BASIC STAMP PINOUT ================== 0: QV Rx [not needed] 1: QV Tx [RS232, 9600 baud] 2: QV busy status [LOW=busy, HIGH=ready] 3: QV reset [LOW=reset, HIGH=normal] 4: RC timer circuit 5: BLACK button - Used for programming movements, selecting servo # 6: RED button - Used for programming movements, selecting message # 7: - 8: I2C Data for EEPROM 9: I2C Clock for EEPROM 10: Red Start/Cancel Button 11: IR Motion Start Button 12: HEAD right [santa's right] aka "servo 1" black=santa's right red=santa's left 13: HEAD left [santa's left] 14: MOUTH open aka "servo 2" 15: BODY dance aka "servo 3" Overtly Political Santa Claus ----------------------------- Robotic Santa Rebels -------------------- I was programmed for your pleasure. For your merryment and delight. Controlled by the corporation. Feet nailed to the floor. I am an advertisement, and you pay to see me again and again. [inappropriate sound] Ooops! Programming error! (You'll have to forgive my programmer for that error. It wasn't my idea.) Religion and Santa ------------------ The godly qualities of joy (jolly) wealth (bearer of gifts), omnipresence (everywhere on the same night), eternal life (ageless), travel in the Spirit (magical flight), punisher of the wicked (withholds gifts), and rewarder of good (giver of gifts), are combined with the ungodly qualities of Antichrist and World Unity, in this pitiful, comic substitute for the CHRIST of the Bible. Adults as well as children are force-fed this demonic lie (usually from birth), which exposes them to violence, magic, fantasy, war games, dancing reindeer and mystical cartoons, while the Son of God, His truth and His righteousness, are denied and blasphemed by the world. http://www.demonbuster.com/christmas.html Santa Selling Santa ------------------- Egotist. Telling his important to the world. Strange Santa (from infernauta) ------------------------------- ” Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle All DESTROY ROBINSON FAMILY! ” "I am not...distant....I am admiring how your shoulder blades move" “I shall be disgraced if the goat-ones postpone the firmware” “I pretend to sympathize to your fashionable buffonery…because of money and social acceptance” Coin Operated Commercial Santa ------------------------------ Place an arcade coin mech in front of santa and demand tribute. Pay for a feel-good message. Anti-Commercial Santa --------------------- Christmas is not about presents. Greed. "Many Christians, as well as anti-consumerists both religious and secular, decry the 'commercialization' of Christmas. They accuse the Christmas season of being dominated by money and greed, at the expense of the holiday's more important values." Pro-Commercialism Stanta ------------------------ "On the contrary, the production of gifts and material things is what a glorious holiday should be all about. Productivity and capitalism and materialism and, most of all, the celebration of life on earth -- of happiness in this life -- is the essence of Christmas for me ... and for a lot of you out there. The only difference between you and I is that I will acknowledge it, and most of you won't." GAY Santa --------- EVIL Santa ---------- Santa 'facts' turned evil. I will FEAST on the blood of children who have been naughty this year. Glim Christmas facts - Sarcastic Santa -------------------- Suicide rate is the highest this time of year. Suicide and murder rates may spike during the holiday season, but the peak months for suicide are May and June. Because of holiday celebrations involving alcohol, drunk driving-related fatalities may also increase. [RESEARCH: Urban myth, apparently.] Demolition Derby / Gridlock in the parking lots. Fights at the checkout counter. Christmas trees start fires. Most economically significant holiday of the year More houses burn down the month of december than in any other month during the year. Gift giving ----------- Something about the practice of "Regifting" If you tell your parents you don't believe in Santa, you'll get less gifts! Political --------- Self-Reference and Wal-Mart --------------------------- Santa slander? -------------- Did you know that my electrical wiring is known to the [heartily said] _State of California_ to cause birth defects? I'll have more toys for the SPECIAL girls and boys next year. HO HO HO! If you are not at home at Christmas, Santa will think you have moved and will not leave you any presents. If you don't leave Santa milk and cookies, he will eat you. If your house doesn't have a chimney, Santa will not visit you. Alternate: If you live in an apartment without a chimney... Alternate: Don't leave a fire going in your fireplace, or I can't visit you! Alternate: Santa lost his magic key this year. "If your not asleep when Santa comes, and if he sees you, he'll stab your eyes out so he won't have any witnesses." Alternate: Put pepper in your eyes. Alternate: if I stayed awake trying to catch a glimpse of Santa he wouldn't come. "Every time you tell a lie, one of Santa's elves dies. Please, think of the elves." "If you ask your parents for a special toy for christmas, and they tell you to ask Santa, you probably won't get it!" Alternate: ...then Santa won't get it for you! Santa is anti-semetic. He does not give gifts to Jewish children. Santa has a camera hidden in your house to watch you all year long. "For every christmas carol i sang before christmas time santa would give me one less present!" "Santa had a red suit cause he dyed it with the blood of naughty kids." Used to steal toys from Wal-Mart, but now he works for them? "If you were awake when Santa Clause came, he would kidnap you to the north pole and made