Vista Crossing - Vista Fun

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SENT TO ME BY A VISTA CROSSING HOMEOWNER, (retired teacher. very interesting)..........Donna

>
> THIS IS GREAT!!! Read all
> the way to the end.................. This took a lot of work
> to put together!!!
>
>
> You think English is easy???
>
> Read to the end . . a new twist
>
>
> 1) The bandage was wound
> around the wound.
>
> 2) The farm was used to produce
> produce .
>
> 3) The dump was so full that it
> had to refuse more refuse.
>
> 4) We must polish the Polish
> furniture.
>
> 5) He could lead if he would
> get the lead out.
>
> 6) The soldier decided to
> desert his dessert in the desert.
>
> 7) Since there is no time like
> the present, he thought it was time to present the present
>
>
> 8) A bass was painted on the
> head of the bass drum.
>
> 9) When shot at, the dove dove
> into the bushes.
>
> 10) I did not object to the
> object.
>
> 11) The insurance was invalid
> for the invalid.
>
> 12) There was a row among the
> oarsmen about how to row ...
>
> 13) They were too close to the
> door to close it.
>
> 14) The buck does funny things
> when the does are present.
>
> 15) A seamstress and a sewer
> fell down into a sewer line.
>
> 16) To help with planting, the
> farmer taught his sow to sow.
>
> 17) The wind was too strong to
> wind the sail.
>
> 18) Upon seeing the tear in
> the painting I shed a tear.
>
> 19) I had to subject the
> subject to a series of tests.
>
> 20) How can I intimate this to
> my most intimate friend?
>
>
>
> Let's face it - English is
> a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in
> hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English
> muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in
> France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which
> aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But
> if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work
> slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither
> from Guinea nor is it a pig.
>
> And why is it that writers
> write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce
> and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth,
> why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2
> geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
> Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not
> one amend?
> If you have a bunch of odds and
> ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call
> it?
>
> If teachers taught, why
> didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
> vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think
> all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum
> for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite
> at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send
> cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
>
> How can a slim chance and a fat
> chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
> opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
> language in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
> in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which,
> an alarm goes off by going on.
>
> English was invented by people,
> not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human
> race, which, of course, is not a race at all.. That is why,
> when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
> lights are out, they are invisible.
>
> PS. - Why doesn't
> 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?
>
>
>
> You lovers of the English
> language might enjoy this .
>
> There is a two-letter word that
> perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word,
> and that is 'UP.'
>
> It's easy to understand
> UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but
> when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a
> meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and
> why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the
> secretary to write UP a report ?
>
> We call UP our friends. And we
> use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm
> UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the
> house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the
> little word has real special meaning.. People stir UP
> trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and
> thinkUP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be
> dressed UP is special.
>
> And this UP is confusing: A
> drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP..We open
> UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
>
> We seem to be pretty mixed UP
> about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP,
> look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized
> dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can
> add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you
> might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It
> will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give
> UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it
> threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .. When the sun
> comes out we say it is clearing UP....
>
> When it rains, it wets the
> earth and often messes things UP.
>
> When it doesn't rain for
> awhile, things dry UP.
>
> One could go on and on, but
> I'll wrap it UP, for now my time isUP, so........it is
> time to shut UP!
>
> Oh .. . . one more thing:
>
> What is the first thing you do
> in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P
>
>
>
>
>
> P.S. The English word with the most meanings is
> SET.
>
>
>
>
> http://puzzles.about.com/library/weekly/blmosdef.htm

What's up Doc!