"Girls Just Want to Have Fun"
Parables for Telecommuters
by Julie Dean Larsen
jdl@arterhadden.com
or larsen@home.com

Two and one-half years ago, when my husband, a telecommuting computer scientist, suggested I begin working from home, the "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" (hereinafter "GJWHF") song kept running through my head. The telephone commercial in which three little girls whine about their mom leaving for a meeting haunted me. In a firm voice, she says something like, "OK, you've got three minutes, then were leaving for the beach." They scream and scramble. GJWHF is playing in the background. Next shot, at the beach, Mom's portable phone rings. The three-year-old yells, "Hey everybody, it's time for the meeting."

This was a compelling image for me, a parent who missed week night dinners as often as not, and it was enhanced by other phone company commercials. In one, a woman is conducting a meeting via a video conferencing screen. The camera pans down. Under her desk, we see she has on pajama bottoms and bunny slippers. Another shows a woman lounging in her kitchen with a portable phone. She declares that she has closed three deals that morning and hasn't even showered yet.

Ultimately, I was not lured by these images, but heartened by them when our move from California to Nebraska forced me to telecommute or find a new job. Since then, I have been telecommuting from my home in West Omaha to my firm office in downtown Los Angeles (and, now and then, Cleveland, San Francisco, Dallas and DC). I have learned a number of lessons. While there have been occasions that GJWHF would have been appropriate background music for my work day, more often than not my experiences are reflected in the funny papers. "Adam©" snarled at his children to leave him alone this week; and "Cathy©" has been battling social deprivation ever since she began her home-based consulting business.

I struggled with telecomuting the first year. I worked long hours, half of which were billable, and felt socially deprived. On Wednesdays, I made up for the lack of camaraderie when I went to Los Angeles. Morning coffees, lunch, and afternoon coffees combined with my normal C.S.T. meal schedule. After I gained ten pounds, I realized I was eating seven times a day and getting little work done. During my second year of telecommuting, I shed my preconceptions and changed my work habits drastically. As a result, I became more productive and began enjoying working at home.

I wrote this article for those of you who are considering hanging up your car keys, whether it is one day a week, five miles from your office, or four days a week from another state. It offers Seven Telecommuting Rules and a glimpse into their genesis; because ultimately, GJWHF. And, if we don't have fun, we won't get much done.

THE FIRST PARABLE:

Two years ago I used my office computer to open email, keep track of my calendar, lookup phone numbers, conduct online research and, on rare occasions, edit documents. I taught myself these skills with the aid of those little software tutorials. I know nothing of DOS and curse Windows 95.

In the months and days before my metamorphosis, I schemed and dreamed of a paperless home office and laptop that would follow me everywhere. It would dial my phone, update my calendar, manage associate assignments, and store electronic copies of all my files. With it I could work on the plane, and with it I could work on a train. I could work in a car, I would work near or far, at my house and with my spouse. I could work here or there, I could work ANYWHERE!

Naturally, I needed the latest and greatest of all hardware and software to create this paperless paradise. I turned in my desktop for a laptop (the tech team converted my files). I beta tested a document management system designed to give me access to every document generated in any one of our twelve offices via "SOL." I spent hours converting my old data files to an upgraded calendar system. I integrated and stored hundreds of addresses in an internal fax with auto dial capabilities.

By the end of the year, there was a melt down of the document management system. It was so thoroughly integrated with all my word processing programs that I could not create or edit a document without SOL kidnapping it and transporting it to a database somewhere in Narnia. Eventually, I abandoned the new calendar system, because it would not accept my old database files. I reverted back to a manual Month At A Glance. Then, after these technological pitfalls and in spite of my husband's warnings, I begged to be the first to receive one of the newest laptops coming into the Arter & Hadden offices. I got one. It was a few ounces lighter and came with a really neat carrying case. In exchange for these benefits, the conversion wiped out my fax capabilities and the software program connecting my laptop to my home LAN, thereby severing my connection to the printers, tape backup, cable internet connection, and scanner.

I now use my laptop for the basics, and I don't lug it with me unless I must. I do not take it on the train, I will not use it on the plane, I do not take it here or there, I do not use it everywhere. I like my laptop, yes I do, but I like my pens and notepads too. Thus, the FIRST RULE OF TELECOMMUTING:

BECOME COMFORTABLY AQUAINTED WITH YOUR COMPUTER, BUT JUDICIOUSLY AVOID ANY INTIMATE ENTANGLEMENTS.