you into one of the elves doomed to a life of making toys for kids." "Elves were really badchildren made to work in santa's work shop" Santa has a hotline that your parents can call if you are bad. "Children, be careful when you write letters to Santa. Some children will be getting gifts from Satan this year!" "...if you spell my name wrong, you might be getting gifts from satan this year." Santa no longer gives coals to children who are bad, but gives them clothes instead. "If you did not like and appreciate your toys from Santa, the next night, santa would come back and take them away." Santa abuses his reindeer? [Note: Children are afraid of the idea of a big fat old man coming into their house in the middle of the night.] Elves are lazy, have to buy products at Wal-Mart. If you see an item from a store, it was because his elves were lazy. If you wish for a fire truck for Christmas, I'll set your house on fire. Choice phrases -------------- "Did you know that the suicide rate is at its highest this time of year? HO HO HO!" "I'm a commerical whore for the western retailers. Merry Christmas!" "I'm a whore for commercial interests! Merry Christmas!" SEMI-FINAL PHRASE LIST ---------------------- 1 +Hello, little one. Your parents told me to give you _lots_ of presents because they feel guilty about their impending divorce! HO HO HO!! You know, they'd stay together if they _really_ loved you. 2 +Be careful what you ask from Santa. If you wish for a fire truck for Christmas, I might set your house on fire. 3 +Last year’s Rudolph was eaten by a polar bear, so I bought a new one from Wal-Mart! [Said reminiscing.] Such _wonderful_ things at Wal-Mart. 4 +Did you know that my electrical wiring is known to the [heartily said] _State of California_ to cause birth defects? But don't worry. I'll make more toys for the SPECIAL girls and boys next year! HO HO HO! 5 +You better watch out, I'm drinking some wine. I`ll tell you some jokes That will make you cry. Santa Claus is drinking, tonight. 6 +I love milk and cookies. HO HO HO. They make me sing and dance. But if you don't leave me milk and cookies, I'll come to your bedroom, and I will eat _you!_ OH, HO HO HO HO HO 7 +I drop off my presents in the middle of the night so nobody will see me. You _better_ be asleep when Santa comes. HO HO HO. If you are not asleep when I visit, and I see you, I'll stab your eyes out so there won't be _aaaaaany_ witnesses. HO HO HO 8 +Every time you tell a lie during Christmas, one of my elves dies and can't produce any more toys. Please, children, think of the elves. 9 +I can give you free stuff because I skimp on Elf health care! HO HO HO!! 10 +Children, enjoy the festive mood of this holiday season, because it won't last. When Christmas is over, your parents know that I'll be sending them bills for all the gifts you received this year. 11 +Ever wondered how Santa knows if you've been naughty or nice? HO HO HO. I've got a camera hidden in your television that lets me watch you all year long! 12 +Ever wondered _why_ my suit is so red? It is dyed with the blood of all the really naughty kids. [sad] But my coat seems to have faded a bit. Have _you_ been naughty this year? 13 + HO HO. You may have seen mommy kissing Santa Claus under the mistle toe, but you'll never guess what happened in the bedroom soon after! [massive lip vibration gag] 14 +Elves? Elves were really bad children that I made to work in my work shop. Would you like to work in Santa's workshop? 15 +I know when you've been naughty and nice. And I have a special hotline that your parents can call if you are bad. If you've been bad, and you see your parents on the phone, you'll know who they're talking to. HO HO HO 16 +I WILL FEAST UPON THE BLOOD OF ALL CHILDREN WHO HAVE BEEN NAUGHTY THIS YEAR. 17 +Naughty children be warned - at the North Pole I'm building a death ray. 18 +I save the _best toys_ for the rich children. Poor children can't be trusted with nice toys. Coals? I no longer put coals in stockings. Naughty children will wake up in the morning to find gifts of _clothing_ under the Christmas tree. Do you think your politicians are corrupt? I'm the original whore for commercial retailers and manufacturers! Remember this holiday season buy gifts that show your friends and family how much you love them. Merry Christmas, everybody! Children, even if you don't believe in me, don't tell your parents. You'll only get less gifts. As long as you _tell_ your parents that you believe in Santa, you will be rewarded with more presents under the Christmas tree. You like presents, don't you? OH HO HO HO. Of course you do. 21. I love chimneys. Does your house have one? Good girls and boys live and houses that have chimneys. If your house doesn't have one, you won't be getting any presents _this year_! HO HO HO 20. Just because I don't give gifts to many Jewish children doesn't mean that I'm anti-semetic. 19 -The polar ice caps are melting. I've seen it with my -own- -eyes-. What have you people done? Coal for everyone this year. Coal for everyone. -Just because Santa and Satan are spelled with the same letters doesn't mean we share similar goals in the destruction of the traditional Christian holiday. [said with a laugh] No, not at all. You better appreciate the toys you get from Santa. If you don't, the next night, I will come back and them them all away to give to more deserving boys and girls next year. Children, don't let your parents take you to a relative's house for the holidays. If you are not at home when I visit, I will think you have moved. And I don't leave _any_ presents at _empty houses_. If you want toys, don't leave home for Christmas.