01. Yamaha PortaSound PSS-6 keyboard
Ever been punched in the ass by an 80-year-old woman? I mean right square in the ass, man, and when you least expect it?
That's what it felt like when I found this thing.
GOOD:
1. High quality sounds for such a toyish keyboard. 25 of 'em, not including the four variants of each (which only add echo to or multiply the sound.)
2. 15 cheesy but well-orchestrated demo tunes.
3. Boxed and bagged for $3.95 at Red White & Blue.
CRAP:
1. No output jack.
2. All natural instrument sounds (no weird/electronic/etc.)
3. While not terrible, the 15 preset rhythms are pretty lackluster.
02. Ultraman bubbleflapper
I dunno, Red White & Blue had some weird shit today. One of those weird shits is this Ultraman bubbleflapper from Bandai. (The packaging refers to it as a "shabon flapper", but I'm not buying into that shabon crap. It's a bubbleflapper.) For 95 cents how could I resist the heart-rending scene of a smiling Japanese boy, his fingers forming devil horns as he flaps out a sea of delightful bubbles which Ultraman only slaps away, annoyed. Hasn't this happened to all of us in one way or another? There you are, flapping about happily with some new toy, game, CD, invention, idea - then you show it to your friends and they shit all over your joy with their lack of interest? So you keep smiling and flapping away, hoping to change their minds, but they remain uninterested and annoyed and stupid and THEY JUST WON'T ADMIT THAT HEX ENDUCTION HOUR WAS A GOOD ALBUM, YOU ASSHOLES!
Fuck you, Ultraman.
03. Talking Big Bird
In the style of Teddy Ruxpin comes this talking Big Bird toy from Ideal, circa 1986. Like Teddy, Big B here takes special tapes that play stories and songs while also controlling his eye and mouth movement. Beak movement. Also like Teddy, Big Bird acts like a stroke victim when you play regular tapes in him - but he does play them. Grudgingly.
Flip up a little patch of assfeathers and here's what we have. Why does Big Bird need a satellite jack? Two words. Free Cinemax.
$2.95 at Red White & Blue.
04. Four LPs
Dollar a piece at Bridgehouse on Jefferson Highway. The one downtown is still closed after the hurricane, but I don't believe it flooded...
01. Rick Wakeman - Journey to the Centre of the Earth (A&M - 1974) Rick Wakeman. London Symphony Orchestra. Jules Verne. Narration between songs. Sometimes cheesy. Frequently brilliant.
02. Talking Heads - Speaking In Tongues (Sire - 1983) "Burning Down the House". "Girlfriend is Better". There's good stuff on this one, but I still prefer all the stuff that came before it. To me this seems like the beginning of Talking Heads version 2.
03. Todd Rundgren - Something/Anything? (Bearsville - 1972) I've never heard a Todd Rundgren album and I hear really good things about this one, so I'm gonna save it for a special day. If I remember, maybe I'll come back and update.
04. Uriah Heep - Fallen Angel (Chrysalis - 1978) I don't care about Uriah Heep. Everyone's always trying to get me to listen to Uriah Heep, they're on MTV constantly, they're doing iPod commercials, making guest spots on American Idol, but I'm sorry - I'm just not into flaccid progressive metal like everyone else. I bought this for the cover art, which I had to split the jacket's sides open to fully appreciate:
