Reception

The reception is a party where all your guests come together to celebrate your new life as a married couple. It should reflect and complement the formality of your ceremony. The selection of a reception site will depend on its availability, price, proximity to the ceremony site, and the number of people it will accommodate.

There are two basic types of reception sites.

1. The first type
   charges a per person fee which includes the facility, food, tables, silverware, china, and so forth.
   Examples:
   hotels, restaurants and catered yachts.
   
   
2. The second type
   charges a room rental fee and you are responsible for providing the food, beverages, linens, and possibly tables and chairs.
   Examples:
   clubs, halls, parks, museums, and private homes.
   
   

The advantage of the first type is that most everything is done for you. The disadvantage, however, is that your choices of food, china, and linen are limited. Usually you are not permitted to bring in an outside caterer and must select from a predetermined menu.

Private homes, gardens, hotels, clubs, restaurants, halls, parks, museums, yachts, and wineries are some of the more popular choices for receptions.

When comparing the cost of different locations, consider the rental fee, food, beverages, parking, gratuity, setup charges and the cost of rental equipment needed such as tables, chairs, canopies, and so forth. If you are planning an outdoor reception, be sure to have a backup site in case of rain.

Questions

Make sure you ask all the following questions before selecting a reception site:

• What is the name & phone number of my contact person?
  
  
• What dates & times are available?
  
  
• What is the maximum number of guests for a seated reception?
  
  
• What is the maximum number of guests for a cocktail reception?
  
  
• What is the reception site fee?
  
  
• What is the price range for a seated lunch?
  
  
• What is the price range for a buffet lunch?
  
  
• What is the price range for a seated dinner?
  
  
• What is the price range for a buffet dinner?
  
  
• Can we keep the left over food?
  
  
• What is the corkage fee?
  
  
• What is the cake-cutting fee?
  
  
• What is the ratio of servers to guests?
  
  
• How much time will be allotted for my reception?
  
  
• What music restrictions are there, if any?
  
  
• What alcohol restrictions are there, if any?
  
  
• Are there any restrictions for rice or rose petal tossing?
  
  
• What room and table decorations are available?
  
  
• Is a changing room available?
  
  
• Is there handicap accessibility?
  
  
• Is a dance floor included in the site fee?
  
  
• Are tables, chairs, and linens included in the site fee?
  
  
• Are outside caterers allowed?
  
  
• Are kitchen facilities available for outside caterers?
  
  
• Does the facility have full liability insurance?
  
  
• What "perks" or giveaways are offered?
  
  
• How many parking spaces are available for my family and wedding party?How many parking spaces are available for my guests?
  
  
• What is the cost for parking, if any?
  
  
• What is the cost for sleeping rooms, if available?
  
  
• What is the payment policy?
  
  
• What is the cancellation policy?
  
  
• Are credit cards accepted?
  
  

Caution

Some hotels are known for double booking. A bride may reserve the largest or most elegant room in a hotel for her reception, only to find out later that the hotel. took the liberty to book a more profitable event in the room she had reserved and moved her reception over to a smaller or less elegant room.

Also be careful of hotels that book events too close together. You don't want your guests to wait outside while your room is being set up for the reception. And you don't want to be "forced out" before you are ready to leave because the hotel needs to arrange the room for the next reception. Get your rental hours and the name of your room in writing.

Since the cost of the reception is approximately 35% of the total cost of your wedding, you can save the most money by limiting your guest list. If you hire a wedding consultant, he/she may be able to cut your cake and save you the cake-cutting fee. Check this out with your facility or caterer. Reception sites that charge a room rental fee may waive this fee if you meet minimum requirements on food and beverages consumed. But try to negotiate this before you book the facility.

Hors-d'oeuvres

At receptions where a full meal is to be served, hors d' oeuvres may be offered to guests during the first hour of the reception. However, at a tea or cocktail reception, hors d' oeuvres will be the "main course."

There are many options for hors-d'oeuvres, depending on the formality of your reception and the type of food to be served at the meal. Popular items are foods that can easily be picked up and eaten with one hand. Hors-d'oeuvres may be set out on tables "buffet style" for guests to help themselves, or they may be passed around on trays by waiters and waitresses.

When selecting hors-d'oeuvres for your reception, consider whether heating or refrigeration will be available and choose your food accordingly. When planning your menu, consider the time of day. You should select lighter hors-d' oeuvres for a midday reception and heavier hors-d'oeuvres for an evening reception.

Tray pass hors-d'oeuvres during cocktail hour and serve a lighter meal. Avoid serving hors-d'oeuvres that are labor intensive or that require expensive ingredients. Compare two or three caterers; there is a wide price range between caterers for the same food. Compare the total cost of catering (main meal plus hors-d'oeuvres) when selecting a caterer. Consider serving hors-d'oeuvres "buffet style." Your guests will eat less this way than if waiters and waitresses are constantly serving them hors-d'oeuvres.

Main Meal / Caterer

If your reception is going to be in a hotel, restaurant or other facility that provides food, you will need to select a meal to serve your guests. Most of these facilities will have a predetermined menu from which to select your meal. If your reception is going to be in a facility that does not provide food, you will need to hire an outside caterer. The caterer will be responsible for preparing, cooking, decorating and serving the food.

The caterer will also be responsible for beverages and for cleaning up after the event. Before signing a contract, make sure you understand all the services the caterer will provide. Your contract should state the amount and type of food and beverages that will be served, the way in which they will be served, the number of s ervers who will be available, the cost per item or person, and the rental items the caterer will provide such as tables, chairs and tableware.

Food can be served either buffet-style or as a sit-down meal. It should be chosen according to the time of day, year, and formality of the wedding. Although there are many main dishes to choose from, chicken and beef are the most popular selections for a large event. Ask your facility manager or caterer for their specialty. If you have a special type of food you would like to serve at your reception, select a facility or caterer who specializes in preparing it.

When hiring a caterer, check to see if the location for your reception provides refrigeration and cooking equipment. If not, make sure your caterer is fully self supported with portable refrigeration and heating equipment. A competent caterer will prepare much of the food in his/her own kitchen and should provide an adequate staff of cooks, servers, and bartenders. Ask for references and look at photos from previous parties so you know how the food will be presented; or better yet, visit an event they are catering.

Questions

Be sure to ask all the following questions before selecting a caterer:

• What is the name and phone number of my contact person?
  
  
• How many years have you been in business?
  
  
• What percentage of your catering business is dedicated to wedding receptions?
  
  
• Do you have liability insurance?
  
  
• Are you licensed to serve alcohol?
  
  
• What is your ratio of servers to guests?
  
  
• How do your servers dress for wedding receptions?
  
  
• What is your price range for a seated lunch?
  
  
• What is your price range for a buffet lunch?
  
  
• What is your price range for a seated dinner?
  
  
• What is your price range for a buffet dinner?
  
  
• How much gratuity is expected?
  
  
• What is your labor fee per employee?
  
  
• What is your cake-cutting fee?
  
  
• What is your bartending fee?
  
  
• What is your fee to clean-up after the reception?
  
  
• What is your payment policy?
  
  
• What is your cancellation policy?
  
  
• Do you accept credit cards?
  
  
• When is the fmal head-count needed?
  
  

Caution

Avoid mayonnaise, cream sauces, or custard fillings if food must go unrefrigerated for any length of time.

Give only 85 to 95 percent of your final guest count to your caterer or facility manager, depending on how certain you are that all of your guests who have responded will come. Chances are that several, if not many, of your guests will not show up. If they do, your caterer should have enough food for all of them. This is especially true with buffet style receptions, in which case the facility or caterer will charge extra for each additional guest. However, if you give a complete count of your guests to your caterer and some of them don't show up, you will still have to pay for their plates. If offering a buffet meal, have the catering staff serve the food onto guests' plates rather than allowing guests to serve themselves. This will help to regulate the amount of food consumed.

Select food that is not too time-consuming to prepare, or food that does not have expensive ingredients. Also, consider a brunch or early afternoon wedding so the reception will fall between meals, allowing you to serve hors-d'oeuvres instead of a full meal. Or tray pass hors-d'oeu-vres during cocktail hour and choose a lighter meal.

