't that strange. But this is:
Another RW&B find, Vader Abraham's "Au pays des Schtroumpfs" defies all logic by actually being a pretty good listen! This record is, of course, about the Smurfs, but their annoying la la la-la la la theme song is completely different and much more listenable here. Plus, Vader doesn't sound nearly as spooky as the image of his floating head would suggest.
02. Burger King Chicken Tenders toy
Do I really need to explain the appeal of a box full of smiling shitcreatures with eyes? This was a quarter at Jefferson Highway Flea Market.
03. Biker Mice From Mars action figures
One dollar for both at the JHFM. I can't remember ever watching the cartoon these guys are from, but I was aware of its existence. You can read more about it from people who are a bit too aware of its existence here. Yes, there are fanfics. And where there are fanfics, there are fanfics of an adult nature. The disclaimer from their page: "If you are easily offended, turn you head away at the appearance of a shirt less male, or a woman in a low cut dress, or are shocked by the suggestion of characters behaving like adults, then do not proceed, and I recommend that you get some serious mental help." Who is in more urgent need of mental help: prudes or people that read erotic fan fiction about cartoon mice?
...or people who spend their weekends buying action figures of said cartoon mice?
04. Big Bird's ABC Learning Machine
50 cents at the flea market, this Sesame Street learning toy from 1988 scrolls (loudly) through letters of the alphabet with the help of two "AA" batteries. It sounds like a chainsaw once it gets going... perfect for teaching small, impressionable children to associate learning with irritating noise. Here's a close up of the letter "N", brought to you by my favorite Sesame Street character, The Count:
"One... two... three... four! Four Learning Machine-induced headaches! Ah-ah-ah!"
© 2005 seawall