You should be skilled enough with your computer and the firm applications that you can send and receive documents via email or a document management system. If your firm does not support remote access to email or its network, put one of these in place before you begin telecomuting. There may be security issues to hurdle before you allow remote access to your firm network. Remote access to email is easier and is useful for non-commuters who travel or work at night from home.

For those problems you cannot fix, you should have technical support on call. My firm has tech team members on call 24 hours a day. I have never had to page them after hours, but I have bartered for my husband's services on more than one occasion.

Finally, if you love your computer-taught the staff macros, installed personal software to help your work, know how to do this , or speed dial from hypercard-you have sufficient skills to be a telecommuter, but are perilously close to the vortex of 40 hour per week telecomuting "set up." One year after donning those bunny slippers, you may have set up an incredible support environment for telecomuting, but will have billed only 100 hours. Be judicious. Set up only essential functions the first year: email, fax, document transfer, case file folders.

THE SECOND PARABLE

In the early fall of my first year telecomuting, I was negotiating a multiparty settlement of contentious litigation. Those parties having interests similar to my client's and I calculated that the best way to obtain a commitment from the obstreperous holdout was to play "good cop/ bad cop." On Monday and Tuesday, I heartlessly demanded concessions and scoffed at the holdout's position (in case you are a tax specialist, I was the bad cop). Wednesday was planned for the crescendo of my attack. At 4:30 obstreperous holdout returned my call. Just as I launched into my tirade, I heard a crash. The lilting giggles of two seven-year-olds wafted up the back stairs into my office. Had holdout heard the tittering? Fatally, I paused. "Mommmmmm," my daughter's voice boomed into my office, "Where is the vacuum?" Thus, the SECOND RULE:

YOUR HOME OFFICE SPACE SHOULD BE SEPARATE, SOUNDPROOF, AND EQUAL TO THE COMFORTS OF YOUR FIRM OFFICE.

I traded my thirtieth floor, ocean view, downtown, LA office for an over the garage, park view, home office. It is comfortable, reasonably appealing, well lit, and furnished with reconfiguerable ANTHRO CART furnishings. I can reach my office by walking down from the second floor bedrooms, or up the back stairs from the kitchen. Unfortunately, the smell of simmering pasta sauce, the sounds of the housecleaner, and the voices of my daughter and her playmates also travel up the kitchen stairs to my office. If I could change one thing about my home office, I would make it soundproof.

When you choose your home office make sure it is separate from the rest of the family living area. Spend some time working in it before you convert it. No family noises, activities, or aromas should invade your home office.

In addition to separate, your office should be as comfortable and pleasant as your firm office. If you are not accustomed to working in a windowless office with an eight foot ceiling, don't put your home office in the basement. Spend the time and money it takes to plan and purchase desk space, storage, bookshelves, and guest seating that will work for you. Use the layout of your current firm office as a model, eliminate the coat storage and personal toiletry drawers and add more file storage if you use a central filing system at your firm. Good lighting, adequate heat, air conditioning, and a truly comfortable desk chair are essential.

If you expect to receive clients or opposing counsel, consider where you will greet them and what route they will take to your office. Guiding a client through a minefield of Leggos does not create an air of professionalism. Proximity to the front door is also convenient for answering the doorbell. I bolt down one flight of stairs and through three rooms before I reach my front door, just as the Federal Express truck is flying out of my cul de sac. It is great exercise, but sometimes I miss a delivery. If your home office is far from the front door of your house, consider placing an intercom between the front door and your office.

Ultimately, if you carefully plan your home office so that it is separate from the rest of the family-occupied spaces, quiet, and comfortable, you'll be a lot happier.

THE THIRD PARABLE:

When my husband and I moved to Omaha, we built a house from scratch. I spent a tremendous amount of time picking out paint, tile, and fixtures. My husband worked for weeks modifying the electrical layout. When the electrician saw our plans for five phone lines, a local area network (LAN) with connections in every room and everything home run to a basement hub, he asked the builder if we were bookies. After we moved in, my husband spent another week making sure my network connection was operating properly via PC MACLAN. I rearranged my office furniture.

When my firm's tech team neglected to transfer some important programs and data from my old laptop to my new laptop with the really neat carrying case, I was pleased to learn that my files were being protected via the LAN and my husband's nightly tape backup. Although I never followed it; and thanks to my husband was not punished for ignoring it, RULE THREE is:

SPEND THE TIME TO CHOOSE AND INSTALL THE RIGHT TOOLS FOR YOUR OFFICE.

