“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.
Amen.”

Aunt Barbara. Barb, Barbi, Babzi, Babs, Daughter, Mother, Niece, Aunt, Godmother, Friend, Church member, Coworker, helping hand – these are just a few of her titles. But she was always Barbara, through and through. You never had to wonder what she was thinking, because she would tell you, whether you wanted to know or not.

And she never stopped talking – her stream of consciousness river of thought knew no bounds. More than once while I was visiting and fixing her computer, I found that I had lost track of what she was talking about. Mainly because she was juggling a dozen ideas at the same time and switched between them faster than I could follow. She had a child's sense of curiosity with an adult's wealth of memory. Her mind was a runaway train headed for that light at the end of the tunnel.

On Thursday, April 6, Aunt Barbara sent out her last email. It read in part: “Hi, this is just to let you know that my doctor is sending me to the hospital this evening … It will probably only be for a couple of days… Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Love and hugs, Barbara” Always “love and hugs.”

I went to see her on Monday the 10th, the day she turned 60. I arrived at her room in the hospital not long before Erin & Craig appeared with gifts and an ice cream cake. Timing can be everything. We sang happy birthday, and enjoyed our mini-party. There was joy. I had no idea it was the last time I would tell her goodbye.

I heard this on the radio yesterday, and found new meaning:

“Won’t you look down upon me, Jesus,
You’ve got to help me make a stand
You’ve just got to see me through another day
My body’s aching and my time is at hand
And I won’t make it any other way
Oh, I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain
I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I’d see you again”
(James Taylor: Fire & Rain)

She kept this poem with her:

THE TIME IS NOW
“If you are going to love me,
Love me now while I can know
The sweet and tender feelings
which, from true affection flow.
Love me now, while I am living,
Do not wait until I'm gone,
And then have it chiseled in marble,
Sweet words on ice cold stone.
If you have tender thoughts of me,
Please tell me now. 
If you wait until I'm sleeping,
Never to awaken,
There will be death between us,
And I won't hear you then.
So, if you love me, even a little bit,
Let me know it while I am with you
So I can treasure it.”
(author unknown)

I was fortunate to be able to love her, and to introduce her to many of my friends. Some of them who could not be here today told me the good things they remembered: She was a friendly, outgoing, and accepting individual who will be missed by many. She was a sweet lady. She was a joy to be around. And wow - so young.

After a life that seemed like a series of unfortunate events, Aunt Barbara is now among the angels she so admired and strived to emulate. Thanks to our shared love of gardening, I have in my yard a large bush that began as a stick from her yard. Soon it will be covered with white flowers whose petals remind me of the wings of doves. Then, and every year until I pass on, I will remember her kindness.

To close, I have two more poems, these written by Aunt Barbara.

The first is called: GIFTS FROM GOD

May God kiss your face with sunshine
And fill your eyes with beauty
May he grant you nights of peaceful, restful slumber
And all the days of your life be blessed with His holy presence
May God fill your wounded spirit with His healing power.
(1/5/2002)

And the second is a fitting farewell:

REQUEST FOR ANGELS   

May Almighty God send His angels, from on high,
To heal and comfort when you cry,
To bestow peace and take away the pain you feel,
I humbly beseech Him as I kneel.  

For you, dear friend, are always in my thoughts,
My brother's keeper I am, as I've been taught.
Remember me always, within your loving heart so kind,
For angels to surround you I pray, with soul, and heart and mind.
(4/16/2002)