Below I have listed some of my strongest beliefs along with some reasons why I believe that way. I was taught many things by parents and an assortment of other people throughout life. However, my strongest beliefs are those that I personally have proven are true or fairly universally accepted.
Drawing on the experiences over my life to date, I have tried to list the beliefs on a first learned, first listed basis. Many have had repeated proofs since the first concept was formed. Some believes have been modified since first formed, but most haven't.
When I was very young, my parents owned a little lakeside resort. They rented out rowboats, sold bait, ran a mini cafe with a jukebox and some coin operated games, and rented out some cabins. There was a lot of fun for a child around there. But I remember having to pack worms into the bait cups, cleaning the boats and oars, and a variety of other duties. Everybody in the family had to help since it was a family business.
While some of the duties could be fun as well as work, the experience taught me that you have to work to earn a living. I recognized that while I wasn't getting a paycheck for my efforts (excepting allowance), that it was helping the family to have an income. My dad taught me that hard work does have a value.
I also recall, and have been reminded now and then, that while mopping
the floor I used to sing, Mop, mop, mop, etc
. This might
sound silly to some people, but it is a way to make a job be less
dutiful and more enjoyable. It is common for me even today to be
listening to music (sometimes singing along) while doing many routine
household tasks. It does not hurt the quality of the work I perform,
just makes them feel a lot less of a chore. Good work ethics don't
have to result in misery.
Much later in life, I found out the hard way what it takes to run a small business by yourself. I was working at a repair shop. When it closed, I had the opportunity to purchase much of the equipment and parts. I did everything from bookkeeping to repairs by myself. It was hard work and low pay (a very small, poor town), but I knew this is what I had chosen to do. I did this for a few years.
Since then, I have always worked for somebody else. It seems to be
much easier having to only focus on one aspect of a business rather
then all of them at the same time. I try to give my best effort every
day and work as hard as I can. I figure that if I had somebody working
for me while I ran a business, this is what I'd want them to do. So
it is only fair that I give that to my employer. The saying goes,
Treat others as you would like them to treat you.
To me,
good work ethics mean doing whatever you are asked to do to the best
of your ability to do it. Sadly, not everybody does that, but I don't
let others bring me down to their level.
Regardless of whether anybody else notices or mentions the quality of my work on a regular basis, I take a great deal of pride in knowing that I have lived up to my own standards or expectations. There are times that I don't meet them, but I know I'm still giving my best effort when I can.
I'm a pretty happy person and I have a pretty good sense of humor, although some think it is warped. I like to hear and tell jokes a lot. To me, humor is a great feeling.
My favorite humor is what I call situational humor. This is something funny in a situation or as the result of one. Most comic strips have this type of humor, which is probably why I like comic strips so much. I also enjoy much of the TV shows which feature the home videos of people doing funny things caught on tape. I also enjoy some stand up comedians whose routines focus on humor not constantly revolving around sex or body function jokes. I like humor like newspaper headlines that turn out to be funny, but not meant to be. Also, I like the audio clips where important people say really silly things while trying to be serious.
Teasing (or making fun of) people is also a form of humor. However, I have a definite principal on teasing. As I see it, nobody is perfect and there are a lot of things we can not change about ourselves. Some people are short, some are heavy set, some face challenged mobility, etc. I used to be very short while in school and got picked on a lot for that. I found a way to deal with it, but another short student had some very serious emotional problems because of being teased about his size. Teasing should not involve the things that a person has little or no control over.
People who know me know that I laugh at my own actions as much as I laugh at others. I often share things with others that I did when nobody else was around just because it was so silly or stupid that it makes me laugh at myself.
There were times when I thought my mom had memorized the dictionary because she would be able to spell even difficult words correctly and give their definitions accurately without looking them up. I lost a lot of scrabble games while growing up. But there was an impact on me that carried through and past school years. I am not as good as my mom, but I have learned to spell quite a few hard words correctly before checking the dictionary.
