When I get angry I know I need to vent it. I used to repress my anger. That wasn't healthy. It led to all sort of problems. Sometimes I'd fly off the handle and yell at people. Sometimes I'd get really depressed for days on end. So now I vent my anger whenever I start to feel it. That's worked out a lot better for me. I'm not nearly as depressed or volatile as I once was.
 
I like to vent my anger in a humorous way. Well, it's funny to me at least. I try not to vent my anger at anyone directly. That only makes them mad. They want to vent back at me and so on back and forth. That just makes things worse. It's better to vent anger harmlessly. That's what I do.

So here are my rants about things. Enjoy them. But don't take them too seriously. It's just me venting over something I'm angry about.

If you're offended, I'm sorry. Just remember that you chose to come to my site and read them.
 
 

Being a Goth	Death	Sex
Religion	God	The Internet

  Back to the Dark Fortress

I'm a Goth, which means I like to wear a lot of dark gothic clothes, go to gothic clubs, and hang around in the gothic scene. I really love it except for the fact that being a Goth has become so trendy these days. It's like people who are so un-goth are just doing it because they think its the in thing to do. For me being a Goth is a way of life, a philosophy, a statement about the meaninglessness of life. Black isn't a color, it's a lack of color, and that's the essence of being a Goth. Our lives lack purpose and meaning because we have realized that death negates everything we accomplish in life, so why bother. Our society is all about accomplishing things and making believe that you can live forever. It's all a big lie. We all end up in the ground for all eternity. All that running around trying to do something worthwhile is just a waste of time.
  (V)

Death is the absolute end. There's no heaven, no god, and no afterlife. Face it.   (V)

My first sexual experience was when I was 17 and it really sucked. I was so nervous and tense that I didn't enjoy it at all. It hurt pretty bad, and I had serious doubts that sex was all that it was cracked up to be. The next few times it didn't get much better, and I knew that all the talk about it being so great and how wonderful it looked in the movies was just a bunch of crap. Sex was just for guys' pleasure, and women have to learn to fake it to make their men happy. Of course, I was wrong. It took me a while to figure out that my tension during sex was all due to sexual repression that I learned in church. God hates people who have sex and sends them to hell. How's a person supposed to enjoy themselves when their mind is filled with images of fire and brimstone?
 
The more I gave up religion, the better I felt during sex and any intimate contact. It was clear to me that religion was all about stopping people from having sex. You're not supposed to talk about it, or read about it, or have it, or enjoy yourself while doing it even if you're married. What a crock! Religion doesn't want people to have any fun at all, probably because people would stop going to church.
 
The worst part about it is that no one knows what their doing in bed. No one teaches you how to have sex because nobody ever talks about it. I guess that's why so many guys are terrible at it. I haven't had many lovers, but only one made the earth shake for me. The rest aren't worth talking about.
  (V)

Religion is just plain wrong. There's no god and no afterlife. We're just intelligent animals hoping for a bright future after we die, nothing more. Evolution tells us that. But somebody long ago cooked up some story about how God is in control of everything and a bunch of people believed him. Not the smart ones of course, but the smart ones were all put to death. That's how it works. The next step was to ban sex and alcohol and anything else fun. That's why life sucks. Everything I've ever done that I thought was fun is considered evil by the church. Great logic, I want to enjoy my life so I'm some sort of nasty person.
 
It's probably because they were all like I used to be. I couldn't enjoy myself doing anything "evil" because I thought I was going to hell. I'd get drunk and be wild and crazy for a night and wake up the next morning and hate myself. I'd feel guilty for days, and all because my stupid parents told me a whole bunch of lies when I was growing up. I can't blame them though, their parents probably told them the same lies and their parents lied to them and so on. No one could enjoy themselves so they thought that fun stuff wasn't fun. I was different, I gave in to the "dark side" and now I am a human being instead of robot. And even if there is a hell, it's where I belong anyway, so screw religion.
  (V)

I read about this survey that said that 90% of all Americans believe in God. I'm in that other 10%. I also graduated in the top 10% of my class. Coincidence? I think not. The same survey said that the more educated people were the less likely they were to believe in God. That speaks for itself.
 
Believing in God is one thing, but some people have a personal relationship with God. Get real. Those people should be put in an institution, or at least on Prozac. They talk with him. They pray to him. They ask him for guidance. And get this, sometimes he answers. They call that faith. I call it schizophrenia. People should get rid of their imaginary friends when they leave childhood. I guess that's their problem, they're still children.
 
I can't see how any relationship with God could be anything but dysfunctional. I mean he makes all the rules and you have no choice but to obey or be punished eternally. He watches you all the time. He makes you get down on your hands and knees any time you want something. If you had that kind of relationship with a human being, all your friends would tell you to get out. It isn't healthy to be like that. It's demeaning. So stand up for yourself and dump God.
  (V)

I've been on the Internet for a few months and it's been a lot of fun. At first I wasn't sure how it was going to be. I'd heard lots of stories about all the hackers and lunatics in cyberspace. That's wrong, it's mostly normal people, well, relatively normal. The religious right would have you believe that there's pornography all over the net. That's wrong too, unless one of my roommate's friends is surfing.
 
So far I've been sending messages to the atheism newsgroup. They're pretty cool except when theists try to convert them. Having a whole group a atheists on the Internet is great. A lot of Goths aren't atheists, so I can't talk to them about how dumb religion is. Some of them even think Christianity is gothic. Get real.
 
Another good thing about the Internet is that I can release other sides of my personality. I can express my anger toward religion instead of keeping it bottled up all the time. That's a lot better for me. I can also express my darker side, something I can't do in real life. A part of me has always wanted to be an evil sorceress or dark queen like in books and movies. It's one reason why I got into being a Goth in the first place. On the Internet I can let this side of me flourish. That's been fun. It's even started to show up in how I act in real life. Well, only a little. I think the Internet has helped me discover my true self.
  (V)