Keeping in mind that my office equipment supports interstate telecomuting, the following is what I have at home and how I use it:

First, I have one Gateway 2000 Solo laptop with an internal fax modem and Windows 95. Word 7 is my firm's standard word processing program. Groupwise Remote connects me to my firm email via a dial up toll free number. I send and receive documents via the Groupwise Remote program. I created separate folders on my laptop for each of my cases and projects. I store all documents in the appropriate folders.

Second, I have two home office phone lines. I can receive and place calls on both; however, the second office line is plugged into my laptop and is used for faxes, my modem, and dialing up my firm's office email. I use the first phone line to place and receive business calls. (For convenience, my home phone line also rings at my desk.) My long distance service carrier (World Com) allows me to enter a five digit code for billing purposes. My Los Angeles office has two phone lines. I can instruct the voice mail system to call me from Los Angeles if someone leaves a message. It allows me to record a personal greeting (which I change each day). I cannot instruct my home office phone to call me in LA, but I can check messages and keep the greeting accurate.

Third, there are two printers connected to my laptop via the LAN. One is color, the other is black and white. I would trade both for a single dedicated high speed laser jet printer, but they are my husband's.

Fourth, via the LAN, I have a cable internet connection. If you need to transfer or receive any information via the internet, order installation of a cable connection at least two months in advance. IT IS WORTH EVERY PENNY.

Fifth, my laptop is connected to a scanner via the LAN. I have used the scanner as an emergency backup to fax documents to my LA office when the firm email system was down, when I wanted to hand edit a document not on the computer, and once to send in two weeks of time sheets before the month end cutoff. The scanner is operated by my husband because special software is used to view the documents. Unless you already have this piece of equipment, I would recommend an old fashion fax machine or a trip to KINKOS as an emergency substitute. If you don't plan on doing even minor editing on your computer, purchase a plain paper fax and consider a combination copier/fax/printer.

Sixth, my husband's tape backup automatically backs up each computer connected to the LAN every night. Given Rule Four, you can forego nightly backup if you do not want to invest in a tape drive; however, organize your files so that you can conveniently back them up manually at least once a week.

THE FOURTH PARABLE

After SOL took my documents hostage, I replaced the firm's document management system with emailing attachments back and forth from my secretary. She would email me the first draft. I would edit it and re-email it back. She would reformat it and re-re-email it. I would open up the re-re-email or the re-email or the email, start to edit it, wonder if it was an earlier version, spend 20 to 30 minutes with the "compare" tool in WORD 7, and finally, edit the most recent version and re-re-re-email it back to her for mailing out. RULE FOUR is:

CAREFULLY PLAN AND IMPLEMENT PROCEDURES WHICH WILL
EFFICIENTLY MAINTAIN FILE INTEGRITY.
CORORLLARY: NO ORIGINALS AT YOUR HOME OFFICE

In order to maintain file integrity (all file documents are located in the same place and properly indexed) you should set up procedures that cause all documents to be generated, duplicated, mailed from, and filed at your firm office. Do not underestimate the complicated systems and procedures your secretary, paralegal, and file clerk follow. Even if you manage to get a document mailed, you probably will have failed to make a chron copy, mail the carbon copies, or save the document properly in the firms' document management system. Your correspondence may be missing the firm stamp or be printed on inappropriate paper. It is much easier to maintain all files at the firm than to recreate them at home. I follow the following procedures to maintain file integrity:

First, no original documents are in my home office. I dictate letters and documents that are lengthy and overnight mail them to my secretary for transcribing. Once she has created an initial draft, she emails it back to me. (If you have a document management system, your secretary would give you the locator.) I open and save the document emailed to me with the date (0413 would be April 13) and a letter designating the order in which the document was opened on that date (0413b would be the second document I saved on April 13). I save the document in the appropriate case folder. After I open the document and work on it, I attach a different multi-letter designation to the date which describes the nature of the document. Thus, when I open the case folder later the latest version of the document I've called "SR" is the one with the most recent date.

When I am ready to mail a document, I change the date to "fn" for "final" and email it back to my secretary with instructions to proof it for any formatting problems. Sometimes emailing and opening documents causes formatting changes. You can avoid most of these problems by synchronizing the word processing program you and your secretary use. My secretary proofs, signs, mails, files and emails the document back to me to confirm that it went out and give it a permanent date. If you want your documents to have your signature and not your secretary's version of your signature, you can scan in a signature and paste it onto to your document before you send it to your secretary.