Communication is a wonderful tool. When we can accurately speak or write out what we are really trying to say, others are more apt to understand it. Although I wasn't the model student during English classes, I did learn a lot about good writing options. Probably the most notable fault I have in writing is the abundant use of the comma. Using the correct words to describe my thoughts is often a difficult task. But the better one understands the choices available, the easier it is to pick wisely.
When I was growing up, I was taught that swear words
used to
be called expletives
used in the exclamatory
sense.
For example, if you hit your finger while hammering, you would shout
out a swear word as an expletive to indicate the pain. If there was
an acceptable use of a swear word, this was it.
One day in English class, one of the rougher students spoke a sentence
using two well known swear words in it. Our teacher had always said
that we should analyze a sentence if we wondered about the use of any
words we used. So she wrote the sentence on the blackboard and made
the student give the definition of each word, writing down the
new sentence
(the string of definitions) as he went. Of
course, neither of the swear words made any sense with the context of
the sentence. So the teacher said she didn't want to hear swear words
in class anymore. That not only worked for the rest of the school
year, but it impacted me as a bystander throughout my life since.
It seems lately that swear words are used more commonly today. Sadly, they are just as out of place in a meaningful sentence now as they were back in my school days. I could accept the words used as expletives, except there is often no reason for that in the frequent insertion of random swearing.
I have had many people tell me that the reason they swear so much is because it was a part of the environment they grow up in. I grow up with cigarettes and alcohol all around me, yet I never took up smoking or drinking. Why? Because to me there wasn't any advantage in doing it and I saw so much disadvantage by watching the people who did these things. Doing something because others do it is another subject for later, but I still firmly believe that people could learn NOT to abuse the English language so much if they would just analyze what they are saying and stick to what applies to their subject matter.
The opposite of inserting words with no value in sentences is using
the bare minimum of letters to convey a thought. Sentences typed
like the following are appearing more and more. u rnt gona c
ur g/f 2nite r u?
I can figure out what that means, but I can
also figure out that they only saved 24 letters from the much better
looking real sentence of You aren't gonna see your girlfriend
tonight, are you?
Not since the early days of computer messaging using really slow modems has it been necessary to conserve letters like that. If folks are too lazy to write a real message, maybe they should try another hobby. If people just don't care that their public messages look so sloppy, then that is just sad.
Before I leave this category, I'd like to also express displeasure with the trend of more words having a slang meaning in addition to the real English meaning. I am hearing more conversations with words that now indicate body parts or functions, drugs, etc. If people are too embarrassed to use the real words, maybe they shouldn't even be talking about the subject matter that relates to these words.
I was shocked and elated at what happened just three weeks before my
high school graduation. One of my classmates who teased me a lot and
made it a point to never have his friends see him near me, came over
to me during a study break and asked me if I would like to come to
the big senior party that weekend. I thanked him for the offer, but
declined because I didn't do those things. He quickly looked around
and upon seeing nobody was close said to me, I figured you would
say no. But I wanted to offer and also tell you how much I respect
what you stand for and being a good sport through all we have put you
through. I wish you well in life.
Yes, I wrote that down just
minutes later. I couldn't believe that I got a huge and sincere
compliment from him.
That was my first big experience with what a reputation does for someone. So often we don't know what others really feel deep down inside about us. Their outward show doesn't always reflect their true feeling. It was good to know that I reached somebody without even trying.
As long as I can remember, I've tried to live my life being me. I don't do things because others are doing them. As close as I have come to that is mimicking my brothers actions now and then, but I respected my brother so much that it just made sense.
During my working life, many people have mentioned their admiration of my work ethics and lifestyle. I honestly reply that I'm just doing what I believe is right and it shouldn't be all that uncommon. But I also believe that a persons reputation really DOES matter.
I've known for a long time that I am not perfect and as much as I'd like to be it will probably not happen from here on out either. I demand a lot from myself but accept whatever I can give. In the same spirit, I can accept and tolerate far less than perfection from others even though I would like a sincere effort applied by people to do what is right.
