Some redneck shorties...

 
Why does the 12 year old redneck girl say when she first loses her virginity ?
GET OFF ME DAD, YOU ARE CRUSHING MY CIGARETTES!
 
 
Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire
estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
 
What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck? 
The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved.
 
What's the most popular pick up line in Arkansas?
Nice tooth!
 
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. 
The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. 
"Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of 
Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag
her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
 
A girl from the South and a girl from the North were seated side by
side on a plane.
The girl from the South, being friendly and all, said, "So, where
ya'll from?" The Northern girl said, "From a place where they know better than to
use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from the South sat quietly for a 
few moments and then replied, "So, where ya'll from, bitch?"
 
How do you know when your staying in an Arkansas hotel? 
When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person
at the front desk says "go ahead."
 
How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There is tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.
 
What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia? 
In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.
 
What is a Redneck's defense in court?
"Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence."
 
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
 
What do they call "Hee Haw" in Arkansas?
A documentary.
 
What do they call it in Kentucky?
"Life Styles of the Rich and Famous."
 
How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum?
Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.
 
Why did God invent armadillos?
So that rednecks can have 'possum on the halfshell.
 

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