After my secretary emails the final back, I save the document as "fn," replacing the version I just sent her. I also keep a separate log of every pending document and its status, because my secretary is not putting hard copies of draft documents in my in box to remind me of what is pending. I have been considering creating "in box" and "out box" folders on my laptop. Pending documents would not go in the case file folders but stay in the "in box" (if I needed to edit them) and "out box" (if I had sent them for my secretary) until mailed.

Second, I create shadow files at my home office which contain the essentials of each file-documents I need to refer to often. For insurance coverage cases, I keep a copy of the policy, complaint, coverage position letter, and initial status report. In litigation cases, I keep discovery responses and copies of depositions (usually ASCII disks or mini transcripts) in addition to the Complaint. The documents in my shadow files are copies of documents in the original office files.

Third, there are two exceptions to the no originals rule: notes of telephone conversations and humongous, largely insignificant stacks of documents. By keeping handwritten notes of telephone conversations, you are naturally creating original documents in your home office. If you would normally put your notes in the correspondence file, send them to your secretary at least once a week to be filed. If you would not normally put the notes in a file, keep the notes in your shadow file. If it becomes necessary to put the notes in the original file you can pull them from your shadow file.

On occasion you must review a humongous stack of largely irrelevant documents that need a once-through. Rather than copy them, borrow the originals, review them and return them to the office. This exception does not apply to a humongous stack of documents you are going to refer to more than once. Such documents should be copied to your shadow file.

THE FIFTH PARABBLE

The day I flew back to Los Angeles after my move to Nebraska, I found another attorney in my office and my things in boxes in a "safe place" that only the transportation coordinator (was this just a sick joke) could locate. Worse yet, the woman who informed me of this was the "new" temporary administrator. She had never met me, and all those chits I had built up as a team player were as useful as a pitcher of flat beer with your nachos. Before I knew what was happening, my office moved three times, the office administrator asked to reassign my secretary, and staff and associates "borrowed" my stapler, in box, guest chairs, pens, desk chair and desk blotter. I finally concluded that being a "team player" one day a week was not as effective as being a "team player" five days a week the day I found one of my four matching guest chairs had been hauled across the hall for a temp in word processing to use as a footstool. I came up with a new strategy. That temp and a few other staff members who have joined the firm after I left do not see me as the easy going reasonable coworker down the hall. To them I am the demanding, critical, partner who comes in on Wednesday. Accordingly, RULE FIVE is:

PROTECT YOUR OFFICE ASSETS.

Protect your office assets by developing a clear understanding with the office manager and managing partner about the use of your office when you are working at home. Document it. Give a copy of the memo of understanding to your secretary, the enforcer. Also propose a reasonable alternate use of the space if you are out of the office more than two days a week.

Eventually, I came up with a solution to protect my territory and help the firm. I reclaimed my original office and proposed sharing it with two other attorneys who regularly visited the LA office. Recently, the firm has adopted the "hotel" office concept for our new office space. If you take the initiative and make your firm office accommodating to guests, you are more likely to make your partners happy and to fend off raids. Leave a prominent sheet with "Guest Rules" on the top of your desk when you are working at home. It should cover the phones, faxes, personal effects, and your expectations. Be specific about phone use rules if you record long distance calls by extension. Instruct your secretary to confront or inform you of office raids. Label your supplies (Dictaphone, tape dispenser, etc.) Protect your assets, you need them to practice, and you paid for them.

THE SIXTH PARABLE

For me, the hardest components of working at home are solitude and distractions. After years of working 8-10 hours interspersed with 2 - 3 hours of socializing, telecommuting put me in isolation four days a week. At first I looked for little ways to socialize, the Fed Ex person, when I could catch him, the UPS person, when she stopped, and even the postal carrier, although I have not yet figured out when the mail will be delivered. Neighbors offer social interaction, but mine are so spectacularly fun that I once found myself playing bridge and subbing for golf league. I no longer risk these sirens' song.

I also found I needed to avoid domestic diversions. It was very hard to walk by the breakfast dishes five times to get a cup of coffee, but unloading the dishwasher, folding the laundry, and shoveling the driveway are far less satisfying and usually take longer than an office chat. Ultimately, I have had to retrain myself. Thus, RULE SIX:

CULTIVATE LANCE SELFRIDGE WORK HABITS.