Acceptance applies to things that cannot reasonably be changed. The alternative to accepting what won't change is a stress filled life. An example of things that aren't likely to change is a persons physical or background characteristics. Humans come in all sorts of colors, builds, nationalities, abilities, emotional and chemical states. If this fact can't be accepted, a person will have a pretty miserable life.
Tolerance is acceptance of things that are not such a high priority that they need to change or that can't change. Sometimes tolerance has certain limits such as time frames where then it becomes unacceptable. Because something is tolerated, this doesn't mean that an opinion can't be voiced to call attention to it, if it could be changed.
Acceptance and tolerance does not mean that somebody has to accept everything without complaint. If a situation merits a voice of disapproval, one should be offered. However, it is better to do so only where either an immediate change could occur or the opinion might lead to a change in the long term.
In my world, the hardest things to accept or tolerate are when a business or person isn't applying a reasonably expected effort to a task which affects others or states they will do something and then they don't follow through. As others have shared with me, the most universal unacceptable activity seems to be slow moving check out lines for no good reason.
In summary, accept people as they are in regards to what they cannot change. Tolerate what really shouldn't matter to you or affect other people.
We all seem to have a desire to be liked by others. Sometimes we can lose track of what is important to our own individuality when trying to get others to like us. Peer pressure is the term used by kids and teenages to reflect the attitude of having to do certain things in order to be accepted by the group or be liked by certain people. This type of thing also occurs in the adult workplace and is present in social group gatherings as well as in many other public events.
Personally, I want people to like me for who I am and not how well I conform to their idea of who I should be. True friends respect each other and accept the good and the bad. Constructive comments can help mold friends into being a better person, but it should be for their benefit rather than to just be more popular around them.
It is simply amazing to me what some people do to themselves and others
in the spirit of trying to get noticed or liked. People get tested to
see how far they will go in order to simply join a group, such as a
fraternity, new school, gang, etc. We will accept you if you ...
No thanks! If I have to eat disqusting stuff, bend or break my moral
values and beliefs, or otherwise be embarrassed in order to be accepted
into a group, I have no desire to be in that group. I enjoy being me.
If others enjoy my company, we can be friends just based upon that.
I wear certain clothes because I like the way they look or feel to me. I have my hair cut and styled the way I like it. I go to the places where I enjoy being. Friends are welcome to interact with me if they accept my choices and want to be with me. Likewise, I am a good friend if I treat others in the same manner. If a friend invites me to a place where they want to go, I usually agree to it. My interests aren't the only ones that matter, but there are things that I won't do. My friends understand that and I've not really had any problems. This is probably due to the fact that my friends respect me as much as I respect them. To me, that's true friendship! No pressure, just friendship.
My resume correctly states that I do no smoke, consume alcohol, use any illegal drugs (and very few over the counter or prescription ones), or inhale vapors for an effect. The reaction is of disbelief that this is possible in todays society. In my case, it is reality.
Growing up, I saw what bad things smoking cigarettes can do. People would say how much they enjoy it, then walk away hacking and coughing. I kept thinking the good feeling had a much higher penalty than I would care to pay. Sadly, the truth for most is that they NEED this because of the additive properties on the body.
Later in life, I saw more alcohol consumption and the results of it. Again I was told that people enjoy drinking and many enjoy drinking to excess. If the throwing up afterward and horrible feeling the next day isn't bad enough, not remembering all of the alleged fun would be a drawback to me. This doesn't even count the things some people do while under the influence of the alcohol. It doesn't sound to me like a real good time after all.
I have never tried inhaling vapors or illegal drugs either for similar reasons to the alcohol paragraph above. There is a high price to pay for the effect. Even if I wanted to use illegal drugs, I do not think I would like having to go around in secret to buy them from people I don't know (or would not trust). That just sets up a huge opening for them to take advantage of me. Again, the whole ordeal is really not worth whatever feeling drugs might supply.
