Alice's Hat Pin       2000 Glass/Paper/Brass Stainless Steel/Wood/Feathers Plastic/Bill the Lizard Paint/Gold Leaf 25" x 8" x 8" Those concerned with keeping their hats on their heads as well as their heads on their shoulders need no more help than the prudent use of this handy mojo stick.  The errant bonnet or the unstable derby may be properly aligned on the head by simply inserting the hat pin through the side of the headgear, engaging the coiffered hair and exiting through the opposite side.  If follical inadequacy prevents this, an appropriate opening must be made in the skull to accomodate proper insertion of the hat pin. If, during a friendly game of croquet, The Red Queen takes umbrage with one's style of play and threatens the removal of one's noggin, one need only carefully remove the hat pin from the fedora and gently prod Her Highness in the posterior to remind Her of Her manners.  A firm wagging of the finger and a stern look  helps reinforce the message. Annointed with Cast off Evil Oil, Crown of Success Oil and Fiery Wall of Protection Oil.