Christians Create Hell on Earth My dears. I was attending a football game the other day. I don't particularly care for the sport. I object to the level of violence in it. There isn't nearly enough. I watched the entire game and no one got killed. I saw one player get carried off the field on a stretcher but no one was cheering. Sigh. I feel that you mortals have gotten soft. One of the teams was named the "Lions", and the other was named the "Saints" and that reminded me of the glory days of Rome, but in those days when the Saints met the Lions the contest was far more enjoyable. You see, the Saints were Christian martyrs and the Lions were really lions. I know that it doesn't sound sporting, but it wasn't really a game, it was a test of the Christians' beliefs. You see Christians believe this silly story, well, they believe a lot of silly stories, but this one was about how Daniel was delivered from the hungry mouths of lions by God. So, you know how Christians like to brag about how God will save them in times of need and brag they did until the Romans got tired of listening to them. The Romans decided to put God to the test and started throwing those Christians braggarts to the lions. You can imagine how it all turned out. Oh, the carnage, the bloodshed, the dismemberment...it was glorious.
And it worked. God didn't save them. God wanted to teach them a lesson. But of course, leave it to Christians to get the wrong message. They started bragging again and even more than before. They bragged about how much they were being persecuted. They bragged about how much suffering that they could endure. They even bragged about how when fellow Christians didn't fight back against the lions that they were showing everyone how strong their faith was. Yes, they were completely insane. They were gluttons for punishment. And some of them are still like that today.
Christians love to torture themselves. It makes them feel good. It makes them feel like Jesus. But it's ironic that Jesus wasn't like that at all. He didn't enjoy being tortured. He didn't make a big show about being persecuted. He didn't want to be crucified. But if you listen to what Christians say about Jesus you'd think that he was the biggest masochist of all time. He wasn't. Jesus wasn't big on martyrdom. Jesus thinks that Christians who make a big deal out of being persecuted are whiners, and he also thinks that Christians who torture themselves belong in a mental institution. It's true. I wouldn't lie to you my dears.
I know what you're thinking, "Didn't Jesus gladly suffer for all of our sins so that we could be saved?". Don't make me laugh. YOU are going to suffer for all of your sins. That's what hell is for. You might also be thinking, "Doesn't Jesus suffer whenever we commit a sin?". Nonsense. It doesn't hurt Jesus when someone sins. What brings Jesus pain is when Christians twist his teachings for their own personal gain. I can assure you that Jesus is writhing in agony.
Christians love to deny themselves pleasure. The Bible teaches them that they shouldn't enjoy pleasures of the flesh and if they do they are going to end up in hell. Like that's a bad thing. But for some reason Christians are afraid to go to hell and they'll do anything to go to heaven, even if it means giving up everything that mortals are meant to enjoy. "So what do they do for fun?", you ask. I'll tell you my dears. It brings Christians great joy when they are filled with the holy spirit of self righteousness. They love to feel holier than thou, and that is why they love to hear about sin. You see, a Christian can't feel self righteous unless someone else is committing a sin. So they love to gossip, especially when it's about someone else doing something truly evil, like enjoying sex (perish the thought). One Christian will say, "Did you hear what so-and-so did?" and tell all about someone's illicit sexual encounter. Then the other will gasp and say, "No." and they'll chatter on for hours. Nothing makes Christians feel better about themselves than knowing that someone else is going to hell. And best of all it makes them forget about their own little sins.
But feeling self righteous is not enough for some Christians, some of them desperately need to see the sinners punished. Christians can't handle it when they see sinners enjoying their lives and feeling good about themselves. It makes them jealous. They want God to smite the sinners before their eyes. They want to see the sinners suffer. They want to see the sinners burning in hell. But you see, not all sinners go to hell. Some of them get out of it. On their death beds those wicked sinners repent of all their evil acts and accept Jesus Christ as their savior. The repentant sinners end up in heaven too and that drives Christians crazy. It makes them wonder why they spend their whole lives torturing themselves when anyone can get into heaven by repenting. So to make sure that every sinner gets what they deserve, Christians have created a hell on earth. But instead of torturing the flesh like in the real hell, they torture the spirit. I know that you'd agree with me that they're truly depraved.
I do feel sorry for you my dears. You have to live in the Christian hell on earth. It's full of televangelists, missionaries, born agains, street preachers, Christian talk show hosts, and so many other self righteous believers that can't stop talking about God. It's sad. They think that since they can't enjoy themselves, no one else can either, so they set out to make everyone's lives miserable. They take their own little personal hell of guilt and fear and make everyone else a part of it. They won't stop until you feel stupid, worthless, and ashamed, just like they feel about themselves. And the sickest part of it all is that they do it because they believe that it's for the good of everyone. Good is truly the root of all evil.
But don't feel bad my dears. Now that you know their little secrets they can't make you feel guilty anymore. You can fight back too and I know that some of you do. I've watched you. Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves, you fight so nasty <cackle>. But the best way to fight the Christians is to simply be happy. Enjoy being who you are. Indulge yourself. Live life. Do what you feel. It will drive Christians absolutely crazy, and for most of them, that's a very short trip.
See you in your darkest dreams, dears.