Three More Jokes about Improvisation
(by popular demand)

A married couple is leaving church, when they are approached by a homeless man. He says to the wife, "If you don't make out with me, I'll shoot your husband." She makes out with him, but he shoots her husband anyway. Then they have sex. The homeless man doesn't have a wiener, so he says, "I'll improvise just like John Henry," and he uses a centipede instead.

Jared Fogle is giving a lecture to the "University of Fat People." He tells them that they can lose weight by exercising every day and eating Subway. They don't know how to eat a sandwich, and ask Jared to demonstrate. He doesn't have a sandwich, so he says, "I'll improvise just like John Henry," and he eats his wiener.

A woman is walking through Belmont Park, when she is approached by a homeless man. He mumbles, "I'm blind... Give me some money." She says, "I don't have any money," then she goes to buy a ticket to the roller coaster. The "blind" man wasn't really blind, and he sees her holding money. He then hatches a revenge scheme. He goes to the roller coaster and unscrews a bolt. When the lady gets on the ride, he knocks out the ride operator with a monkey wrench. Then he says, "If you don't have sex with me, I'll start the roller coaster, and you'll die." He gets into the roller coaster train, and starts having sex with her. The ride operator falls over, and pushes the button to start the ride. They have sex in the tunnel, but as they go up the first hill, the train comes loose. They have sex some more as they are flying through the air, then they land in the Tilt-a-Whirl. They have sex on the Tilt-a-Whirl, until the ride operator says, "You can't do that in my Tilt-a-Whirl!" The homeless man knocks him out with the monkey wrench. Then he runs into the arcade. He is so happy after having sex for the first time that he begins to hit everyone with his monkey wrench. Then the cops come, so he calls Saddam Hussein on his cell phone. He says, "The cops are coming after me, so I need you to send some anthrax." Saddam says, "I can't do that. The United States is already mad at me." Then the homeless man gets call waiting. He says, "Hi, Monica. How's Bill?" Then Saddam agrees to send a missile full of anthrax. The missile arrives, and everyone at Belmont Park dies. The monkey wrench flies through the air, and gets stuck in the cement.

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