Begin creating your guest list as soon as possible. Ask your parents and the groom's parents for a list of
the people they would like to invite. You and your fiance should make your own list. Make certain that all
names are spelled correctly and that all addresses are current. Determine if you wish to include children; if so,
add their names to your list. All children over the age of 16 should receive their own invitation.
Order your invitations at least 4 months before the wedding. Allow an additional month for engraved
invitations. Invitations are traditionally issued by the bride's parents; but if the groom's parents are assuming
some of the wedding costs, the invitations should be in their names also. Mail all invitations at the same time,
6-8 weeks before the wedding.
If all your guests are to be invited to both the ceremony and the reception, a combined invitation may be
sent without separate enclosure cards. Order one invitation for each married or cohabiting couple that you plan
to invite. The officiant and his/her spouse as well as your attendants should receive an invitation.
Order approximately 20% more stationery than your actual head count. Allow a minimum of two weeks
to address and mail the invitations, longer if using a calligrapher or if your guest list is very large. You may also
want to consider ordering invitations to the rehearsal dinner, as these should be in the same style as the
wedding invitation.
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Waterman Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter Carol Ann
to
Mr. William James Clark
on Saturday, the fifth of August
Nineteen hundred and ninety-four
at two o'clock in the afternoon Saint James by-the-Sea
La Jolla, California
Mr. and Mrs. Michael Burdell Clark
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of Miss Carol Ann Smith
to their son
Mr. William James Clark
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Waterman Smith
and
Mr. and Mrs. Michael Burdell Clark
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Miss Carol Ann Smith
to
Mr. William James Clark
- OR -
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Waterman Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Carol Ann Smith
to
William James Clark
son of Mr. and Mrs. Michael Burdell Clark
Mrs. Julie Hurden Smith
requests the honor of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Carol Ann
Mrs. Julie Hurden Booker
requests the honor of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Carol Ann Smith
- OR -
Mr. and Mrs. John Thomas Booker
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of Mrs. Booker's daughter
Carol Ann Smith
Mr. Alexander Waterman Smith
requests the honor of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter Carol Ann
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Waterman Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of Mr. Smith's daughter
Carol Ann
Mr. and Mrs. Brandt Elliott Lawson
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their granddaughter
Carol Ann Smith
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Waterman Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Carol Ann
to
William James Clark
United States Army
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Waterman Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Carol Ann
to
William James Clark
First Lieutenant, United States Army
Higher than lieutenant
If the rank is higher than lieutenant, titles are placed
before names, and the branch of service is placed
on the followingline.
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Waterman Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Carol Ann
to
Captain William James Clark
United States Navy
Sample Of A Less Formal, More Contemporary Invitation
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Waterman Smith
would like you to
join with their daughter
Carol Ann
and
William James Clark
in the celebration of their marriage
Response Cards
Response cards are enclosed with the invitation to determine the number of people who will be attending
your wedding. They are the smallest card size accepted by the postal service and should be printed in the same
style as the invitation. An invitation to only the wedding ceremony does not usually include a request for a reply.
However, response cards should be used when it is necessary to have an exact head count for special seating
arrangements. If included, these cards should be easy for your guests to understand and use. Include a
self-addressed and stamped return envelope to make it easy for your guests to return the response cards.
You should not include a line that reads "number of persons" on your response cards because only those
whose names appear on the inner and outer envelopes are invited. Each couple, each single person, and all
children over the age of 16 should receive their own invitation. Indicate on the inner envelope if they may bring
an escort or guest. The omitting of children's names from the inner envelope infers that the children are not
invited.
Samples of wording for response cards
Response Example 1
M____________________________
(The M may be eliminated from the line, especially if many Drs. are invited)
__ accepts
__ regrets
Saturday the fifth of July
Oceanside Country Club
Response Example 2
The favor of your reply is requested
by the twenty-second of May
M___________________________
will ________ attend
Reception Cards
If the guest list for the ceremony is larger than that for the reception, a separate card with the date, time and
location for the reception should be enclosed with the ceremony invitation for those guests also invited to the
reception. Reception cards should be placed in front of the invitation, facing the back flap and the person inserting
them. They should be printed on the same quality paper and in the same style as the invitation itself.
Sample of a formally worded reception card
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Waterman Smith
request the pleasure of your company
Saturday, the third of July
at three o'clock
Oceanside Country Club
2020 Waterview Lane
Oceanside, California
Sample of a less formal reception card
Reception immediately following the ceremony
Oceanside Country Club
2020 Waterview Lane
Oceanside, California
You may also include a reception card in all your invitations if the reception is to be held at a different site
than the ceremony.