Liquor / Beverages

Prices for liquor and beverages vary greatly, depending on the amount and brand of alcohol served. It is an expected tradition that at least champagne or punch be served to toast the couple.

White and red wines, scotch, vodka, gin, rum, and beer are the most popular alcoholic beverages. Sodas and fruit punch are popular nonalcoholic beverages served at receptions. And of course, don't forget coffee or tea. There are a number of options and variations for serving alcoholic beverages: a full open bar where you pay for your guests to drink as much as they wish; an open bar for the first hour, followed by a cash bar where guests pay for their own drinks; cash bar only; beer and wine only; nonalcoholic beverages only; or any combination thereof.

If you're hosting an open bar at a facility that provides alcohol, ask the catering manager how they charge for liquor: by consumption or by number of bottles opened. Get this in writing and then ask for a full consumption report after the event.

If you plan to serve alcoholic beverages at a facility that does not provide liquor, make sure your caterer has a license to serve alcohol and that the facility allows alcoholic beverages. If you plan to order your own alcohol, do so three or four weeks before the event. If you plan to have a no-host or "cash" bar, consider notifying your guests so they know to bring cash with them. A simple line that says "No-Host Bar" on the reception card should suffice.

In selecting the type of alcohol to serve, consider the age and preference of your guests, the type of food that will be served, and the time of day your guests will be drinking.

On the average, you should allow 1 drink per person per hour at the reception. A bottle of champagne will usually serve six glasses. Never serve liquor without some type of food.

Caution

In today's society, it is not uncommon for the hosts of a party to be held legally responsible for the conduct and safety of their guests. Keep this in mind when planning the quantity and type of beverages to serve. Also, be sure to remind your bartenders not to serve alcohol to minors.

To keep beverage costs down, serve punch, wine, or nonalcoholic drinks only. If your caterer allows it, consider buying liquor from a wholesaler who will let you return unopened bottles. Also, avoid salty foods such as potato chips, pretzels or ham. These foods will make your guests thirstier so they will tend to drink more.

Host alcoholic beverages for the first hour, then go to a cash bar. Or host beer, wine, and soft drinks only and have mixed drinks available on a cash basis. The bartending fee is often waived if you meet the minimum requirements on beverages consumed. For the toast, tray pass champagne only to those guests who want it, not to everyone. Many people will make a toast with whatever they are currently drinking. Consider serving sparkling cider in place of champagne.

Omit waiters and waitresses. Instead, have an open bar in which your guests have to get their own drinks. People tend to drink almost twice as much if there are waiters and waitresses constantly asking them if they would like another drink and then bringing drinks to them.

Bartending / Bar Set-Up Fee

Some reception sites and caterers charge an extra fee for bartending and for setting up the bar. The bartending fee could be and often is waived if you meet a minimum requirement on beverages consumed. Try to negotiate this with your caterer prior to hiring him/her.

Corkage Fee

Many reception sites and caterers make money by marking up the food and alcohol they sell. You may wish to provide your own alcohol for several reasons. First, it is more cost effective. Second, you may want to serve an exotic wine or champagne that the reception site or caterer does not offer. In either case, and if your reception site or caterer allows it, be prepared to pay a corkage fee. This is the fee for each bottle brought into the reception and opened by a member of their staff. You need to consider whether the expenses saved after paying the corkage fee justify the hassle and liability of bringing in your own alcohol.

Fee To Pour Coffee

In addition to the corkage and cake-cutting fees, some facilities also charge extra to pour coffee with the wedding cake. Again, when comparing the cost of various reception sites, don't forget to add up all the extra miscellaneous costs, such as the fee for pouring coffee.

Service Providers' Meals

Service providers' meals are meals you serve your hired wedding professionals at the reception. It is considered a courtesy to feed your photographer, videographer, and any other "service provider" at the reception. Check options and prices with your caterer or reception site manager. Make sure you allocate a place for your service providers to eat. You may want them to eat with your guests, or you may prefer setting a place outside the main room for them to eat. Your service providers may be more comfortable with the latter. You don't need to feed your serv­ice providers the same meal as your guests. You can order sandwiches or another less expensive meal for them. If the meal is a buffet, there should be enough food left after all your guests have been served for your service providers to eat. Tell them they are welcome to eat after all your guests have been served. If this is the case, you may not be charged extra for your service providers to eat. Be sure to discuss this with your catering manager.

