Planning Your Wedding

It is quite true that a couple seeking to be married may enter this all-important union on civil authority only, yet it is much more appropriate for the minister of their choice to conduct the service and give his blessing on the new home being established.

Where the ceremony is performed in the home of the minister or some other home, the arrangements are comparatively simple; however, there is every opportunity to make the service beautiful, inspiring, and deeply religious.

Before the ceremony can begin the minister must satisfy himself that the marriage license is in order. Marriage brings together the law of the State and the sanction of the Church.

Detailed Procedure

A. Planning and Preparation.

Second to the Normandy invasion, there's probably nothing that requires more careful long-range planning than a wedding.

The question has been popped and you're in planning mode. To prevent things from slipping between the cracks and to help you stay on track, use the following checklist. (If you're still speaking to each other after this important initial planning stage, that's a very good sign.)

1. Nine to Twelve Months Before Wedding
   
   
   • Buy an engagement ring (If you haven't already).
     Get tips on buying a diamond, check out nearby jewelers and browse for great diamond rings.
     
     
   • Announce your engagement.
     
     
   • Select a date for your wedding.
     
     
   • Hire a wedding consultant (if you want professional help).
     
     
   • Determine the type of wedding you want: location, formality, time of day, number of guests, etc.
     
     
   • Determine budget and how expenses will be shared.
     
     
   • Develop a record-keeping system for payments made.
     
     
   • Consolidate all guest lists: bride's, groom's, bride's family, groom's family, and organize as follows:
     • Those who must be invited
     • Those who should be invited
     • Those who would be nice to invite
     • Decide if you want to include children among guests.
     
     
     
   • Select and reserve ceremony site.
     
     
   • Select and reserve reception site.
     
     
   • Select and order your bridal gown and headpiece.
     
     
   • Determine your color scheme.
     
     
   • Hire a photographer and/or Videographer.
     
     
   • Send engagement notice with a photograph to your local newspaper.
     
     
   • Buy a calendar and note all important activities: showers, luncheons, parties, get-togethers, etc.
     
     
   • If ceremony or reception is at home, arrange for home or garden improvements as needed.
     
     
   • Order passport, visa or birth certificate, if needed for your honeymoon or marriage license.
     
     
   • Select maid of honor, best man, bridesmaids and ushers (approx. one usher per 50 guests).
     
     
   • Last but not least, celebrate your engagement with a fabulous cocktail party!
     
     
2. Six to Nine Months Before Wedding
   
   
   • Select flower girl and ring bearer.
     
     
   • Give the Wedding Party Responsibility Cards to your wedding party.
     
     
   • Reserve wedding night bridal suite.
     
     
   • Select attendants' dresses, shoes and accessories.
     
     
   • Select flower girl's dress, shoes and accessories.
     
     
   • Select and book caterer, if needed.
     
     
   • Select and book musicians for ceremony and reception.
     
     
   • Schedule fittings and delivery dates for yourself, attendants, flower girl and ring bearer.
     
     
   • Select and book florist.
     
     
   • Select and reserve your officiant. Choose a person to officiate at the wedding, such as a clergyperson or judge.
     NOTE: If you have chosen a minister, you should arrange for a period of counseling in line with the desire of the minister.
     
     
3. Four to Six Months Before Wedding
   
   
   • Start shopping for each other's wedding gifts.
     
     
   • Reserve rental items needed for ceremony & reception.
     
     
   • Finalize guest list.
     
     
   • Select and order wedding invitations, announcements and other stationery such as thank-you notes, wedding programs, and seating cards.
     
     
   • Address invitations or hire a calligrapher.
     
     
   • Set date, time and location for your rehearsal dinner.
     
     
   • Arrange accommodations for out-of-town guests.
     
     
   • Start planning your honeymoon.
     
     
   • Select and book all miscellaneous services, i.e. gift attendant, valet parking, etc.
     
     
   • Register for gifts.
     
     
   • Purchase shoes & accessories.
     
     
   • Begin to break-in your shoes.
     
     
4. Two to Four Months Before Wedding
   
   
   • Select bakery and order wedding cake.
     
     
   • Order party favors.
     
     
   • Select and order room decorations.
     
     
   • Purchase honeymoon attire & luggage.
     
     
   • Select and book transportation for wedding day.
     
     
   • Check blood test and marriage li­cense requirements.
     
     
   • Shop for wedding rings and engrave them.
     
     
   • Consider having your teeth cleaned or bleached.
     
     
   • Consider writing a will and/or pre-nuptial agreement.
     
     
   • Plan activities for your out-of-town guests both before and after the wedding.
     
     
   • Purchase gifts for wedding attendants.
     
     
5. Six to Eight Weeks Before Wedding
   
   
   • Mail invitations. Include accommodation choices and a map to assist guests in finding the ceremony and reception sites.
     