If all people invited to the ceremony are also invited to the reception, include the reception information on
the invitation and eliminate the reception card. This will save printing and postage costs.
Ceremony Cards
If the guest list for the reception is larger than the guest list for the ceremony, a special insertion card with
the date, time and location for the ceremony should be enclosed with the reception invitation for those guests
also invited to the ceremony.
Ceremony cards should be placed in front of the invitation, facing the back flap and the person inserting
them. They should be printed on the same quality paper and in the same style as the invitation itself.
Pew Cards
Pew cards may be used to let special guests and family members know they are to be seated in the reserved
section on either the bride's side or the groom's side. These are most typically seen in large, formal ceremonies.
Guests should take this card to the ceremony and show it to the ushers, who should then escort them to their
seats. Pew cards may indicate a specific pew number if specific seats are assigned, or may read
"Within the Ribbon" if a certain number of pews are reserved but no specific seat is assigned.
Pew cards may be inserted along with the invitation, or may be sent separately after the RSVPs have been
returned. It is often easier to send them after you have received all RSVPs so you know how many reserved
pews will be needed.
Include the pew card with the invitation and just say "Within the Ribbon." After you have received all your
RSVPs, you will know how many pews will need to be reserved for these special guests. This will save you the
cost of mailing the pew cards separately.
Seating / Place Cards
Seating/place cards are used to let guests know where they should be seated at the reception and are a good
way of putting people together so they feel most comfortable. Place cards should be laid out alphabetically on a
table at the entrance to the reception. Each card should correspond to a table (either by number, color, or other
identifying factor). Each table should be marked accordingly.
Select a traditional or contemporary design for your place cards, depending on the style of your wedding.
Regardless of the design, place cards must contain the same information: the bride and groom's names on the first
line; the date on the second line; the third line is left blank for you to write in the guest's name; and the fourth line
is for the table number, color, or other identifying factor.
Rain Cards
These cards are enclosed when guests are invited to an outdoor ceremony and/or reception, informing them
of an alternate location in case of bad weather. As with other enclosures, rain cards should be placed in front of
the invitation, facing the back flap and the person inserting them. They should be printed on the same quality paper
and in the same style as the invitation itself.
Maps
Maps to the ceremony and/or reception are becoming frequent inserts in wedding invitations. They need to
be drawn and printed in the same style as the invitation and are usually on a small, heavier card. If they are not
printed in the same style or on the same type of paper as the invitation, they should be mailed separately.
Maps should include both written and visual instructions, keeping in mind the fact that guests may be coming
from different locations. Order extra maps to hand out at the ceremony if the reception is at a different location.
If you are comfortable with computers, you can purchase software that allows you to draw your own maps.
Print a map to both the ceremony and reception on the same sheet of paper, perhaps one on each side. This will
save you the cost of mailing two maps. Or have your ushers hand out maps to the reception after the ceremony.
Ceremony Programs
Ceremony programs are printed documents showing the sequence of events during the ceremony. These
programs add a personal touch to your wedding and are a convenient way of letting guests know who your
attendants, officiant, and ceremony musicians are.
Example of Ceremony Program
The Marriage of
Carol Ann Smith and William James Clark
the fourth of March, 2000
San Diego, California
Our Ceremony
Prelude:
All I Ask of You, by Andrew Lloyd Webber
Processional:
The Canon, by Pachelbel
Rite of Marriage
Welcome guests
Statement of intentions
Marriage vows
Exchange of rings
Blessing of bride and groom
Pronouncement of marriage
Presentation of the bride and groom
Recessional:
Trumpet Voluntary, by Jeromiah Clarke
Our Wedding Party
Maid of Honor
Susan Smith, Sister of Bride
Best Man
Brandt dark. Brother of Groom
Bridesmaids
Janet Andersen, Friend of Bride
Lisa Bennett, Friend of Bride
Ushers
Mark Gleason, Friend of Groom
Tommy Olson, Friend of Groom
Officiant
Father Henry Thomas
Our Reception
Please join us after the ceremony
in the celebration of our marriage at:
La Valencia Hotel
1132 Prospect Street
La Jolla, CA
Ceremony programs can be handed out to guests by the ushers, or they can be placed at the back of the
church for guests to take as they enter.
Announcements
Announcements are not obligatory but do serve a useful purpose. They may be sent to those friends who
are not invited to the wedding because the number of guests must be limited, or because they live too far away.
They may also be sent to acquaintances who, while not particularly close to the family, might still wish to know
of the marriage.
