The Top Five Moments in My Coming Out Experience
by Caitlin

(Note: names have been altered to protect the privacy of those involved.)

5. First inquiry made of me after coming out to my father and stepmother at the age of 16.

Myself: ...I'm gay.
Jacqueline Kennedy: How do you know?
Myself: Because...I'm attracted to girls and I'm not attracted to boys.
Jacqueline Kennedy nods her head.

4. My strategy for coming out to my younger sister.

Myself: You know Willow and Tara on Buffy [the Vampire Slayer]?
Sally Ride, First American Woman in Space: Yeah.
Myself: Well, I'm like that.
Sally Ride, First American Woman in Space: Okay.
Myself: You know, I'm gay.
Sally Ride, First American Woman in Space: Okay.

3. My 11-year-old stepsister's response to my stepmother's informing her of my orientation, which my stepmother deemed humorous, non-offensive, and appropriate to repeat to me.

Jacqueline Kennedy: I have to tell you what [Elizabeth Barrett Browning] said! It was the funniest thing!
Myself: What?
Jacqueline Kennedy: She said, "Well, I guess that's cool, just as long as she isn't attracted to me."
Jacqueline Kennedy laughs hysterically.

2. The third time my mother expressed this response, or one similar to it, which she did so upon the completion of the two-minute speech I had prepared and had repeatedly practiced prior to actually coming out to her.

Myself: So what are you thinking? Is this hard for you to hear?
Lillian Gish: I still don't think you're serious.
Myself: I'm serious, Mom. I told you that.

1. The last thing my mother said to me regarding my coming out before we went to the airport so I could catch my flight home.

Myself: I mean, are you surprised by this at all, or did you kind of suspect?
Lillian Gish: I never thought about it. Honestly, I thought you'd tell me you were a transsexual, if anything. Do you think you're a man trapped in a woman's body?
Myself: (scoffing) No. I'm not transgendered. I was just a tomboy.
Lillian Gish: I used to have to tell you I got things from the Boys' Department, or else you wouldn't wear them.
Myself: Yeah.

Back to Issue #2