     
   • Maintain a record of RSVPs and all gifts received. Send thank-you notes upon receipt of gifts.
     
     
   • Determine hair style and makeup. Have hairdresser work with your headpiece.
     
     
   • Schedule to have your hair, makeup and nails done the day of me wedding.
     
     
   • Finalize shopping for wedding day accessories such as toasting glasses, ring pillow, guest book, etc.
     
     
   • Set up an area or a table in your home to display gifts as you receive mem.
     
     
   • Check with your local newspapers for wedding announcement requirements.
     
     
   • Have your formal wedding portrait taken.
     
     
   • Send wedding announcement &. photograph to your local newspapers.
     
     
   • Change name & address on drivers license, social security card, insurance policies, subscriptions, bank accounts, memberships, etc.
     
     
   • Select and reserve wedding attire for groom, ushers, father of the bride and ring bearer.
     
     
   • Select a guest book attendant. De­cide where and when to have guests sign in.
     
     
   • Mail invitations to rehearsal dinner.
     
     
   • Get blood test and health certificate.
     
     
   • Obtain marriage license.
     
     
   • Plan a luncheon or dinner with your bridesmaids. Give them their gifts at that time or at the rehearsal dinner.
     
     
   • Find "something old, something new, something borrowed, some­thing blue, and a six pence (or shiny penny) for your shoe."
     
     
   • Finalize your menu, beverage and alcohol order with your caterer.
     
     
6. Two to Six Weeks Before Wedding
   
   
   • Confirm ceremony details with your officiant.
     
     
   • Arrange fmal fitting of bridesmaids' dresses.
     
     
   • Have fmal fitting of your gown and headpiece.
     
     
   • Finalize rehearsal dinner plans; arrange seating and write names on place cards, if desired.
     
     
   • Make final floral selections.
     
     
   • Make a detailed schedule for your wedding party.
     
     
   • Make a detailed schedule for your service providers.
     
     
   • Confirm details with all service pro­viders, including attire. Give them a copy of your wedding schedule.
     
     
   • Start packing for your honeymoon.
     
     
   • Finalize addressing and stamping announcements.
     
     
   • Decide if you want to form a receiving line. If so, determine when and where to form the line.
     
     
   • Contact guests who haven't responded.
     
     
   • Pick up rings and check for fit.
     
     
   • Meet with photographer and confirm special photos you want taken.
     
     
   • Meet with videographer and confirm special events or people you want videotaped.
     
     
   • Meet with musicians and confirm music to be played during special events such as first dance.
     
     
   • Continue writing thank-you notes as gifts arrive.
     
     
   • Remind bridesmaids and ushers of when and where to pick up their wedding attire.
     
     
   • Purchase the lipstick, nail polish and any other accessories you want your bridesmaids to wear.
     
     
   • Determine ceremony seating for special guests. Give a list to the ushers.
     
     
   • Plan reception room layout and seat­ing with your reception site manager or caterer. Write names on place cards for arranged seating.
     
     
7. The Last Week
   
   
   • Pick up wedding attire and make sure everything fits.
     
     
   • Do final guest count and notify your caterer or reception site manager.
     
     
   • Gather everything you will need for the rehearsal and wedding day as listed in the Wedding Party Responsibility Cards.
     
     
   • Arrange for someone to drive the getaway car.
     
     
   • Review the schedule of events and last minute arrangements with your service providers.
     
     
   • Confirm all honeymoon reservations and accommodations. Pick up tick­ets and travelers checks.
     
     
   • Finish packing your suitcases for the honeymoon.
     
     
   • Familiarize yourself with guests' names. It will help during the re­ceiving line and reception.
     
     
   • Have the Post Office hold your mail while you are away on your honeymoon.
     
     
8. The Rehearsal Day
   
   
   • Review list of things to bring to the rehearsal as listed in the Wedding Party Responsibility Cards.
     
     
   • Put suitcases in getaway car.
     
     
   • Give your bridesmaids the lipstick, nail polish and accessories you want them to wear for the wedding.
     
     
   • Give best man the officiant's fee and any other checks for service providers. Instruct him to deliver these checks the day of the wedding.
     
     
   • Arrange for someone to bring accessories such as flower basket, ring pillow, guest book & pen, toasting glasses, cake cutting knife and napkins to the ceremony.
     
     
   • Arrange for someone to mail announcements the day after the wedding.
     
     
   • Arrange for someone to return rental items such as tuxedos, slip and cake pillars after the wedding.
     
     
   • Provide each member of your wedding party with a detailed schedule of events for the wedding day.
     
     
   • Review ceremony seating with ushers.
     