Lance Selfridge is a Los Angeles attorney who occupied the office across from mine my first two years of practice. While I came to work early and stayed until last call at the Sheraton Grand across the street, Lance showed up at 8:45, closed his door at 9:00 a.m. and left precisely at 5:30. He took a single hour for lunch and billed 1950 hours a year. I was at the office 50% more, but billed a meager 15% more.

If your dance card is full by the midmorning coffee break, test a Lance Selfridge work regime for a month. If you can stick to it, telecommuting will be easy. If you can't, beware, because nothing in your home office will substitute for socializing at the firm.

THE SEVENTH PARABLE

One Monday, after the first of the year, I took my coffee up to my office and updated my voice mail messages, "Hi, you've reached the desk of Julie Larsen. Today is Monday, January 19th. I am in the office all day, but away from my desk or on the phone, so please leave me your name and number and I will return your call as soon as I can."

I then began revising a motion for summary judgment. It was noon before I realized I had worked without a single interruption. I congratulated myself on cultivating Lance Selfridge work habits. I made a sandwich, left voice mail messages for clients and colleagues, and went back to work. At one o'clock, I checked to see if the mail had arrived and again at two and three. By four o'clock, I realized that the only office of Arter & Hadden open for business on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day was the telecommuter office of Julie Dean Larsen in Omaha Nebraska. This brings me to the final Rule of Telecommuting, RULE SEVEN:

DON'T FORGET TO CLOSE THE OFFICE.

Don't forget that the single reward for planning and successfully working from home is spending more time with your family. My commute used to be 7.5 hours a week (give or take a SIG alert) in stop and stop traffic with a commuter mug. I would wake to an alarm, dress, and head out the door, grabbing coffee and a muffin at the office. Most the time, I was home three nights a week for dinner.

Now I fly to California once a week, round trip is six hours. I can work on the plane (although at least one of our colleagues can tell you he has caught me sleeping on the morning flight) while I enjoy a champagne breakfast or a tasty dinner (thanks to Midwest Express). On days I work at home, I dress, sans makeup and pumps, have a leisurely breakfast with my husband and daughter, read the paper, and open the office at 8:30 (bettering Lance Selfridge by 30 minutes). Most days, I take an hour lunch break, have a four o'clock coffee break with my daughter when she gets home from school, and quit working at six o'clock for dinner (which my husband makes Monday through Thursday). After dinner, I check for messages, speak with my secretary, and turn the ringer on my phone off so I don't hear it in the rest of the house. I programmed my Los Angeles voice mail to quit forwarding after seven o'clock.

I still work on some weekends and holidays, but I also close my office when my house is full of friends and family I have not seen in a while. To do this, I leave appropriate and informative messages on all phone lines and instruct my secretary to call my home number if there is an emergency. I turn off the message forwarding and the phone ringer. I turn down the answering machine volume. If I don't, I end up dashing up to the office ten times an hour.

It is far too easy to be always on call if you work out of your home. On holidays and weekends remember to close your office, turn off you phones, and spend some time with your family, because:

"When the working day is done oh girls they want to have fun."


    Although "Girls" is the first word in the title of the Cindy Lauper song, I do not intend the message of fun to be gender specific.  Accordingly, if you, the reader, are male, imagine Cindy is singing "Guys Just Wanna Have Fun" when you see "GJWHF." The lyrics to the entire song are:

I come home in the morning light
My mother says When you gonna live your life right?
Oh Mother dear wer’re not the
fortunate ones
And girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun

The phone rings in the middle of the night
My father yells What you gonna do
with your life?
Oh Daddy dear you know
you’re still number one
But girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun
That’s all they really want some fun
When the working day is done oh girls
they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun

Some boys take a beautiful girl
and hide her away from the rest of the world
I want to be the one to walk in the sun
Oh, girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have
That’s all they really want some fun
When the working day is done oh girls
they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun
They just wanna They just wanna
They just wanna They just wanna
Girls, girls just want to have fun
 


    My husband’s mantra is: "Do not upgrade until you are forced to do so."
 



  (My computer, "Kay," communicates with his computers, "Von Neumann" and "Turing" via the LAN. Because Kay and Turing are PCs and Von Neumann is a Mac, special software is needed to enable the communication)  By the way, if you understand the names given to each computer, reread Rule One.


   For those of you paying attention, my husband does work at home, but before he was a telecommuter, he emailed his office mate rather than chat with him.   Now that he is a telecommuter he jealously protects his solitude.


   My spouse is not only a computer scientist, but Italian and a great cook.  GJWHF!

This article appeard in the June 1998 issue of The Nebraska Lawyer