I remember a lot of good times during my life so far. To name just a few; feelings of sheer excitement, awe of natures beauty, and being around people I like. These are honest natural feelings that don't carry a big penalty of the body rebelling. These are the feelings that I enjoy. If I can have a good time naturally, there is no reason to turn to substances that often result in a bad time too.
Although sex IS a natural body desire and function, I believe it is proper to wait until after marriage before doing it. Aside from all of the bad things that can happen as a result of sex (including unplanned children), I have another reason for abstinence. That is of respect to the person I would call my spouse. This is also why I believe that cheating on a spouse is wrong. It may not matter to a lot of people, but I have respect for others as well as for myself.
I was inspired to add this section while listening to the presidential candidates promising the country will be safe if they are elected. I can't express in words how silly they look while doing that, but this small section will try. It goes beyond the campaign promises though.
Ever hear of a the concept called Stranger Danger
. This is
a program to teach children to fear anybody they don't know. So it
isn't designed to do that, but it works that way. Don't speak to
strangers because they can do you harm. Guess what, thousands of
children are molested and abused each year by their immediate family
or friends. In the meantime, children are being taught not to
exchange greetings with people they encounter while walking down the
sidewalk in the event that the person is in the very small category
of those who would harm the child. Great program, huh.
My point being that we should not teach branding
based on
any given quality, be it a stranger, any nationality, appearance, etc.
It prevents us from realizing that those not in the branded
classification are still capable of doing us harm. Believe me, I am
all for safety and security. But I live in reality which teaches me
there is no such thing is a completely safe environment.
When did common sense
stop being a good guide to activity.
Teaching not to take candy or gifts from strangers, not getting into
cars, not helping strangers look for allegedly lost pets, etc is
good. Using the instinct we are born with which makes us feel
uncomfortable in certain situations is also good. Teaching how not
to be friendly isn't good. We already have enough of that.
As adults, we now have the presidential candidates telling us they will keep us safe. Yeah, right. I have heard many stories that these promises were made after Pearl Harbor too, yet we found out in 2001 that we really aren't safe. Guess what, we still aren't.
Just a few days ago, a local bicyclist was riding in a bike lane, even wearing a helmet. He was struck from behind by a car which went into the bike lane. The impact threw the rider through the windshield of the car and he was killed. Terrorism isn't our only threat. And you can never be completely safe even if you are doing all of the right things in the right places.
We don't need a false sense of security. We shouldn't live in a constant state of fear either. Be smart, be informed, and use your instinct. Become reasonably safe and still be friendly to others.
OK, so I don't have experience raising children except from my own view of how I was brought up and witnessing other parents and/or children. But that does not exclude me from having formed opinions on what I would teach my children. Mostly they follow all of my beliefs above, but these are worth mentioning.
First and foremost, I would communicate openly and honestly with my children. Kids have a lot of questions while growing up and they deserve answers that are accurate. These answers can vary in detail based upon the age of the child, but must remain truthful.
Lifestyle is now adapted to the family. The media is filled with stories about children being left alone at home or even in cars while the parents go off somewhere. Other people get sitters to watch the children very frequently. Many kids aren't even supervised while the parents are in the house with them. Well, my mom (a single parent) configured her work around my school hours so that the rest of the day was family time. She put the family needs in front of her own in other aspects of life. THAT is how a family should be run. I've seen several families work this way, so I know it is possible if an effort is made toward doing it. Yes, it is a lot of work to raise a child, but that is part of the responsibility which goes with having a baby. Deal with it.
I also believe in individuality. Teach the child, watch the child, and let the child be who they want to be. Parents need to give the child the knowledge to make informed choices. The child will make choices based upon what they believe and/or prove to themself. It isn't a perfect process, but none of us are perfect.
Eventually, I will add some other items to the opinion column. Stay tuned for updates as I write them.
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