Announcements are also appropriate for friends and acquaintances who are not expected to attend and for
whom you do not want to give an obligation of sending a gift. They should include the day, month, year, city, and
state where the ceremony took place.
Announcements should never be sent to anyone who has received an invitation to the ceremony or the
reception. They are printed on the same paper and in the same style as the invitations. They should be addressed
before the wedding and mailed the day of or the day after the ceremony.
Thank-You Notes
Regardless of whether the bride has thanked the donor in person or not, she must write a thank-you note for
every gift received.
Order thank-you notes along with your other stationery at least four months before your wedding. You should
order some with your maiden initials for thank-you notes sent before the ceremony, and the rest with your married
initials for notes sent after the wedding and for future use. Send thank-you notes within two weeks of receiving a
gift that arrives before the wedding, and within two months after the honeymoon for gifts received on or after your
wedding day. Be sure to mention the gift you received in the body of the note and let the person know how much
you like it and what you and your spouse plan to do with it.
Stamps
Don't forget to budget stamps for response cards as well as for invitations!
Don't order your stamps until you have had the post office weigh your completed invitation. It may exceed the
size and weight for one stamp. Order commemorative stamps that fit the occasion.
Calligraphy
Calligraphy is a form of elegant handwriting often used to address invitations for formal occasions. Traditional
wedding invitations should be addressed by hand in black or blue fountain pen.
You may address the invitations yourself, hire a professional calligrapher, or have your invitations addressed
using calligraphy by computer. Make sure you use the same method or person to address both the inner and outer
envelopes.
You may want to consider taking a short course to learn the art of calligraphy so that you can address your
own invitations. If you have a computer with a laser printer, you can also address the invitations yourself using
calligraphy fonts. There are many beautiful styles to choose from.
Napkins And Matchbooks
Napkins and matchbooks may also be ordered from your stationer. These are placed around the reception
room as decorative items and mementos of the event.
Napkins and matchbooks can be printed in your wedding colors or white with gold or silver lettering. Include
both of your names and the wedding date. You may consider including a phrase or thought, or a small graphic
design above your names.
Addressing Envelopes
Use the following guidelines for addressing invitations
----------
Husband and Wife (with same surname)
Inner Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Outer Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Smith
(use middle name, if known)
----------
Husband and Wife (with different surnames)
Inner Envelope
Ms. Banks and Mr. Smith
(wife first)
Outer Envelope
Ms. Angela Banks
Mr. Thomas Smith
(wife's name above husband's)
----------
Husband and Wife (wife has professional title')
Inner Envelope
Dr. Smith and Mr. Smith
Outer Envelope
Dr. Anita Smith
Mr. Thomas Smith
(wife's name & title above husband's)
----------
Husband and Wife With Children under 16
Inner Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Smith, John, Mary, and Glen (in order of age)
Outer Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Smith
----------
Single Woman (regardless of age)
Inner Envelope
Miss/Ms. Smith
Outer Envelope
Miss/Ms. Beverly Smith
----------
Single Woman and Guest
Inner Envelope
Miss/Ms. Smith and Mr. Jones (or "and Guest")
Outer Envelope
Miss/Ms. Beverly Smith
----------
Single Man
Inner Envelope
Mr.Jones (Master for a young boy)
Outer Envelope
Mr. William Jones
----------
Single Man and Guest
Inner Envelope
Mr.Jones Miss/Ms. Smith (or "and Guest")
Outer Envelope
Mr. William Jones
----------
Unmarried Couple Living Together
Inner Envelope
Mr. Knight and Ms. Orlandi
(names listed alphabetically)
Outer Envelope
Mr. Michael Knight
Ms. Paula Orlandi
----------
Two Sisters (over 16)
Inner Envelope
The Misses Smith
Outer Envelope
The Misses Mary and Jane Smith (in order of age)
----------
Two Brothers (over 16)
Inner Envelope
The Messrs. Smith
Outer Envelope
The Messrs. John and Glen Smith (in order of age)
----------
Brothers & Sisters (over 16)
Inner Envelope
Mary, Jane, John & Glen
(name the girls first, in order of age)
Outer Envelope
The Misses Smith
The Messrs. Smith
(name the girls first)
----------
A Brother and Sister (over 16)
Inner Envelope
Jane and John Smith
(name the girl first)
Outer Envelope
Miss Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith
(name the girl first)
----------
A Widow<
Inner Envelope
Mrs. Smith
Outer Envelope
Mrs. William Smith
----------
Divorce
Inner Envelope
Mrs. Smith
Outer Envelope
Mrs. Jones Smith
(maiden name and husband's surname)
Ceremonies