This is a collection of cartoons ideas that I've thought of over the years. Unfortunately, I haven't had the time or patience to sketch them. Enjoy! Let me know which cartoons you like the most and maybe I'll get around to drawing them. Latest additions are at the bottom.
Two guys are about to park their bikes in front of a building. They find a convenient bike rack; however, the remains of several vandalized bikes are ominously chained to it. A wheel is chained to one rung while a stripped bicycle frame is chained to another. The guys both have worried expressions on their faces and one says to the other, "I have a bad feeling about this..."
A bicyclist is searching for a place to park his bike in front of a building. To his dismay, all of the bike racks are already full (e.g. one bike is chained to every rung). After circling around a couple of times, the bicyclist becomes impatient and decides to share a rung with another bike. The guy loops his chain through his bike and the rung, but accidentally loops it through the other guy's bike, too. Not realizing his mistake, he enters the building where he remains for six hours. Upon returning, he meets the enraged owner of the other bike.
The Ideal Drugstore:
The cartoon shows an aisle in an ordinary drugstore. The shelves on either side are lined with vitamins, supplements, aspirin, etc. In the foreground, there are a row of bottles labeled "caffeine" and another row of bottles labeled "motivation".
There's a drawing of a diseased computer (maybe sweating and covered
blisters). Sitting in front of it, there's a guy who is suffering from a
similar disease (maybe dead?) The title reads, "Compunosis: the branch of
zoonosis dealing with computer viruses that are communicable to humans".
This one probably calls for an explanation. I'm reading a book related to
zoonosis, the study of animal viruses that can be transmitted to humans.
So, I thought "what about computer viruses that can be passed to humans?"
The word "compunosis" is a combination of "computer" and "nosis", he greek word
for disease".
Programmer's Block:
The cartoon has a picture of a computer in the foreground. The monitor displays the early stages of a C++ program. The first line contains "for(int i=0; i<10; i++)" but it has been commented out. The second line contains "int i; for(i=0;i<10;i++)", but it has also been commented out. The third line contains "int i=0; while(i<10)". Off to the side, there's a programmer standing by a window staring out with a vacant expression on his face.
This cartoon is divided horizontally into two panels. In the left panel, there's a crowded hallway with students scurrying to their next class. In the right panel, somebody yells, "Hey, John!" and all of the guys turn around.
The cartoon shows a picture of phonebook labeled "Paramount Pictures" or "Universal Studios". Inside, there are exactly 1000 phone numbers. One of the page is turned back revealing a few:
Victor Newman 555-4567
Fox Mulder 555-4568
Forrest Gump 555-4569
This cartoon is an ad for a revolutionary new sleep treatment. The medication puts you in a deep, peaceful sleep within minutes so that you wake up fresh and energetic the next morning. The side effects include headache, sore throat, nausea, weight loss, hair loss, fatigue, and diarrhea. In rare cases, patients experience blurry vision, vomiting, anemia, seizures, and death.
This cartoon shows a guy standing in a poll booth looking at the candidates for a particular office and scratching his head. He thinks to himself, "Hmm... I don't know any of these candidates, but wait! I saw a poster with John Doe's name in the parking lot so I'll vote for him!!"
There's a guy reading some computer ads. he's comparing prices between different venders and he mutters to himself, "same speed, same memory, same hard-drive...it just doesn't make sense! Why is this computer $200.00, but this computer is only $199.99?"
A student dressed in pajamas stands at the entrance to his school with a perplexed expression. The thought bubble above his head reads, "Damn! I knew I was forgetting something..."
This classroom has a control panel on the wall (or perhaps on each student's desk). The control panel allows the students to control the instructor's lecture using the following buttons:
The cartoon has two panels with the following captions: "What the pedestrian sees" and "What the vehicle sees". In the panel labeled "What the pedestrian sees" a pedestrian stands at an intersection, preparing to cross the street. He sees a "walk" sign illuminated and four red traffic lights (for the traffic perpendicular to the crosswalk). In the panel labeled "What the vehicle sees", a car races down the right-hand lane preparing to make a right-hand turn on red. He imagines that he sees a green right-hand arrow and a pedestrians-prohibited sign, even though he is driving on an ordinary street.
The CEO of Acme Studios is reviewing the company's expenses at a board meeting and complaining bitterly about the cost of professional screenwriters. "Dammit! The audience wants to see spellbinding explosions and state-of-the-art 3-D graphics. Why are we wasting all of this money on screenplays?" The Board members consider the question for a few minutes. Suddenly, one Board member perks up and says, "I think I have the solution to your problem. We'll fire all of our screenwriters and let my daughter's third-grade class write the screenplays. We'll save tons of money, and nobody will know the difference!" The CEO claps his hands and exclaims, "you're brilliant!"
Two computer geeks are observing a sunset over a lake. One says, "Nice environment mapping." The other says, "Totally."
(The same goes for flocking, shadows, and bump mapping)
Each item on the menu has a picture beside it.
A couple is sitting on a sofa reading a "designer child" magazine. The magazine has several child "models" to choose from, with varying looks, intellects, and aptitudes. The mother exclaims, "I like this one, but I'm not sure about the hair color. Hun, don't you think chestnut hair would look better?"
A rack of greeting cards is conveniently organized into four categories:
* Price includes tax.
* Offer includes large soda and fries; subtract $2.00 for small soda and
fries.
* One coupon per hamburger, but otherwise unlimited coupons per customer.
* The nine cheapest hamburgers.
* These offers are valid for one year at all locations.
Want to enjoy the melody and beat of your favorite songs without the distracting, inane lyrics? This novel device extracts human speech from a song of your choice and replaces it with meaningless syllables that match the pitch, inflections, and rhyming of the singer. For example, "I'll always do what's best for yo-ou. Together forever and never to part," becomes "Da malay basil raj are ta-ay. Sivantos agantros eh mantros tadoon"
The prosecutor stands up and yells, "Objection! The defense is trying to sway the jury with emotional appeals."
Two enormous parakeets are standing beside a small cage containing a human. The human is wearing a collar and has a silly (domesticated) grin on its face. One parakeet says to the other, "Margaret, this is our new human, Blondie. We had its feet clipped so it can't run away."
A family is sitting on a couch watching the news on TV. The news reporter says, "Due to lack of interest, Christmas has been cancelled this year," and the parents cheer.
A family is about to start opening presents on Christmas morning. The mom yells, "Chris! Where are you? We're about to start opening presents!". Chris, her son, replies from inside his room, "Be right there! I'm just now wrapping the last one!"
A devil stands before a group of nerds sitting in front of computers. He says, "for your next torment, I command you to write a conforming C++09 compiler from scratch. I'll return in five years to check on your progress. Good luck! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!"
A customer is looking at a bewildering assortment of computer mice in a store. In front of the mice, there is a control panel with a "Search" box, a "Sort by" box, a "Display Customer Feedback" box, and a "Compare Prices" box. Each mouse also has a convenient "Try Me" button.