     
9. The Wedding Day
   
   
   • Review list of things to bring to the ceremony as listed in the Wedding Party Responsibility Cards.
     
     
   • Give the groom's ring to the maid of honor. Give the bride's ring to the best man.
     
     
   • Simply follow your detailed schedule of events.
     
     
   • Relax and enjoy your wedding!
     
     

B. The Wedding.

The order of procedure will usually follow like this:

1. Preliminary Organ Music.
   Music starts 30 minutes before the ceremony.
   
   
2. Arrival of Guests.
   
   
3. Seating of Groom's Parents.
   Five minutes before the ceremony, seat the groom's parents.
   
   
4. Lighting of Candles.
   
   
5. Musical Selections.
   
   
6. Immediately before the processional march, seat the bride's mother.
   
   
7. The Wedding March, and Processional.
   
   
   1. The Minister and the Groom enter from the right side and take their places.
      
      
   2. Bride's Maids are ushered down aisle by Groom's Men to their places.
      
      
   3. Maid of Honor is ushered down aisle by the Best Man to her place.
      
      
   4. Ring Bearer proceeds down aisle to his place.
      
      
   5. Flower Girl proceeds down aisle to her place.
      
      
   6. Bride is ushered down aisle by her father (or, for various reasons, could be a brother or uncle) to her place.
      
      
8. The Wedding Ceremony.
   Be sure to submit the Wedding Plans form to me after you have completed planning your ceremony.
   
   
   1. Minister's Opening Remarks
      
      
   2. Question Of Intent
      
      
   3. Breaking Of Bread And Drinking Of Wine
      
      
   4. Wedding Vows
      
      
   5. Ring Ceremony
      
      
   6. Light Unity Candle
      
      
   7. The Pronouncement
      
      
   8. Prayer
      
      
   9. Benediction
      
      
   10. Special Instructions or Remarks.
       (1) Readings
       Readings may be used before, in, or after any of the above items. If you wish to have a reading/readings in your ceremony, please write it/them out along with the author's name in the Special Instructions or Remarks section including where and how it is to be used in the ceremony.
       (2) Special Songs
       Special Songs should have their titles and where they will be used in the ceremony listed in the Special Instructions or Remarks Section.
       
       
9. The Recesional
   
   
   1. Bride is ushered out by Groom
      
      
   2. Flower Girl is ushered out by Ring Bearer
      
      
   3. Maid of Honor is ushered out by Best Man
      
      
   4. Bride's Maids are ushered out by Groom's Men
      
      
   5. Bride's Mother is ushered out bu Bride's Father
      
      
   6. Groom's Mother is ushered out by Groom's Father
      
      
   7. Minister leaves last
      
      
10. Photo Session
    
    
11. Reception
    
    

C. Decorations.

1. Of course the Bride is primarily responsible for the decorations. She should manage this matter to include due attention to these items:
   
   
   1. Installation and removal of decorations must not interfere with other uses of a church, public building, park, etc.
      
      
   2. No decoration of any kind is to be placed on the Altar or the Communion Table, and no decorations should obscure the view of the Christian symbols.
      
      
   3. No damage is in any way to be done to any church or other public building.
      
      
2. Reception Table Centerpieces
   
   
   1. Each of the tables at your reception, including the head table, should be decorated with a centerpiece. Candles, mirrors and flowers are popular choices for table centerpieces. However, the options are endless. Just be creative! An arrangement of shells, for example, makes a very nice centerpiece for a seaside reception. Votive candles set on top of a mirror make a romantic centerpiece for an evening reception. A wreath of greenery woven with colored ribbon makes a delightful centerpiece. Use a different color ribbon at each table and have your guests seated according to ribbon color!
      
      
   2. Select a table centerpiece which complements your colors and/or setting. The centerpiece for the head table should be larger or more elaborate than for the other tables. Make sure that your centerpiece is kept low enough so as not to hinder conversation among guests seated across from each other. Consider using a centerpiece that your guests can take home as a memento of your wedding.
      
      
3. Balloons
   
   
   1. Balloons are less expensive than fresh flowers and can be used as a substitute for flowers to decorate the reception site
      
      
   2. Balloons are often used to decorate a reception site. A popular idea is to release balloons at the church or reception. This adds a festive, exciting, and memorable touch to your wedding. Balloons can be used to create an arch backdrop for the wedding cake or inexpensive centerpieces for the tables.
      
      
   3. Color coordinate your balloons to match your wedding color scheme. Choose colors from your bouquet or your bridesmaids' dresses. Balloons should be delivered and set up well in advance (at least before the photographer shows up).
      
      
   4. If you are planning to release balloons at the church or reception, check with your city. Releasing balloons in some cities might be illegal. Also make sure there are no wires in which balloons can get entangled. If they do, you could be held responsible for damages or cleanup expenses.