When Julie was a high-school freshman, her cousin's friend raped her. He was in his late 20s and she was 14. Thirty years later, Julie's husband hit her in the back of the head with a baseball bat. She dialed 911 just as she had many times before, but this time, she told herself, would be the last.

As an advocate for change, I receive letters from women all over the country who share their personal stories of physical or sexual violence with me. What I've learned is, time after time, these stories often began with an incident occurring during childhood or teenage years. Julie's story is not the exception. In fact, six out of 10 rapes of young women occur in their own home or at a friend or relative's home, not in a dark alley.

This is troubling to me. But the more troubling fact is because these young women knew their rapists as boyfriends, friends or casual acquaintances, they are twice as likely to choose abusive partners as adults. As you can see, the cycle of abuse begins early. So, how do we stop the pattern before it begins?

Here are some signs that a teenager may be in trouble. Young women may believe:

	their boyfriends' jealousy, possessiveness and even physical abuse is romantic.
	abuse is normal because their friends are also being abused.
	there is no one to ask for help.

I believe that when it comes to physical and sexual violence, education is a critical factor for young women. One in five female high-school students reported being physically or sexually abused by a dating partner.

If you are a witness to or have the opportunity to mentor a young woman, you may be in a position to help her more than you know. Teenagers can choose better relationships when they:

	learn to identify the early warning signs of an abusive relationship.
	understand they have choices.
	believe they are valuable people who deserve to be treated with respect.

Too often, I hear stories like Julie's and wonder if someone could have made a difference. As young women, we all knew or heard about someone like Julie. Perhaps you know a Julie now. Are you standing by when you could be a needed voice to a young woman? I challenge you to use your voice—be a difference maker.

Visit charmingvoices.com or call 1-800-799-SAFE for more information.

Sincerely,