Gratuity

It is customary to pay a gratuity fee to your caterer. The average gratuity is 15% to 18% of your food and beverage bill. Gratuities can range from 15% to 25%. Ask about these costs up front and select your caterer or reception site accordingly

Party Favors

Party favors are little gift items given to your guests as mementos of your wedding. They add a very special touch to your wedding and can become keepsakes for your guests.

White matchboxes engraved with the couple's names; cocktail napkins marked in the same way; individually wrapped and marked chocolates, almonds, or fine candy are all popular party favors. Wine or champagne bottles marked with the bride and groom's names and wedding date on a personalized label are also very popular. These come in different sizes and can be purchased by the case.

If you can afford it, you may also consider porcelain or ceramic party favors. These can be custom fired with your name and wedding date on them. A new idea that's gaining in popularity among environmentally conscientious couples is to present each guest with a tiny shoot of an endangered tree to be planted in honor of the bride and groom.

Personalized favors need to be ordered several weeks in advance.

Disposable Cameras

A great way to inexpensively obtain many candid photographs of your wedding day is to place a disposable 35 mm camera loaded with film on each table at your reception, and to have your guests take shots of the event! Disposable cameras come pre-loaded with film. Your guests can leave the cameras at their table or drop them in a basket or other labeled container near the entrance to the reception site. Arrange for someone to collect the cameras after the event. Tell your DJ, musician, or wedding coordinator to encourage your guests to take photographs with the disposables. You will end up with many beautiful, memorable and candid photographs of your reception.

Disposable cameras are sold with and without flash. Disposable cameras with flash are more expensive but necessary if your reception is going to be held indoors or in the evening. If you are planning a large reception, consider buying cameras with only 12 exposures. Otherwise, you may end up with too many photographs. For example, if 200 guests attend your reception and you seat 8 guests per table, you will need to purchase 25 cameras. If each camera has 36 exposures, you will end up with 825 photographs. If the cameras have only 12 exposures, you will end up with 300 photographs, which is a more reasonable quantity!

Instead of developing these photographs into print and then placing them into a big album, have your videographer transfer the negatives directly onto video set to your favorite music. You can then reproduce this "photo montage" and send it as a gift to your friends and family members. You can later decide which of these photographs you want to develop into print.

Rose Petals/Rice

Rose petals or rice are traditionally tossed over the bride and groom as they leave the church after the ceremony or when they leave the reception. These are usually handed out to guests in little sachet bags while the bride and groom are changing into their going away clothes. This tradition was initiated in the Middle Ages whereby a handful of wheat was thrown over the bridal couple as a symbol of fertility. Rose petals are used to symbolize happiness, beauty, and prosperity.

Rose petals, rice, or confetti is often used. However, an environmentally correct alternative is to use grass or flower seeds, which do not need to be "cleaned up" if tossed over a grassy area. These come wrapped in ttractive, recycled packages with the couple's names and wedding date printed on the front.

Rose petals can stain carpets; rice can sting faces, harm birds and make stairs dangerously slippery; confetti is messy and hard to clean. Clubs and hotels seldom permit the use of any of these. Ask about theie policy.

Gift Attendant

The gift attendant is responsible for watching over your gifts during the reception so that no one walks away with them. This is necessary only if your reception is held in a public area such as a hotel or outside garden where other people may be walking by. It is not proper to have a friend or family member take on this duty as he/she would not enjoy the reception. The gift attendant should also be responsible for transporting your gifts from the reception to your car or bridal suite.

In orser to save money, you could hire a young boy or girl from your neighborhood to watch over your gifts at the reception.

Parking Fee / Valet Services

Many reception sites such as hotels, restaurants, etc. charge for parking. It is customary, although not necessary, for the host of the wedding to pay this charge. At a large home reception, you should consider hiring a professional, qualified valet service if parking could be a problem. If so, make sure the valet service is fully insured.

When comparing the cost of reception sites, don't forget to add the cost of parking to the total price. To save money, let your guests pay their own parking fees.