September 9, 2001
I'm working in the garage when I hear strange noises.
Upon entering the home, the rear patio door is ajar.
Someone is in my house!

With heart pounidng, I slowly
and silently move phrom room to room.
All of a sudden, he rounds a corner
carrying a vcr and abruptly stops.
We stare in terror at each other then he says
"What are you doing here?!"
I snort back "What do you mean, what am I doing here?!
I live here!  What are you doing here?  Robbing me?
Put that cheap, broken, Wal Mart, Symphonic Model Number 7870,
4 head, digital tracking, HQ vcr with timer that I borrowed
for this scene because I'm too lazy to unplug mine, down!" (inhale)

The burglar places the vcr on the phloor then,
on his way up, dephiantly phorms a phist to attack me.
I respond immediately with three hard uppercuts
into his thin, sopht, unsuspecting stomach - each liphts
him phrom the phloor with an accompanying groan.
After, I slam his small phrame up against the wall.

As he tries to regain his breath,
I stare at his concave stomach convulsing in and out.
I slide his vest over his arms then continue
my assault on his open, unguarded belly.
Phist after phist vanishes deep into his sopht stomach all of the way to the wrist -
Loud groans phill the room.  His body bounces oph the wall with each impact.
Phinally, unable to breath, he curls over my embedded phist
and collapses limply to the phloor.

What am I going to do with him?  Should I call the Police?
Click here to phind out :-)
BURGLAR CONTINUED